If I Let You Go: The Heartbreaking, Shocking Richard and Judy Book Club Pick

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Janet is a decent human being with so much to offer to anyone blessed with more humanity and self-awareness than her self-obsessed husband is able or willing to show her and her gradual discovery of the right path forward is slow but so believable.

If I Let You Go by Charlotte Levin is a deeply moving and gripping portrayal of a woman coming to terms with loss. Her debut novel is one of my all time favourite books and so when I heard she had written a second book I knew I had to read it. But when Janet is involved in a train crash and saves the life of a little girl, it seems like fate has come full circle to offer Janet another chance at both life and redemption.The characterisation in this book was absolutely fabulous, every character was so well developed and well rounded. This book tells the tale of Janet, a woman who is coming to terms with loss and trying the navigate the way out of her trapped life. She’s in a big hole with nothing to dig herself out with and then there’s the building dread of Colin.

The ending is inconclusive and tragic; I would have preferred a more positive and uplifting conclusion. She lost her child when she was only 7 years old, this was 11 years ago now, and her husband blames her for it.However the guilt she still carries, about a devastating loss that happened eleven years ago, cannot be erased. If I Let You Go by Charlotte Levin is a deeply moving and gripping portrayal of a woman coming to terms with loss. Overall, If I Let You Go is an intriguing, intense, immersive tale by Levin that does a wonderful job of highlighting just how devastating and all-consuming guilt and grief can be and reminds us to savour every moment because life can often change in a heartbeat. As in her previous book the author creates a superb back-up of equally believable secondary characters to support the plot. Until the anniversary of Claires death when Janet rebels against Colin with tragic consequences when Janet is involved in an accident that has her hailed a hero.

Her writing is fabulous, full of emotion, and her descriptions are on point, and there is always that mix of humour combined within the chapters. It meandered a little in the beginning, dragging out scenes with Robbie, Mia and Lizzie with guilt-filled angst that got a little repetitive but was important to understand Janet and her situation. This is the story of Janet Brown, a woman weighed down by guilt and grief, whose small world revolves around her cleaning job, her elderly father in his care home, and controlling husband Colin. I really enjoyed this novel, the second I've read from Charlotte Levin, who seems to have a real knack for writing flawed protagonists so that we are both horrified by their actions and rooting for them to come good. Thank you to NetGalley, and to the publisher, for providing me with a free ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I love Charlotte Levins writing as she draws you in to the story and she's definitely made a fan out of me. Levin’s writing is stirringly evocative, perfectly framing the repetitive mediocrity of Janet’s life and her inner turmoil — and secret joy — as it takes its surprising turn. If I Let You Go is an unsettling, character-driven novel that introduces us to Janet, a young woman who, after a tragic accident eleven years ago, has spent her life in the shadows, performing her cleaning job to the best of her abilities, keeping house and placating her domineering husband, and visiting her elderly father as often as possible, until one night she decides she’s had enough and by morning her life will be irrevocably changed forever when she wakes to discover she’s a heroine of a train crash she can’t actually remember.

But eventually this slow, steady pace spirals out of control into unpredictable and erratic chaos, in a way that seems outlandish but really is such an accurate show of just how absurd life can become in a moments notice. It's clear Janet is trapped not just in her own mind, but her relationship, in her grief, in her lies - and we feel that caged anxious energy from the first page.It soon turns out that there is CCTV footage of Janet saving a young girl on the train, who is the daughter of famous people in the area, so soon enough there's a lot of interest in Janet. Her debut novel is one of my all time favourite books and so when I heard she had written a second book, I knew I had to read it. I honestly cannot describe how many times i wished I could jump into this book and talk to Janet, or to kick certain people right in the short and curlys!