How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7

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Instead of saying, “you spilled the milk” you can say “I really don’t like it when milk is spelt”. Instead of being accusatory towards the other person with “You”, you’re saying “I” have a problem with that this technique. This technique is universally effective wherever people are involved. Try it with your kids. Like most other discipline books, this one says no to time outs. Parents can put themselves in time out (122), or sit in time out with their child with the parent’s arm around the child comfortingly (123). The latter rewards the child’s bad behavior with love and attention from the parent.

If there is a dispute over who should have control over the remote, for example, don’t make the dispute something you can belittle because it’s important to the child. Make a list to help kids stay on task and not get distracted (190). Draw pictures on the list for those who can’t read. I feel like shouting from the rooftops! “I’VE FOUND IT! I’VE FINALLY FOUND IT! THE SURVIVAL GUIDE TO PARENTING!” I want to tell every single parent I know about this book. I want everyone’s lives to be easier because of this book. I want this book to help change parenting in people’s homes the way it did for mine. I want others to feel the relief of FINALLY having some answers on what you should really do!Instead of thinking, “How can I control this child?” we can think of our child as being on the same team and invite his help and participation.” Punishments and rewards don’t always work as well as we think. I also liked how the author points out that children are human and are often given commands all day long. The flesh does not like to be commanded all the time, and although I believe children need to learn to obey a parent’s commands, sometimes being playful can make giving a command much more fun. We do these things automatically—protect against sad emotions, dismiss what we see as trivial emotions, and discourage angry emotions. We don’t want to reinforce negative feelings.”

Contrived consequences like time-outs and grounding can modify behavior in the short term, but they don’t teach a kid much because you don’t get any buy-in from the kid. It’s a top-down system that demoralizes when what you really want is to enlighten and instruct. I agree that punishments are not helpful for children, however the author leaves out discipline entirely. The younger the child, the shorter and simpler your directives should be. Consider your child’s level of understanding. For example, a common error parents make is asking a three-year-old, “Why did you do that?” Most adults can’t always answer that question about their behavior. Try instead, “Let’s talk about what you did.” 13. When You Talk to Kids, Speak Socially Correct

How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen 4-week live online workshop, for parents of kids ages 2 to 7 (led by Julie King) Describe your child’s progress – Explain the process he/she completed when he/she accomplished a goal like sounding out each letter and putting them together to complete an entire sentence! The most powerful tool you can wield is their sense of connection to you. The fact that you are willing to consider their feelings and solicit their opinions will keep their hearts and minds open to your feelings and opinions.” It can be hard to walk into a new house filled with relatives. Lots of people want to say hello to you. That can feel scary.” Practical Solutions for Everyday This book is a treasure trove of practical solutions for the everyday challenges parents face. From handling tantrums to navigating bedtime battles, it provides actionable strategies that can be applied immediately, making family life smoother and more harmonious.

Instead of giving in to your child’s spur of the moment requests for material possessions, write the item down on a wishlist instead to POSSIBLY buy later (20-21). And the reason why this is good advice is because it’s NOT giving the kid what they want, it’s putting off what they want to some unknown date that may never come. However this book is full of practical ways to make the everyday mundane things for fun for your child, and therefore you. And also has chapters on the little things that seem to be a battle with toddlers. (For example eating, fighting with sibling, getting in car seat when running late.)This book is a practical guide that helps parents and caregivers communicate effectively with their little kids. It's filled with strategies and techniques for understanding children's emotions, dealing with challenging situations, and nurturing strong parent-child bonds. It covers a wide range of topics, from managing tantrums to promoting independence, all designed to make family life more harmonious and enjoyable. Kids need affirmation to build a healthy degree of self-esteem but don’t overdo it or they could wind up feeling like the world owes them everything they want. There’s a spectrum that starts at “confident” and ends at “entitled” — aim for the former.

One thing I realized from reading this book is how many commands we issue to our son on a daily basis. As an experiment, I tried not using a single command for a day or two. I slipped up here and there, but overall I found that it really encouraged new, more respectful ways for me to communicate with my son. And what I learned is this: Commands don't work! I enjoyed the chapter on giving praise, and learned how descriptive praise is best, and sometimes a general “you did great” when they did not is a little anxiety inducing. Think to yourself, the next time I buy a chocolate cake, I’ll put it out of sight until it’s time for dessert. For over 35 years, parents have turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk for its respectful and effective solutions to the unending challenges of raising children. Now, in response to growing demand, Adele's daughter, Joanna Faber, along with Julie King, tailor How to Talk's powerful communication skills to children ages two to seven. It is kind of stunning how much our kids really do want to emulate us. And how much they focus on our overall strategy. It’s a tired old phrase but true: children will do as you do, not as you say.”The authors are not pretending to give you a 100% working examples, since all kids are different this would be impossible, but rather many-many good techniques and advises.