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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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Allow yourself to be as judgmental and Petty as you really feel. Don't try to be spiritual or kind as The Peddler we can be when we're writing the more likely it is will benefit from the work. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/02/scientists-find-a-few-surprises-in-their-study-of-love/

While Byron Katie's book has some elements that would be helpful if used correctly, I'm concerned that too much of her approach would, in actuality, be damaging. I'm sure the thousands of people who have experienced life-changing events because of The Work will disagree with me and let me know just where I'm not understanding her approach, but there are other, much better and less problematic sources (go read something by the Dalai Lama, for example) for the good elements in Byron Katie's book.

I was also disgusted by her nonsense that everyone's truth is equal. That is patently untrue. A member of the Taliban might determine what truth is for him, but most reasonable people will determine his truth is not equal to that of the most of the rest of the world. But as I got further into the book, and really started to grasp exactly what she was trying to say, and trying to get people to implement in their lives.. The simplicity of her steps, which breed deep insight in our own perceptions, and preconcieved notions.. that we may not necessarily be consciously aware of.. I found this book immensely helpful. You might, for example, always try to look your best. Or maybe you try to hide what you believe are flaws that might turn off your partner. Communicate. Everyone's needs are different. The best way to ensure that your needs and your loved one's needs are met is to talk about them. Helping another person feel loved involves communicating that love to them through words and deeds.Some ways to do this include showing that you care, making them feel special, telling them they are loved, and doing things for them.

This is all pretty normal. It’s also common, however, for people in love to briefly “forget” about their friends. Sorokowski P, Sorokowska A, Karwowski M, et al. Universality of the triangular theory of love: adaptation and psychometric properties of the triangular love scale in 25 countries. J Sex Res. 2021;58(1):106-115. doi:10.1080/00224499.2020.1787318 There will always be a certain amount of light that gets around your sunnies – no pair of sunnies is going to be completely airtight. So it is important to wear a hat as well.” Loving someone requires you to see them wholly and accept all their parts, just as they see and accept all of you. Minor flaws often don’t really matter over the long term. In 2003, Byron Katie first introduced the world to The Work with the publication of Loving What Is. Nearly twenty years later, Loving What Is continues to inspire people all over the world to do The Work; to listen to the answers they find inside themselves; and to open their minds to profound, spacious, and life-transforming insights. The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light.

Welcome to The Work

You don’t want to spend the last 10 years of your life in the dark; you don’t want to spend the last 20 years of your life not being able to read,” Walsh says. “It’s more important than ever that we look after our eyes, because we’re living longer.” He should stop blaming you? Is that true? Now you want to control his thinking, even who he should blame? You want to take over your son's whole mind. You know what's best for him. You know what he should be thinking. Excuse me Christopher. Don't think unless I've told you what to think, don't think until I want you to. And then let's work on your wife. And by the way I love you.

Who would I be without the thought? (Find the worksheets and guidelines at www.thework.com; see below for a demonstration.) For example, let’s say you have an assignment for class and your partner hasn’tsent you his slights the night before it’s due. You might think: “Peter is really unreliable. How can he do this to me?” The questions are: 1. Is what you’re thinking true? 2. Can you be absolutely sure it’s true? 3. How does it make you feel? 4. What would you feel like if you didn’t feel like this?The author pretty much tells people to get over things. Everything is in your head. Some of that advice could be valuable, but her delivery makes no sense whatsoever and is full of victim shaming. She claims things like "there's no such thing as verbal abuse" and asks questions like "can you absolutely be sure that your dad doesn't love you?" after a victim describes a physically abusive father. She blames a victim of sexual abuse by a stepfather for "assuming" that the victim's mom knew what was going on. When the victim turns around and says other people had described the abuse, the author just claims that nothing is for certain. With that mentality, there really is no point in living. We should all be on controlled states of heroin use so we could just live our lives loving what is. Byron Katie's recommendation for the world would mean no goals, no reasons, just what is. It’s really, really important to put sunscreen on the eyelids,” Walsh says. “Many people put sunscreen all over their face, and don’t do it on their eyelids, which is not funny, but it does look funny, because they end up looking like a reverse panda – red eyes. But that skin is really delicate. And a lot of skin cancer is happening around the eye area. So it’s important to protect that.”

This is common when you’re in love. And while it’s certainly healthy to spend some time away from each other, that doesn’t mean you enjoy doing so.

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As other readers have stated, this book was really hard to review. I didn't feel that the author was truly honest, for some reason. She presents herself as completely altruistic, but the dynasty that she is building through "the Work" doesn't seem to support that hypothesis. She comes off as a bit of a New Age nut, and the book is a little silly in parts. True, The Work is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage to face reality without telling a story that things should be different. But this is a strategy for learning to love what you get, whether it’s what you wanted or what you thought you really didn’t want. Ultimately, it means living in a state of love — a lot more of the time.

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