The Love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy

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In this first of a three-part series, we talk about their work, their findings, and some huge hacks that were mind-blowing for me. The "tough love" prescription is simple: obliterate the sense of entitlement to welfare, and incentivise recipients to work by imposing strict conditionality on unemployment benefits.

So here’s today’s small thing: Talk to your partner about some healthy habits that you could practice every day. These traditions are powerful ways to create shared meaning between you and your partner — and your entire family. JG: You would say something, just a simple thing like, “I’m wondering if that house we got is really the right house for us,” and I wouldn’t say anything back, and I would just hear it and I’d go.Why You Should Stop Trying to Fix Your Partner’s Feelings It might feel counterintuitive, but stop trying to fix your partner’s feelings. If you’re directing a movie and you want an actor to do this with another actor, what is the physicality of that step?

And the appreciation that you receive when you turn towards your partner is part of what keeps you wanting to do it more and more, rather than pointing out what your partner is doing wrong, it’s really important to point out what your partner is doing right. His work has earned him numerous major awards, and he was named one of the top ten most influential therapists of the past quarter century. On this episode of Small Things Often, learn how to bring them joy with simple gestures that’ll show how much you care. But, of course, asking someone to take an EQ test is a delicate matter – especially if you suspect the individual has low emotional intelligence. If they look up momentarily, nod, and then keep reading, they’ve turned away from your bid — and made a huge withdrawal from your bank account because you’ve felt ignored and unheard.That means each person must be able to assert their view while trying to understand their partner’s perspective, reaching a compromise and taking responsibility. At Truity, we've developed an EQ test that analyzes five facets of EQ: self-awareness, awareness of others, emotional control, empathy and wellbeing. We need a cookbook and that has the recipes in it, and tells you just how to do it, and that’s what we try to do, is create a cookbook.

As you do, you’ll be creating shared meaning which, in turn, will deepen your connection and help you grow even closer. JSG: Right, loneliness and negative feelings are much more powerful actually than positive feelings in their impact on us, right. If this is the case, listen up, because we’ve got some ways for you to strengthen your bond, get back on track — and rediscover what you cherished in each other. Here’s what I want to do with these two episodes, and we’re actually going to do three episodes, we’re going to do an episode where my mind was blown in the first 15 pages, you take no time busting through some terrible myths that I was clinging on to lovingly like a little life preserver in a sea of hostility. Although discord is uncomfortable, it's still important to let your other half know when they have overstepped your boundaries.Or that it makes you feel loved when they notice something different about you… like a new outfit or hairstyle. On this episode of Small Things Often, learn ways to get back on track by sharing fondness and admiration — no matter how busy your lives have become. Factors like a lack of sleep, the menstrual cycle and even our diet can wreak havoc on our wellbeing, leading to a temporarily reduced EQ. Tell your partner that you respect their perspective and that their feelings are natural and valid… even if you don’t agree.

God, that’s such a good habit to do because like when my kids interrupt my work or something, because I work from home, which has been like the source of so much conflict with all the couples I know. They may turn away from the bid, totally ignore your question — and continue to watch TV, which will create disconnection and resentment between you. So, if I talk to myself in a certain way, I’m going to talk to my husband or partner in that same way, and by golly, it really doesn’t work. Through groundbreaking mathematical models integrating nonlinear differential equations, we can reliably predict and chart the future course of a relationship.But It’s not only the healthy couples you can learn from — you can also learn from the ones who struggle — like couples who show contempt for each other or become critical or defensive when they argue. Today’s small thing: The next time you get angry about your partner not doing something, ask yourself, “Did I verbally ask them to do this? In relationship dynamics where both partners have high emotional intelligence (EQ), this kind of communication and empathy comes pretty easily.