I'm Ok, You're Ok: A Practical Approach to Human Psychology

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The way a company and its supplier or service provider interact will speak volumes about their long-term prospects for success.

As a book that helped me better understand the world, myself and actively helped shed some parental baggage and improve, well… I aam a bit of cheerleader. And that’s how it is for most models: reality is too complex to fit it all into one simplified model. Harris introduces a diagrammatic representation of two classes of communication between individuals: complementary transactions, which can continue indefinitely, and crossed transactions, which cause a cessation of communication (and frequently an argument). Harris suggests that crossed transactions are problematic because they "hook" the Child ego state of one of the participants, resulting in negative feelings. Harris suggests that awareness of this possibility, through TA, can give people a choice about how they react when confronted with an interpersonal situation which makes them feel uncomfortable. Harris provides practical suggestions regarding how to stay in the Adult ego state, despite the provocation.Learning to be assertive takes time, self-control and confidence. Follow these five steps to develop your assertiveness skills: We also explore issues around self-confidence and assertiveness on the one-day Developing Personal Presence course. Share I’m Ok, You’re Ok – Assertiveness at work explained The final chapter of I'm OK, You're OK refers to social issues contemporary at the time of writing, including the Cold War, Vietnam war and the contemporary controversial research of individuals' response to authority conducted by psychologist Stanley Milgram. Harris applies TA to these issues and concludes his book with the hope that nations will soon gain the maturity to engage in Adult to Adult dialogue, rather than conducting diplomacy in the collective archaic ego states of Parent or Child, which he sees as causing war and disharmony. Ambivalent adults may find it difficult to leave their childhood behind. They may be easily flooded by memories and their feelings from childhood can often interfere with current relationships. They may also be still preoccupied by their old relationships. They find that others are reluctant to get as close as they would like. Their desire to merge completely with another person can sometimes frighten people away. They spend a lot of time worrying that their partner doesn’t really love them or won’t want to stay with them and are more likely to become co-dependent in relationships. They can be seen as self-absorbed, and may have an overwhelming fear of being abandoned. Being like this makes it harder to maintain relationships and when a relationship ends, it reinforces the belief that they’re not worthy of love. The thought of being alone is so scary for them that they may desperately try and find a new relationship when one ends. They may have over-regulated emotions and low self-confidence, and will often work below their ability level and feel scared about making decisions. They may appear to need endless support, advice and encouragement and may feel like they’re still a victim in life. There is considerable contradictory information on the internet regarding the publication date of I’m OK – You’re OK. Many sources cite 1967 which is incorrect. It was published in 1969. This is based upon these facts:

To me, this is extremely interesting, but also sounds like a possible instance of over-interpretation. In the popular television show ALF, season four, episode five ALF takes on the topic of TA with direct reference to OKness, and even says to Willie, "I'm OK, You're OK". The ‘I’m OK, You’re not OK’ person has been decided on within the second or third year of life. They tend to be angry, showing hostility, viewing others as incompetent and not to be trusted from a superior position, belittling them with competitiveness. Without much conscience, they view faults within situations are due to others, and not themselves. 'I’m not OK, You’re OK' It’s what George Thompson in Verbal Judo refers to when he says that the biggest skill of learning verbal judo is to non react to the emotional communication of others. Types of Transaction To the left is the handwriting of Harris. It comes from a first edition copy of I’m OK – You’re OK that Harris personally gave to Berne in advance of the publication. It reads:It’s interesting to talk to clients about this – which position do they think fits them best? The second one describes a situation where a person is inclined to distrust, dislike or negatively judge people they meet, often with very little cause. It’s a superior life position that they are simply in the habit of choosing. Injunctions or stoppers according to Berne (1972 p.139) are “the most important part of the script apparatus, and varies in intensity”, and defines it as “A prohibition or negative command from a parent”. This section does not cite any sources. Please help improve this section by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. ( October 2021) ( Learn how and when to remove this template message) Several decades have now passed since Harris wrote I'm OK, You're OK, so inevitably some of the cultural references which might have seemed fresh and relevant when the book was newly published may now seem dated and less accessible to contemporary readers who do not remember the 1960s. At several points the book also takes a US-centric view of the world and, with the benefit of hindsight, Harris' optimistic projection of TA as a near-universal panacea has not been realised in practice.

Confession without change is a game. This is true whether in a sanctuary, a pastor’s study, or a psychiatrist’s office.” Who would enjoy this book? In the comedy Airplane II: The Sequel, the case carried by the bomber also contains a copy of "I'm Alright, You're Alright".This section does not cite any sources. Please help improve this section by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed.

Transaction analysis postulate there are three distinguishable modes within each one of us that we use to process information and respond to the stimuli around. After a long career with the Navy, Harris entered private practice in Sacramento, California in 1956. Around this time, Dr. Eric Berne of Carmel was getting ready to publish his new theory on Transactional Analysis. Dr. Harris went on to study with Dr. Berne, becoming a new breed of psychiatrists embracing the techniques of Transactional Analysis. After the phenomenal success of Berne’s Games People Play in 1964, Harris published I’m OK – You’re OK in 1969, his guide to Transactional Analysis based upon the work of Dr. Eric Berne. I’m OK – You’re OK may make it up there right next to the Holy Bible or maybe even The Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook” Life Magazine. Interesting Review of I’m OK – You’re OK These indirect expressions of hostility make those around us feel very uncomfortable. Over time we will be seen as unreasonable and unprofessional. As problems and issues aren’t solved, our resentment and feelings of powerlessness can grow.The overall communication sounds adult, but secondary communication here is in the word hide, which comes from the parent. Thomas Harris goes on to explain what are the cues of parents and children. The parent looks judgmental and the child looks at the parent’s mercy.