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If He Had Been with Me: The Tiktok Sensation

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Soon, prom comes and they all rejoice. Then, after the stress of exams, they finally graduate. A few days later, Jamie says he’s coming over, and Autumn believes it’s about the promise they made to sleep together. But as he comes, it’s not what he was here for. So overall, this was a pretty good book. There were some flaws and things that could have been better, but I liked it. I just wish Autumn had been a better main character (I feel like I'm being a little judgmental on her honestly, but oh well. If I said I liked her I'd be lying and no one likes a liar).

Autumn and Finn’s] romance is Shakespeare-worthy in its tragic dimension. Autumn’s reflections on love’s possibilities and near-misses will surely resonate with the unsettled teen soul, and readers will get exactly what they came for, and then some." — The Bulletin of the Center for Children's Books I’ve gotten over my initial anger over how the book ended. And I still stand by the fact that there are some parts of this book you’re likely to skim over. Autumn has her boyfriend Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around.

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I would rate the majority of the book as a 4 star read. I loved following Autumn’s teenage life, friends, family and boyfriends. Sadly, I would have to give the ending a 1 star rating. If you’re worried about giving this book a try because of the heart breaking story please don’t because Nowlin’s gorgeous prose is not one to be missed. Her writing was littered with several beautiful passages and was delicate yet purposeful with each word puncturing a hole in my heart. Despite being a complete mess a few days afterwards and constantly asking myself how and why Nowlin would do this to me. I am sure that He Had Been With Me will remain as one of my favourites reads for a long time to come. Autumn used to be friends with her first door neighbor, Finn but after middle school she becomes very popular and they grow apart. Now in high school, Autumn is a part of a gang who are different from other students. They dress differently, listen to cool music, change their hair colors, well you get the picture. Finn is hangin with the popular crowd-cheerleaders and football players and they ignore each other all the time except it's hard since their mothers are really close friends and they even eat together.

But come August, things will change forever. And as time passes, Autumn will be forced to confront how else life might have been different if they had never parted ways... Though I feel bad for saying this, Autumn was really annoying at times. I hated her "not like other girls" and "quirky" (that word makes me cringe every time I see it 🙄) attitude, and also how she just kept acting so weird around Jamie. Not that I care about Jamie. I realize that she was going through stuff and I probably shouldn't hate her for all this, but I can't help it, if someone annoys me, I will say it (obviously not in person, I hate talking to people and am way too introverted to ever tell someone they're annoying)This book didn't feel like another life, it felt like an alternate universe of my own. Not because I had a boyfriend I didn't appreciate, or a boy that I loved and didn't deserve. Because I asked the same questions, showered until I was numb, craved books because I couldn't stand my own actions in a blurry and unforgiving world, and feared I was on the path to being trapped in my own mind like my couch-ridden mother.

Alright. I’m going to start with the writing, the characters, and the plot before getting into specifics about what I liked about the story and disliked. They were arguing. No one ever says what they were arguing about. It is, in other people's opinions, not important to the story. What they do not know is that there is another story. The story lurking underneath and in between the facts of the one they can see. What they do not know, the cause of the argument, is crucial to the story of me.I don’t why I’m apologizing for not liking a book but I feel the need to because this book came highly recommended to me. But alas, it was a miss and I’m still sad about it.

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