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The greatest mistake that parents commit is that they pay unequal attention to both. Either they end up paying more heed to the one kid who is a bit weak than the other. It may also occur otherwise. For some reason, the blue train has been deemed “better,” but it can’t be in two places at once. Your daughters have a choice: They can share the blue train or lose it. Calmly present this choice, and let them decide. If the fighting persists, simply take the blue train away. If they come to a reluctant truce, remind them that any continued fighting will result in all of the trains taking a “time out.” So who determines if sibling relationships have a good or bad influence on each other? The answer is the parents. Parents' proper guidance can help improve a siblings' relationship, while the wrong approach may hurt it.
Tell him with words how angry you are. Tell him, ‘I don’t want my skates used without my permission!’” Your 3-year-old son “accidentally” sits on his 2-month-old baby brother while he’s lying on a play mat. When you ask your older son what happened, he says, “I don’t like the baby! I don’t want him to live here anymore.” Ask the children to suggest some solutions. Have your children come up with some scenarios or resolutions that will be fair for both sides. Encourage them to put themselves in the other person’s shoes before making suggestions. bully and victim : our task would be two fold. Free the bully to be compassionate and free the victim to be strong. Children don't need to be treated equally, they need to be treated uniquely. (e.g. DON'T "I love you the same" say "You're the only "you" in the whole world." DON'T "here are the same number of grapes" say "do you want a few or a lot?")Most of the time, parents force one kid to become as good as the other kid. This induces the feeling of hatred in that child for his or her sibling and the fumes of this hatred are widespread. It continues to spoil their relations for lifetime.
The fact that the adults parents, while trying to help their children, got closure from their own hurts and emotional baggage, that developed years ago, from their experience with sibling rivalry.Major life changes. Moving into a new home? Expecting a new baby? Getting a divorce? These events are stressful for parents and kids alike, and many kids take their frustrations and anxieties out on the nearest target (i.e., their little sister). Today, in this article we are going to discuss the small and simple ways in which you as parents or guardians can eliminate the ill effects of sibling rivalry and instead help you raise siblings without rivalry Why wouldn't the presence of other siblings cast a shadow upon his life? They threaten everything that is essential to his well-being. The mere existence of an additional child or children in the family could signify LESS. Less time alone with parents. Less attention for hurts and disappointments. Less approval for accomplishments. And most frightening of all, the thought: "If Mom and Dad are showing all that love and concern and enthusiasm for my brother and sister, maybe they're worth more than me. And if they are worth more, that must mean that I'm worth less. And if I am worth less, then I'm in serious trouble.'' Keep things simple. Perhaps say, “Your brother is a part of our family, and we need to take care of the people in our family.” Remove your older child (or your baby) from the room until your 3-year-old is calm. Later, you may want to soothe your older son’s insecurities by giving him some one-on-one attention or encouraging him to talk about all the fun things he hopes to do with his baby brother as he gets older. Encourage kids to get specific and state the problem. Tell your child to focus on what they are upset about, rather than on their sibling. For instance, if your child is upset that their sibling likes to always choose what game they’ll play, they should state the problem rather than saying something like, “You’re not being fair!” By being specific about the problem (having an equal say in choosing the games) rather than focusing on a sibling’s behavior, the discussion can become more about the problem and solution, rather than their characterization of each other.
Sibling relationships are fluid, changing, constantly in process. At different periods of their lives, bothers and sisters draw apart or come together. There is now ay that we as parents can mandate a fixed, close, loving relationship between our children. However, what we can do, with skills and goodwill, is remove the usual obstacles to sibling harmony, so that when our children are ready to reach out to one another, the road is clear. (p240)You don’t have to make a fuss about everything your children end up doing. Siblings are always going to fight or argue, it is something that is always going to happen. Sometimes, you can let them go at it and ignore the small arguments. One on One Time
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