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How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

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As Harville Hendrix, one of the founders of Imago Relationship Therapy, asked, "Would you rather be right or be in a relationship?" Good relationships shape us and challenge us to grow. If you can learn to be open to change, it will help you transform into an adult in your relationship. Another important thing to do if you want to stop acting like a child in your relationship is to be open to change. Just because your partner has not intuited your needs does not mean they have actively rejected you. Your partner may be anxious, depressed, threatened, unaware, or even self-involved. Despite our best efforts, challenges may arise in adult relationships. Here’s how to navigate through them: 13. Resilience and Adaptability: Weathering Storms Together

Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.

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You need to be able to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about what happened and why it was wrong. This will help to ensure that something similar doesn’t happen again in the future. Instead of saying: "Don't you agree that I'm right? Can you believe how badly he/she acted? Isn't he/she unbelievable?" Ask for what you need rather than making a statement about what you're not getting. This creates a shift toward hopefulness and openness and away from blame and self-fulfilling negative prophecy. Instead of saying: "Unless you admit what you're doing, this relationship is over. I can't be with someone I don't trust." Remember that your partner is probably imperfect rather than acting from a truly bad intention. Two people of goodwill can have different perceptions of the exact same situation, and it's important to remember that each one is rooted in their own experiences. Support yourself so that you can be open to your partner's experience as well as your own.

Discover more about Imago with our Imago Professional Membership , Imago Professional Facilitators, Imago Professional Training, and Imago Educational Webinars .g) It is important to be able to compromise and work together on things instead of just doing what you want all the time. 3. Be respectful Try saying: "You know how easily I feel criticized. Could you try to say the same thing without any blame attached? Could you try and just tell me about your own needs or reactions?" As a child, David Richo spent several weeks each summer at his Aunt Margaret’s farm. He remembers how her fridge was always full of food while the one in his parents’ house was empty most of the time. Later on in life, he realized that he had been deprived of love and support for most of his childhood. Resilience and adaptability are vital when facing challenges as a couple. Stand together, communicate openly, and work through difficulties as a team. LSI Keyword: Resilience in Adult Relationships 14. Forgiveness and Letting Go: Healing Wounds It does not necessarily reflect your partner's intention at that moment. In fact, in the case of intense and repetitively occurring feelings, this is probably not the case. Remember, these intense and repetitive feelings are usually deeply ingrained emotional body memories and sensate responses related to childhood trauma.

Your partner cannot always give you what you need, even when you do ask directly. This is usually because of his or her own emotional trauma and imperfections or even because of realistic time restrictions or other obligations.

Big Idea #2: Childhood can leave us with emotional scars that affect our adult relationships.

If you are going to be late, be considerate call your partner and let them know. There’s no need to have the one you love worry.

Conflict is natural in any relationship, but knowing how to resolve it constructively is essential. Learning to communicate and compromise during disagreements promotes growth and strengthens connections. LSI Keyword: Conflict Resolution in Adult Relationships Nurturing Personal Growth within Relationships

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Trust is earned through honesty, reliability, and consistency in actions and words. Prioritize transparency and accountability in your interactions. LSI Keyword: Trust in Adult Relationships 10. Vulnerability and Intimacy: Opening Up Emotionally

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