Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

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Boundary-setting is just one form of self-care. People with codependent tendencies can also benefit from learning to prioritize their self-care, needs, and happiness before taking care of others (Beattie, 2008). Codependent people are often in relationships with individuals who have different types of addictions – whether that be substance abuse, gambling issues, or other bad habits they can’t seem to shake. She tries to educate the reader as much as she can about codependency. She helps us understand what it is and remove it from its root and stem. It tries to make us realize how we drift away from our issues due to the problems that people around us have to face. This makes us realize how the drama in our lives increases due to the traumas faced by the other one. The book also offers tools readers can use to move past the pain and hurt of their early lives so that they can form healthier relationships with others as adults.

She also emphasizes several times throughout her book about finding your own way towards recovery without focusing too much energy on what others say you should do when trying to overcome addiction. Melissa is a visionary and empathetic leader in the field of peer support and recovery. Nationally Certified as a Peer Recovery Support Specialist by the Maryland Addiction and Behavioral-health Professionals Certification board, Melissa’s journey has been defined by her unwavering commitment to helping others find their path to recovery. Armed with credentials as a Registered Peer Supervisor, Certified Peer Recovery Specialist, and Alcohol and Drug Trainee she has earned her place as a guiding light for individuals seeking hope and solace. Melissa’s illustrious journey includes a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Maryland, College Park, while she currently works diligently towards her Master of Social Work (MSW) degree at Walden University. Melissa’s personal experiences with addiction and mental health struggles instilled within her a profound passion for supporting others on their recovery journey. Her unwavering commitment to peer support, coupled with her own lived experience, fuels her drive to make a meaningful impact in the lives of those facing similar challenges. This test comprises 60 true-or-false questions. A score below 20 is little need for concern, a score of 21 – 30 shows a moderate need for concern, a score of 31 – 45 indicates moderate-to-severe need for concern, and a score over 46 indicates a severe need for concern. Are You in a Codependent Relationship? Whitfield’s Out of the FOG is a good starting point for those seeking insight into overcoming codependency issues. Elisabeth Menter said in her book that she knew the effects of codependency because she was “raised by an alcoholic father alongside her mum, who was neurotic.” She based her writing on all that worked for her in the past.This book is written by Melody Beattie. As you can see from the above book too, Melody is one of the most loved American authors that specialize in inspirational work. Even in this book, the author takes us through a lot of information based on codependency. She tries to make the reader analyze what codependency really is. It helps the reader figure out how they can break the wheel of codependency and be free again. Robert Holden’s The Art of Changing offers great holistic advice for individuals seeking out more fulfillment by moving forward. It’s commonly linked with addiction, as codependency often exists in relationships where one partner is involved in alcohol or substance abuse. The codependent partner feels responsible for the care of the other and often suppresses their own needs for their partner. As a result, they suffer emotionally and mentally, as they put themselves second.

Beattie’s book can be deeply helpful and insightful, but note that it focuses on a Christian message and context. As such, non-Christian readers may not feel as connected or involved with her work. Still, it is entirely possible to read Beattie’s work from a secular point of view and gain insight that you may not have gained otherwise. This is usually because of the parent not having had their own developmental needs met while they were growing up. This is another wonderfully insightful and inspirational book from Melody Beattie. Beattie empowers the reader to take positive action in The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency. It can take several years for some people, especially if this is something that may have developed over the course of multiple relationships. Annette Jolin’s Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind is another excellent resource for those struggling to find better ways of coping with addiction or other forms of self-destructive behavior.The book explains the how’s and why’s of codependent relationships in a way that is easy to understand and digest. She offers case studies, personal stories, personal reflections, and exercises and self tests throughout the book so that you, the reader, can fully engage with the learning process. Melody Beattie is the author of one of the best codependency books, “The Language of Letting Go.” It is a daily meditation guide published to support those who battle codependency, thereby helping them regulate their behaviors.

While not a substitute for clinical diagnosis, it can be a good starting point. 2. Shifting Codependency Patterns

The book explains how our childhood experiences can have long-lasting effects on our ability to form healthy relationships with others as adults. In today’s complex world, we understand that relationships are an essential part of life, and in most cases, our everyday existence tends to revolve around it. Relationships can make us happy, fulfilled and as well give us a sense of belonging.