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1000 Years of Annoying the French

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Stephen Clarke is the bestselling author of seven books of fiction and nonfiction that satirize the peculiarities of French culture. Like what the real Richard the Lionheart and his brother John were like, not just how they are depicted in the countless Robin Hood adaptations. For all the verbal attacks on the French and their history, author Stephen Clarke obviously holds the country and its people in high regard. I ask my colleagues to consider urgently whether we should not now eliminate de Gaulle as a political force.

On hindsight, this is a really good book to get yourself familiar with the history of these two countries, even if you're not from either of them. The chapters come with delightful sub-headings, such as "In India and Tahiti: France Gets Lost In Paradise: A selection of historical Frenchmen lose India, fail to notice Australia and give sexually transmitted diseases to Pacific islanders" and "How Britain Killed Off the Last French Royals: And the Victorians said, 'It was an accident, honest. Clarke covers the Battle of Hastings in 1066, The Hundred Years War, losing Canada on the Plains of Abraham (that was the French losing), Napoleon's defeat and every major event in Anglo-French relations. The list is long because it being tongue in cheek, “1,000 Years” depicts a France that has nothing to be proud of.

The English, by nature, always want to fight their neighbours for no reason, which is why they all die badly. The love is easy to explain – despite what we might say in public, we find each other irresistibly sexy. By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Who knew that modern champagne was invented in England, that Dom Perignon tried to remove the fizziness from the French stuff because the bottles kept exploding whereas the English went crazy for it and the fizzier the better? Though maybe this book would be even better served with a companion novel, depicting the same events but from a French point of view, while poking fun at the British.

Not surprisingly, these aspects are key in establishing the book's unique charm - un très bon read, overall! Although history is the opinion of whoever decides to interpret certain selected facts a certain way, it’s helpful to know that there are alternative ways to interpret facts so that the French don’t get the glory for many things they think they’re responsible for.His non-fiction books include Talk to the Snail, an insider's guide to understanding the French; How the French Won Waterloo (or Think They Did), an amused look at France's continuing obsession with Napoleon; Dirty Bertie: An English King Made in France, a biography of Edward VII; and 1000 Years of Annoying the French, which was a number one bestseller in Britain.

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