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Can You See Me?: A powerful story of autism, empathy and kindness

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Imagine, every day having a ball of anxiety and fear knotted inside you. Now try learning algebra with all that going on." This may be the most annoying book I've ever read! The idea of featuring autistic characters in fiction is a good one, and I think it's a great idea to help people understand what it's like to live with autism. But in spite of being based on the real life experience of a girl with autism, it doesn't ring true. The story is too didactic, and Tally's "Top Tips" for dealing with someone with autism sound like something an adult would say, not a middle school girl. I can only speak from my own experience, and I am not making any commentary about autism itself, but I think there is a risk to reading a book like this and assuming that just because someone presents with a certain emotional, physical, or mental symptom means that it is part of their identity. Tally talks about how offensive it is when people talk about wanting to "cure" autism, and I completely understand why autism itself is part of her identity, but some of her behavioral, psychic, and sensitivity issues could at least hypothetically be eased. Based on my life experience, I have a hard time with the message that someone has to accept everything about their condition as inevitable and unchanging.

LIBBY: I discovered it by writing a short story, which then went viral on social media! I loved knowing my words were impacting on people so much. I also like being able to pour my real feelings out onto paper. It helps me understand myself more. When Libby’s mum shared a short piece of Libby’s writing online it soon went viral, with tens of thousands of people saying that Libby’s writing helped them understand autism for the first time Tally's autism means there are things that bother her even though she wishes they didn't. It means that some people misunderstand , her and feel frustrated by her. Inspired by young coauthor Libby Scott’s own experiences with autism, this is an honest and moving middle-school story of friends, family, and finding one’s place. Facing the pressures of maintaining her optimal academic grades whilst aiming to be the lead of the school play, Tally struggles to navigate Year Six. Tally’s subsequent inability to comprehend her emotions catalyses a confession from her parents Jennifer and Kevin: she has been given a diagnosis of ASD.

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Endearing, insightful and warmly uplifting, Can You See Me? is a story of autism, empathy and kindness that will touch readers of all ages. However, on the negative side, it bothered me that her mother was so dismissive of Tally's explosions, seeing them as something that the family had to endure. Again, I'm not autistic, and I know that my experience is different, but the message of "this is just who Tally is," as accepting as it seems, can be a cop out from finding solutions to someone's misery. In my experience, discovering food and chemical sensitivities and changing my exposures changed my life, and I would hate for parents or children who are dealing with behavior issues like mine to read this and think that it's a static, unchanging issue that can't be mitigated or resolved.

I wanted to see how Tally copes with autism and really it doesn't show much of that. But autism shows up when horrible events happen. It's quite a sweet book, my English class agree. We all read it together, went through what might happen and how Tally felt. Really, that was fun. The book was interesting but I think they should have put someone else's point of view in it, like wonder. Cause Tally became a bit annoying. Written in collaboration with young blogger Libby, who is herself autistic, this is a powerful and highly relatable story about fitting in and being yourself. Tally's diary entries give an authentic insight into one girl's perspective of being autistic, and smashing a host of common assumptions and stereotypes about autism as we see Tally’s potent sense of humour and her deep empathy. Most powerful of all is Tally’s ultimate realisation that autism is not something that needs to be hidden. Enter Rupert, the neighbor's three-legged dog, who is staying with the family (against her mother’s wishes) while his owner is in the hospital. The dog growls and snaps at people and Tally’s mother deems Rupert dangerous and requires for him to wear a muzzle. And though her mother won’t let her anywhere close to Rupert, Tally immediately bonds with the dog. Tally knows that Rupert is just scared of his new surroundings and new people. “The only thing that Rupert has done wrong is be different. And she knows exactly how it feels to have nobody understand you. She knows how much it hurts to be left outside in the dark, all on your own." The book's descriptions of her feelings, and her explanations for things that don't make sense to other people, are near-perfect. I can relate so much to feeling that constant sense of rage and explosion, and being so frustrated with people who thought that I was choosing my bad behavior, wanted to be miserable all the time, and enjoyed making life a living hell for me and everyone else in my family. Tally clearly explains to the reader the state that she gets in, showing that she is not acting out for selfish reasons, but is suffering tremendously and cannot contain herself. It is early days but I really think this book is going to change a lot about how I think about things and how I support my daughter.

Reviews

LIBBY: My Mum (she made me say that!) Really strong females inspire me, like Taylor Swift, Little Mix, Rebel Wilson, and of course, Greta Thunberg. Ways to be Me’ is recommended to all year groups within Key Stage Two, as themes of empathy and gradual transformation dominate this novel. Both themes are mirrored through her friendship with Miles, whose ASD varies. Their interactions aid ongoing understanding of Tally’s diagnosis and thus steadily becoming comfortable within herself. Other themes of socialisation and fitting in with her peers absolutely apply to all Key Stage Two children. Nevertheless, this novel reinforces that not all children handle situations similarly. But at home, things aren't going so well. Mum and Dad have been making Tally feel pressured and upset, and Tally wishes things didn't bother her so much - but they do, and sometimes she feels so misunderstood and frustrated, she could explode.

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