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More Than A Body: Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament

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Our first book, More Than a Body, published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, is available everywhere! Get your copy today! Find it anywhere books are sold, including every retailer linked below:

Also, how is it any different to have women objectified as it is to have men objectified? I'm old school, so my example is walking through the romance section in any bookstore. The bodice ripper romances have bare chested men on the covers, many without heads. How is that not objectified????? My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years and I was obsessed with my weight for the first half of our marriage, and was thin as well. Eventually, I reached a point emotionally where I couldn’t diet even one more time and I started gaining weight. The bigger I got, the more obsessed with his own weight and body my husband became. For the past five years he has gotten into body building a bit and has gotten increasingly restrictive with his diet. He makes little side comments to me in judgement of my food, health and fatness. I’m the only fat person in the house, so he definitely gets his point across to me through the things he says about others and the things he says to the kids around me. This makes him sound really bad but he is wonderful in many other ways. This is just a tough area for both of us as he feels very right in this area.”If that is the case, your partner learned what you needed and validated you accordingly. He may have seen how happy and confident you seemed when you were losing weight or toning up or practicing intense restriction around food, and he also may have witnessed how depressed and self-conscious you seemed when you gained weight or lost muscle definition or stopped dieting. He may have internalized the idea that you are happiest and most confident when you are at your thinnest, when that isn’t actually the case. You have now learned the truth — you are actually happiest and most confident when you see yourself and others see you as more than a body to be looked at, judged, and fixed. When your self-worth and happiness each day isn’t dependent on how you do or don’t look or what you do or don’t eat. When your confidence and fulfillment is based on experiences, actions, and feelings, it is much more sustainable in the long run. It is self-determined and self-directed, not earned or appraised based on how others look at you. Take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions. Regardless of what anyone else wears or does, you can decide to view them as a person, not an object. Respect others’ agency to make choices that are different from yours and treat them with dignity. If you are going to have a book that is supposedly 'inclusive' and then dwells on how everyone is different and therefore some have it worse than others but definitely THAT MEN and how they view women ARE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL...but not have pornography (the ultimate objectification) listed in the index as a problem for men or women? I am totally baffled. What we didn’t realize then is that our bodies were never the problem. The problem was our body image, or the way we viewed and thought about our bodies. It had been skewed by all kinds of influences, including movies, TV, magazines, and even friends and family who learned from all of these same sources. The Apostle Paul taught, “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known” ( 1 Corinthians 13:12). The glass Paul described was like a cloudy or opaque mirror. We may also see ourselves “through a glass darkly” if we look at ourselves through mental lenses that have been distorted by our image-obsessed culture and determine our worth based on that warped and limited view.

Some of the points that I liked was talking about body neutrality vs. body positivity which still hyper focuses on the body image. Dress codes and the purpose behind dress codes, how should dress codes be made/handled/used? Weight loss and comments made that may seem positive-but again, shows the focus of the body. Q: What’s your advice to women who feel that both their own health and appearance would benefit from weight loss? Have you ever stayed home from a social activity or other opportunity because of concern about how you looked? Trigger Warning: If you struggle with overexercising or orthorexia, please be cautious and mindful of how this discussion might affect you. Despite Chelsea Clinton’s front cover assertion that this book is “for women of all ages,” its message is very clearly targeted to women in their teens, 20s and 30s. That’s whose comments and posts are quoted by the authors, and that’s the demographic who, for the most part, are posting selfies on social media and chatting about their journeys to a ‘better bod’.The second group is fighting to fit broader ideas of beauty and empowerment within the prison walls of objectification.

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