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Rinsed Top Dad Mens Fathers Day/Birthday/Christmas Dad Gift T-Shirt

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My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” What an odd way to begin a conversation. I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out. My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. "Sure," I said. "My door is always open." I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. "No," I said. "It's to look at." My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.”

If greeting card companies were to be believed, the best gifts for dads would all concern race cars, golf, beer or farts. More so than some of the more generic best gifts for men, it can be a seriously tough marketplace for finding presents for your dad, whether it's for his birthday or Christmas. Don't ask us why, but the older he gets, the harder it seems, too; just as selecting one of the best gifts for mum (one that feels neither too old nor too young) seems increasingly impossible. Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.I heard Sony’s coming out with a new console during the pandemic...It’s called the Plaguestation 5. With all these great punchlines behind us, you might also be interested in getting 9 essential tips when dating a single dad. Yes, it can be a daunting task, but as long as you keep a few things in mind, you should be just fine. When it comes to the cheesy dad jokes, don’t need to think too hard. Sometimes, it can feel like you’re trying to figure out some riddle only to realize that the answer is so cheesy! Cheesy punchlines will either make you groan in protest or go into giggles like it’s the funniest since sliced bread!

I like to spend my weekends playing chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming more difficult. You try finding exactly32 old guys. I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there. My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called. A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.” “Thanks Dad,” the son says. “That means a lot.” The father shakes his head and goes, “I was talking to your girlfriend.”He must like flying a lot, and he lives in Neverland! 20. Do you know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trum-pet. I asked my wife if I was the only one she’d been with. She said yes, all the rest had been nines and tens. With a little more time — and skill — these question-and-answer jokes require more audience interaction, but get a bigger payoff. They're good for car rides, waiting rooms, restaurants and any other place where audiences can't just walk away. Oceans like making waves. 13. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”

I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no, but I could perform Bohemian Rhapsody.If your dad deserves a bit of pampering, this skincare gift set from Kiehl's will hydrate and energise tired-looking skin with a selection of the brand's favourites. Any BBQ king would love to get his hands on this Gentlemen's Hardware Multi-Tool to elevate his grill game. And this personalised wallet is the perfect gift accompaniment. Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend. Here are 200 of our favorite dad jokes, separated into several distinct categories for any dad-amusing situation. Make your father laugh today. Punny Dad Jokes What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

It’s trouble enough to play with cheaters. Just imagine how terrifying it is to play with cheetahs! 19. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands! Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst. My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste." Most people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology. I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.” I tried to start a professional hide and seek team, but it didn't work out. Turns out, good players are hard to find. What did one monocle say to the other monocle? Let's get together and make a spectacle of ourselves. One-liners are the most versatile tool in the dad-joke toolbox, because the teller doesn't have to wait for any setup. Just drop these into a conversation whenever there's a dull moment. My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we “be positive,” but it’s just so hard without him.

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