Too Much: the hilarious, heartfelt memoir

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Too Much by Tom Allen is the wonderfully funny and moving new book for 2022 by one of Britain's most charming comedians. The Apprentice: You’re Fired! presenter added that a group of rugby players who were in the audience took him out in the city afterwards and got him “absolutely hammered” to help him get over it. He added: “Belfast was usually very nice to me, but every time I did a gig there I would end up arriving at the wrong airport — Belfast International. My dad’s funeral had a reassuring sense of ritual, but all high ceremony is camp. I’ve always quite fancied myself as a vicar: I like the outfits, you get a free house, there’s a lot of parading up and down aisles. In a way, church is like Drag Race. The woman looked out at the rest of the room with her arms folded, then she turned around to face me, looking furious (and said), ‘My son is worth 10 of you’.

Happily settled in a new relationship and with a dream house of his own, comedian Tom Allen had finally moved on from the arrested development of millennial life and could at last call himself an adult. She must have thought I was not worthy of standing up on stage when her son wasn’t on stage, who was 10 times better than me. Writing my first book, No Shame, I tried to be as honest and vulnerable as I could. I found that the more you talk about being an outsider or feeling different, you realise everybody’s an outsider in some way. In a world of social media filters, it’s refreshing to strip that away. Honesty seemed to work, so even though it was a seismic change that I went through with losing my dad – and also getting a boyfriend and finally moving out of my parents’ house – I decided to write about it in a similar way.I decided to ask her why she had done that. (I said), ‘You all right there? I don’t think you’re going to get a very good view if you’re facing the wrong way’. Your new book is inspired by your father’s death last year. Were you hesitant about being so honest? The idea of “too much” takes on several meanings. “Dad and I were very different and at times I worried I could be too much for him,” Allen begins. “For example, I was brought up to resist any unnecessary dramatics. For my parents, this was an uphill struggle.” Elsewhere, it feels “too much” to ask straight friends to go with him to a gay bar. He worries that “if I started living my life too much, there would be a price to pay”. No favour was ever “too much” for his dad. His loss is “too much to understand”.

Tom (39) explained: “The gig I did was run by the nicest family. It’s been running for years in a high-ceilinged room, a bit like a church with a high stage to match, so high that you feel like you are on a tightrope. Comedian Tom Allen, 39, grew up in Bromley and trained with the National Youth theatre. He started standup aged 22, winning So You Think You’re Funny and the BBC New Comedy award in the same year. He regularly appears on TV series including The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice, and as a host on The Apprentice: You’re Fired and Cooking With the Stars. He’s currently performing warm-up gigs before going on the road in February with a new standup tour, Completely. His second memoir, Too Much, is published this week.With moving honesty and wit, Tom writes beautifully about those days, weeks and months following his family’s loss, and about how bewildering the practicalities of life can be in the wake of an upheaval – those moments, really, when everything can start to feel a bit too much… I used to think: I’m going to live in a flat in somewhere trendy like Elephant and Castle, which is essentially just a roundabout, living the urban gay hipster dream. I’ll grow a moustache, it’ll be great. Eventually I realised that isn’t me at all, and found this house around the corner from my parents. Suburbia is where I’ve always felt most comfortable. In the hinterland between countryside and city, you have a bit more space to play. My dad grew vegetables and I thought that would be a healing thing to do. It’s very calming to watch how things grow. When I’m in the garden, everything is all right.

A group of rugby players were in that night. Very kindly, they took me out afterwards in Belfast. It was so much fun. At one point he even questioned the point of the series, saying: "You've been doing this cooking show for a long time and I don't know if anybody cares.

One night, I started my set and I was talking about the experience of being gay and living with my parents. In his new book Too Much, the comedian joked that he always gets confused by Northern Ireland’s two main airports. Join Tom Allen, star of stage and screen, as he discusses his hilarious, honest and touching new book Too Much, followed by the chance to ask questions in an audience Q&A.

Tom then started making retching noises while Matt introduced his "celebration of cauliflower" recipe, an ingredient he dislikes. SATURDAY Kitchen was even more chaotic than usual today when comedian Tom Allen appeared on the show. I’ve always loved the way Alan Bennett finds pathos in the mundane. David Sedaris also allows the incidental to take centre stage. He says: “Think about what you’re most ashamed of, then write about that.” It helped me lean into my own embarrassment.

With his hallmark honesty and wit, Tom writes beautifully about those days, weeks and months following loss, and about how bewildering the practicalities of life can be in the wake of an upheaval – those moments, really, when everything can start to feel a bit too much . . .