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Obsessive, Intrusive, Magical Thinking: A Life Lived Obsessively

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The author has an incredibly engaging writing style, which I enjoyed, but I found myself feeling like the story was cyclical. I would definitely recommend this as an insight into a neurodivergent mind and as a series of interesting essays in their own right. Like many essays in the book, “Yesterday, Tomorrow and Fantasy” highlights the equivocal status of obsession: it can be as joyful and productive as it is demanding and devastating. I would have loved a more linear timeline through some of the essays as it was hard to keep track of where and when Marianne was and what events had preceded certain essays at times, but as this isn't a memoir, the format worked. As a neurodivergent person myself, I found myself relating to the author a lot of the time - and when I didn't, her sense of humour and snide observations about the world around her made up for it.

I also felt that at times the essays felt somewhat disjointed when viewed as a whole - for instance, cultural references that showed up time and time again were sometimes reintroduced from scratch. That said, I was surprised by how well she made such niche, personal, specific experiences feel relatable and general. In her candid, witty memoir, Marianne Eloise offers a powerful account of what it is like to feel trapped by mental health problems and obsessions . Although, there were quite a few phrases that I felt were very 'internet' terms that I wasn't a huge fan of.Amongst them is the way the matrix of obsession, compulsion and intrusion represents an exaggeration of conventional anxieties. There is a common thread throughout the essays of embracing who you are, learning to be gentle with yourself, and pursuing what brings you peace. In her candid, witty memoir, Marianne Eloise offers a powerful account of what it is like to feel trapped by mental health problems and obsessions … A brave book that puts vulnerability fully on show. I was, sort of, enjoying this at the beginning as I felt like bits of me were scattered here and there. It was less comedic than 'Pure', the only other OCD-focused memoir I have read; but I really enjoyed the tone and the author's personality through her words.

This essay is effective and charming, precisely because it not only accounts for the author’s “blissful limbo” in this parallel reality, but also its place in a wider history. What that means changes day to day, depending on what her brain latches on to: fixations with certain topics, intrusive violent thoughts, looping phrases.

The book didn't disappoint - it follows her obsessions (LA, the sea, Disneyland), her fears (fire, Medusa) and the ways in which autism, OCD and ADHD have affected her over the course of her life. Obsessive, Intrusive, Magical Thinking is the culmination of a life spend obsessing, offering a glimpse into Marianne's brain, but also an insight into the lives of others like her. I felt very seen by it, but a lot of the essays fell very flat for me and I wanted much more from them. Would I sometimes like to soften my sensory processing issues, wear anything other than cotton without having a screaming fit?

Even if you don't deeply identify with the content of the essays, they're a really good portrayal of neurodiversity in an entertaining and enjoyable way, especially considering how much autism and OCD are misunderstood by neurotypical people.Indeed, in a time when other accomplished essayists – Jia Tolentino, Cathy Park Hong, Melissa Febos – are using the essay form to convulse the boundaries between the personal and the political, Marianne Eloise has camped out firmly in the former. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Obsessive, Intrusive, Magical Thinking may not be the pendulum shift for a literature of obsession, but it’s a touching and often well-wrought entry into the terrain. Obsessive, Intrusive, Magical Thinking is a culmination of a life spend obsessing, offering a glimpse into Marianne’s brain, but also an insight into the lives of others like her.

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