Gay Grandpa: Gay Grandpa Notebook, Grandfather Gift, LGBT Grandfather Journal, 200 pages, 8.5 x 11

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As a child growing up in a strictly religious household in Kansas, he felt unable to express that to anyone else or pursue any such relationship — at least until he left home. It didn’t happen in an alleyway, or in a sleazy motel room. Not even in my own bedroom. It was in a dusty half-lit store pantry on the ground floor of my grandfather’s house. With about 9 other relatives on the first floor. It happened when I wasn’t alone.

I started noticing something strange when the nurse who had looked after Grandpa seemed afraid. The first night after Grandma’s funeral, I was in Grandpa’s room with her while Grandpa was asleep. When I excused myself to the bathroom, she suddenly grabbed my arm and pleaded, “Mbak, saya jangan ditinggal sendiri!” (Sis, don’t leave me alone!) He no longer remembers what he told Phillip of his decision, writing only that "whatever it was, it was not the truth." His actions and the loss of Phillip haunts Felts to this day. I feel very alone as my dad isn't interested (it was his dad) and my mum just makes me feel guilty by saying that she did have a few 'words' but because I didn't say anything to her again she thought it had stopped. therefore the abuse carried on. All the while, I had stood there listening with my head down. Realising that, my mother turned to me and asked, “Are you okay?” He went silent for a moment, staring at the TV screen. Minutes passed before he offered the same thing again. Again, I declined. This time, my gut feeling warned me. He could still walk properly, but why did he suddenly want me alone with him in his bedroom?

Am I traumatised and never able to trust men again? Not quite. I am, after all, happily married. But till this day, I can’t stand stubby beards. Slowly, the wary Felts opened his heart to the man with whom he was falling in love. Their relationship blossomed cautiously, but intensely. The next day, the whole family was in an uproar. My aunt told my mother and their other siblings about what had happened. My youngest aunt started crying hysterically, claiming it was impossible. Once everybody learned the harsh truth, she was crying even harder in anger. What tore them apart was Felts himself, who, following church services one Sunday, realized he couldn’t reconcile his love with his faith. I sometimes wish that my parents did make a big deal out of it. I wish my relatives knew what a creep grandfather was.

I found the answer behind why all the housemaids and nurses had resigned early one night. Since I was still unemployed despite being in my twenties, I had mostly stayed there and rarely gone out. I was busy reading while Grandpa was watching TV, when suddenly he turned to me. After reading Felt's story in the media, an unnamed woman began searching for Phillip according to reports. Sadly, she discovered that Phillip Allen Jones had passed away only two years earlier. Felts revealed his pain in a moving post to Facebook. I am a very open person and have told my mum how I feel and how I felt, she obviousily does feel guilty because of certain things she has said and she ends up crying but I end up feeling sorry for her and feel guilty that I have brought it up. but in my head I cant understand why when as a child I have said things to her about grandpa that if a child said to me now, it would ring alarm bells, not only because it happened to me but because of what it is that is being said. I just cant get my head around the above statements, said by me to my mum and I was still left with him and went on holiday with him without the parents. I remember my grandpa would always give me money secretly and always said, 'don't tell your mum or your brother' he would always inappropriately touch me and show himself to me, many times I cant even pin point one.Although I am now 27, when I was about 6 (maybe younger) my Grandpa started to sexually abuse me and groom me, favouring me over my older brother. In their defence, they couldn’t have prevented it. Not before it happened anyway. They couldn’t have known that they shouldn’t leave me alone downstairs while they chatted happily just several metres away. They couldn’t have known that they should have told me from a young age to “scream for help and run if someone touches you here or here“. And for that, I’ve never blamed them. I was abused too by the father of my father. A story very similar to yours. Since I was 5, that's as early as I remember, until I was 10. I also felt uncomfortable and told my mother, who said: "You must have misunderstood him". It wasn't that she didn't care, just that it was impossible for her to imagine something like that happening in her own house.

It's really good that you're working with a therapist to let it all out. In my view, parents, should do much more than have a "word" with someone. They should protect, and be there to not allow the abuse happen. However, this is not always the case. And yes, you have a right to be angry. one time when I was about 7 I remember we had gone round for dinner and my parents were getting into the car, and I was saying goodbye to grandpa - he said he wanted to French kiss me - to which I didn't know what that was, so ran to mum and told her and she shoved me into the car. I can’t remember when I realised the disturbing intentions of his action. Maybe it was when I discovered porn by accident. Maybe it was when I studied Chapter 4 of Science in Form 3. Maybe it was during “girl talk” with my guy friends in school. Regarding your husband, how about if you tell him that certain "expression of affection" remind you of your abuser. So, instead of repeating them, to do others. Tell him how you feel, and that's not him related, but related to the past. He might want to contribute to you feeling good, so he can stopped doing that. After possibly the longest 8 minutes of my life, I hear the door open and close. I wait another two minutes and finally pee (in the stall though)

If you came out, it really would cost you — your family, your job, all of your relationships,” Felts explained. “You would immediately be called a pervert.” “A lot of them telling me that they've got more courage now to come out." Kenneth Felts / Facebook Dont feel guilty, be sure if you had said to your mother more and more never she would have done something. There is no better way to understand the power of touch than by experiencing it standing naked at the kitchen cabinet making a cup of hot tea and feeling a person walk up behind you, who is also unclothed," Felts writes. "The skin on skin encounter is like no other, like magic." Is more understandable your father if he cant think his father as pedophile of her daughter but I see a lot of "I dont want know" in this story. How do I begin? I’ve been considering (and reconsidering) telling this story. Perhaps you are wondering, “What for? Shouldn’t the past stay in the past?”