Get Divorced, Be Happy: How becoming single turned out to be my happily ever after

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I became unexpectedly separated ten months ago and I was looking for a book that was positive in tone and that would fill me with hope and appreciation for the things I've gained. This book tried really hard to be it but it didn't quite get there for me. Yeah, of course. But only if I knew that person well enough and was sure this was the person I want to spend my future with. Helen’s divorced due to infidelity, and she explains how she had a new lease on life when she started again. She wakes up every morning loving how she looks and feels. “Harnessing life and starting over again was a blessing”, she said. Helen had a sense of lightness, choosing her path every morning. She wishes everyone, regardless of their relationship status, had that energising feeling of self-worth. At that moment I needed strength and support from my family and friends.I’d tell my past self: “You go girl! It might seem impossible at the moment but it gets better! You’ll get through this!” A study showed that unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married.

Get Divorced, Be Happy - Google Books Get Divorced, Be Happy - Google Books

Please read the signs as soon as possible, and literally speak to anyone about it. Your family, friends, therapist, or even your colleagues. I thought I could do it on my own, and I let myself wallow in self-pity and disdain, and I let my abuser take over. I’d been completely blindsided, and had lost all hope. When I did finally tell someone, it was like a wave of relief came washing over me, and I finally felt all my emotional bondage being cut off – I was free, and I was safe. If you are facing or contemplating divorce, you are probably wondering whether you’ll be happier when it is done. When asking if you will be happier after divorce, there are several things to consider. I was married to someone I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be with. But there I was and a year later I ended up pregnant. Again, I definitely wasn’t ready for this, not at all. But it was mental pressure from him and his family to have children. I was too afraid to say no again. We ended up having a beautiful baby boy who was born prematurely at 30 weeks, 2.5 months before his due date. It was very difficult seeing your 1.4kg baby in the hospital inside the incubator connected to all these wires but we got through it and we have a healthy, 2-year-old, beautiful and clever boy. The singer’s experience isn’t unique but due to the stigma and social commentary that often surrounds divorcing at a young age, it felt refreshing for her to be telling that story publicly having made it through the other side; committing both her pain and healing to record in an album millions of women could blast along country lanes, throwing their legal paperwork out the window for years to come.

Following years of campaigns to remove the need to ‘blame’ one of the parties seeking Divorce by citing adultery or unreasonable behaviour, the Government has finally responded to calls to reform divorce law. Perhaps one day, when his kids are grown up, we might be able to have another shot at happiness. I feel guilty every day for what I did. I realise now we had a brilliant (not perfect, but brilliant) marriage. From the messiness that comes with untangling two lives, splitting assets, facing the dissolution of mutual friendship groups and being ‘too young to be divorced but too old to be single’ in the eyes of society, we speak to women about the highs and lows of starting over and the lessons they learnt when they decided to reclaim their happiness.

Get Divorced and Be Happy With Helen Thorn E34 How To Get Divorced and Be Happy With Helen Thorn E34

For women in their 20s and 30s – when the rest of the friendship group are often single, in a relationship or newlywed – leaving their marriage can be a particularly isolating time. The judgement and self-stigma that comes with being the divorced one is unsurprisingly difficult to navigate.Divorce alone will not solve mental-health issues such as depression or self-esteem. You’ll need to work on how you got into this predicament, why you chose this spouse, what you did wrong, and what you can learn about yourself in self-reflection that will improve your next relationships. I felt alone in my marriage. My ex was controlling and I often felt browbeaten into doing things I didn’t want to. He was also very prescriptive of how I should look and dress etc. Eventually, I went to 18 months of couple counselling to try to save my marriage (I had two young kids) but it wasn’t enough. To say these two days are a joy is not an exaggeration; I love them. I can have anyone over or sit and stuff myself with chips and cheese all night; I can have last minute sleep overs at friends house; I can masturbate for three hours. I can read a book or chat on the phone or stare at a wall. Perhaps best of all, there is nobody observing me doing any of these thing; no judgements; no points deducted or scored.”