Best Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman Jokes (Mini-ha-ha Books)

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A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop." An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman" is the opening line of a category of joke cycle popular in Ireland and the United Kingdom. The nationalities involved may vary, though they are usually restricted to those within Ireland and the UK, and the number of people involved is usually three or sometimes four. In Ireland, the characters are sometimes called "Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman, and Paddy Scotsman". Depending on who is telling the joke, one nationality fares well and the other nationalities fare poorly according to national stereotypes. For example, in England the punchline is usually based around the Irishman being stupid, the Scotsman being mean or miserly, and the Englishman being posh (or a snob but ultimately not the butt of the joke), whereas in Scotland and Ireland, the Englishman will typically be the butt of the joke. Sometimes, when the joke requires four people, a Welshman is brought in. The Englishman says “You know, this is a great pub. The barman looks after me; every 4th pint is on the house. Now that’s hospitality.” Here is a list of funny paddy the irishman jokes and even better paddy the irishman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

The Welshman again replied, 'You're very sharp, you don't say!' and calmly resumed drinking his beer. However, the Irish have managed to take this slur and turn it into jokes, such as what we have outlined below, to take some laughter from the pejorative term, and to show the Irish don’t take themselves too seriously! An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman took their wives to play a round of golf… The Englishman’s wife stepped up to the tee first and as she bent over to place her ball, a sudden gust of wind blew up her skirt, revealing she wasn't wearing any panties. There is also the phrase ‘having a paddy’, which suggests that Irish people are prone to tantrums and outbursts of uncontrollable anger. An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

An Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman enter a brand new bar. The Englishman and Scotsman loved it, the Irishman was blown away.

regional variations (such as "a Cretan, a Cypriot, and a Pontian..."). Here, Pontians are always the punchline of the joke, being portrayed as stupid and thus taking on a role similar to that of the Irishman in the UK variant. combination of English, Irish, Scottish or Welshmen. Entertaining Joke About An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman To their surprise, he walks right out the door, sidles up to the first person he sees, and asks, ‘I say you wouldn’t happen to have a light, would ya?’ Irish joke 4: Are you walking or driving to Cork? in Chile as "a Chilean, a Peruvian and an Argentinian", with the Peruvian being the butt of the joke. Although it's also common for the joke to involve a Bolivian instead of an Argentinian. The joke typically starts with the home or favoured nationality and ends with the nationality and associated stereotype against which the joke is made. For example, in England, the joke begins "An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman..." whereas in Ireland it begins "Paddy Irishman, Paddy Englishman, and Paddy Scotsman".

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An Englishman and an Irishman are in the hospital room in adjacent beds. The Englishman looks over at the Irishman and peels away his oxygen mask from his face. "I'm English." Said the Englishman. The Irishman also takes away his oxygen mask and gasps, "Irish." The Englishman slowly adds, "My name's David." "Danny." Replies the Irishman. "Cancer." Says the Englishman pointing to his chest. Danny lifts away his oxygen mask replies, "Sagittarius." Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that me wife had us join that Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking. The man took the chainsaw and switched it on. “What’s that noise?” said Paddy. 3. Paddy and the bike – better safe than sorry Credit: pixabay.com / AndersAndersen Scotsman in a bar A Scotsman walks in to a bar there would have been a Welshman, an Englishman and 2 Irishman but they all got into the Euros. Three Paddies, one leprechaun – that’s not exactly what he was hoping to find Credit: commons.wikimedia.org