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All Your Perfects: A Novel: 4 (Hopeless)

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Gah, and the epilogue!! SO BEAUTIFUL. By the end I was just sobbing big ugly crocodile tears of happiness. He shakes his head. Tiny little fast shakes that indicate I couldn’t be more wrong and he couldn’t be more right. “I have the right apartment. I’m positive. Does your fiancé drive a blue Volvo?”

The novel is structured into two timeframes, ‘Then’ and ‘Now,’ which alternate between the couple’s relationship’s history and present. I would walk through fire to see you happy. I'd give up everything I have to see a genuine smile on your face. If we had to forego sex forever, I would. Hell, I'd even give up cheese to see you finally get your dream of becoming a mother. And you know how much I love cheese." Another muffled scream makes its way through the door. The guy next to me cringes and covers his ears. I cover mine, too. We sit like this for a while. Both of us refusing to allow the noises to penetrate our ears until it’s over. It won’t last long. Ethan can’t last more than a few minutes. I wish Graham confronted Quinn at that point, especially since he subconsciously knew that she heard. However, Graham is not the only person who could have said something at this point. Quinn could’ve called him out on his lie, but she chose to avoid it. They both chose avoidance over communication. It has to be noted as well that Hoover does this suffering thing to her female characters. The only hero who may have suffered the same amount of tragedy is Miles but considering what the female characters went through in his book, it’s really not much at all.I open my mouth, but uncertainty is all that comes out. “Are you . . . are you sure? Maybe those sounds aren’t coming from Ethan’s apartment. Maybe it’s the couple in the apartment next door.” That thought plagues me during the entire ride up the elevator to Ethan’s floor. Vincent has been my favorite doorman since Ethan moved into this apartment building. He always smiles and chats with me. But today, he simply held the door open with a stoic expression. Not even a, “Hello, Quinn. How was your trip?” Disclaimer: I HAVE read this book. So my judgement is as valid as any of yours. I was polite enough not to rate this one star like it deserves, however that changes now. The most important thing I like about it, everything was so real, natural , it’s about the marriage, it’s about struggle, it’s about unconditional love and it’s about learning to forgive each other but mostly learning to forgive yourself.

Nothing she said or did made me feel like this is a relationship where both parties are, or were, equally emotionally involved. There were times where I would say that she definitely only used him for one thing and one thing only: a necessary ingredient for making a child. The pair is battling to keep their marriage together in the ‘ Now‘ timeframe. Quinn’s inability to produce a child strains their marriage. Graham attempts to be helpful but Quinn is unable to cope with his disappointment and grows estranged from him. To make matters worse, Graham commits a mistake that causes a schism in their connection, making it much more difficult for them to mend their relationship. I thought this story was chemical, it broke my heart in the best way and as much as I hurt - I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to leave Quinn and Graham. I wanted to see every detail of what their lives would turn out to be. He has a knowing look in his eye, but then the lines around his eyes fall a little. “You’ll cry tonight. In bed. That’s when it’ll hurt the most. When you’re alone.”There’s a sadness about him. Not one related to our current situation. Something deeper… like it’s embedded in him. I’ve met people who smile with their eyes, but he frowns with his. It’s just that if you’re better looking than Ethan, that makes me think your girlfriend is better looking than me. Not that I care. Maybe I do care. I shouldn’t care, but I can’t help but wonder if Ethan is more attracted to her than he is to me. I wonder if that’s why he’s cheating. Probably. I’m sorry. I’m usually not this self-deprecating but I’m so angry and for some reason I just can’t stop talking.” You’re better looking than Ethan.” My comment takes him off guard. His expression is swallowed up in confusion because he thinks I’m hitting on him. That’s the last thing I’m doing right now. “That wasn’t a compliment. It was just a realization.” There’s something more in Graham’s expression. Something I haven’t noticed before. Concern, maybe? He pegs me with a serious stare. “Do not forgive him for this, Quinn.”

I clear my throat and try to hide my fear, even though the guy looks harmless. But I guess evil doesn’t have a telling exterior, so it’s hard to judge. “My fiancé lives here. He’s inside,” I lie. Their story takes the piece of your heart and after reading that you’ll never be the same person again. Graham and Quinn were not perfect, but who is? What matters is that there was always one person fighting for each other. Even when their future seemed bleak. Our marriage didn’t collapse. It didn’t suddenly fall apart. It’s been a much slower process. It’s been dwindling, if you will. I’m not even sure who is most at fault.” I am not in anyway justifying infidelity, because even in this case it was hard for me to get over. But what let me get over it was the fact that even the book didn't justify it. Sure, Quinn may not blame him - but the author opens up account for US to blame him. Additionally, for Graham to blame him. Through the love we see that he shines on Quinn is beautiful and magical - until it's not. But that's life. Cheating happens in life, but justifying never should.Colleen Hoover is one of my favorite authors. Not many can evoke the kind of emotion she does with each and every book. All Your Perfects may be her most emotional one yet, at least for me it was.

The Now-chapters focus on the current state of Graham’s and Quinn’s marriage and are basically Quinn hating herself for being infertile. And this is where we have a problem. Colleen Hoover knows how to write heavy stories, from It Ends with Us to Verity to Slammed and now All Your Perfects …What can I say, she’s a master of her craft. Quinn and Graham’s perfect love is threatened by their imperfect marriage. The memories, mistakes, and secrets that they have built up over the years are now tearing them apart. The one thing that could save them might also be the very thing that pushes their marriage beyond the point of repair. I'm still crying. I finished this book at 4:06 in the morning and I'm still sitting here re-reading some of the paragraphs and sobbing to myself. I don't think I have ever not regretted reading a book like this one. (Sorry for the double negative, it's one of those days, bear with me) All your perfects”, is told in alternating past and present chapters. In the past, you’ll learn about how Quinn and Graham meet when their worlds are crumbling apart, fall in love, and deciding to build a future together. In the present, you’ll learn about how Quinn and Graham are struggling to hold on to their happily ever after. They struggle to mend their relationship because they face a lot of challenges that threaten their broken marriage. In this story, you’ll learn that there is no manual on how to fix a marriage or make it perfect. And it’s up to Quinn and Graham to choose whether they’ll overcome or succumb to the challenges. Whether they’ll step out of the constraints of the norm and be willing to forge a new path. Either together or alone.

Toys

Graham and I both stand up. Neither of us look toward Ethan’s apartment. Graham has a tight grip on my hand as he leads me to the elevator. Colleen Hoover never fails to amaze me. Her stories always leave me at a loss for words and All Your Perfects did not disappoint. Before I jump into the review, I do have to admit something. All Your Perfects has been on my ‘to-be-read’ shelf for two years now. If a scientist could figure out how to align the heart with the brain, there would be very little agony left in the world." well, you think i would have learned my lesson by now and decided to take better care of myself mentally and emotionally. but here i am, reading another CoHo book that has, yet again, broken me. immediately after finishing this, i ate half my weight in mint chocolate ice cream and cried through one and a half boxes of tissues. this is the inevitable result of a CoHo book, ladies and gentlemen. Graham has brought the box containing their letters with him. Even though Graham is angry that their relationship has crumbled to the point that they are opening the box early, Quinn reads the letters Graham has written to her. He added letters explaining things she never really wanted to hear. In these letters, Graham tells Quinn how devastated he was for her that she was never able to become pregnant. He explains how he ached for her when people asked insensitive questions about when they were going to have a child. Graham tells Quinn that he had an affair because he had reached a point where he believed he would never be enough for Quinn if they were unable to have a child.

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