Book of Suicide Notes

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Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.”

Revealing semantic and emotional structure of suicide notes Revealing semantic and emotional structure of suicide notes

In this study we use the subject-verb-object (SVO) network to identify central actors and in particular the way the self (“I”) is related to other people and concepts in suicide notes. The SVO representation is more suitable for this task than the co-occurrence representation as the number of relations a given word is involved in is not determined by the number of its occurrences alone but rather by the centrality of its position in the syntactic structure of sentences in which it occurs. Hence, in the SVO representation most important sentence-building and therefore meaning-making entities have most central position in the network by design (see Network construction section in Supplementary Information (SI) for more details). Therefore, in this approach it is justified to consider node strength (sum of edge weights) an appropriate measure of centrality. Core actors and themes What did it say about me that all of my favorite novels fell somewhere between a love letter and a suicide note?” I know when you think about how I went, you'll get it. I was always uneasy about being alive. The idea of being dead makes me feel clear. When I think of it. It makes me think peace, peace, peace. It makes me happy. I am looking forward to it, to the absence of everything. And so I want you to be happy for me, that this is better for me. That I found what I needed. I know you won't be. But it's the last thing I want. You happy.”Healthy in body and mind, I end my life before pitiless old age which has taken from me my pleasures and joys one after another; and which has been stripping me of my physical and mental powers, can paralyse my energy and break my will, making me a burden to myself and to others” In the present study, we follow the above interpretations by extending the meaning of “balance” to encompass properties of affective organization within the context of signed networks built from conceptual associations. As such we refer to this extended interpretation as emotional balance. Specifically, we study how co-occurrence relationships and valences (sentiments) of words in suicide notes can provide information about possible psychological tensions, distress and emotional disturbances 41 within narrative structures. To yield positive and negative links between words, we adopt the following reasoning: fang-tastic satire of the Jane Austen craze catches up with “Elizabeth Jane Fairfax,” the undead 233-year-old author and Continue reading » as a person who felt with suicidal thoughts i thought i should post a short quote from older letters of mine that i’ve never used. Many more studies have been done since Shneidman found his first set of notes, and much more is now known about the suicidal mind, but in many cases, it still remains a mystery.

Suicide Note by Mitchell Heisman | Goodreads Suicide Note by Mitchell Heisman | Goodreads

If there is a negative word in a triad, the links connected to it will also be negative, representing emotional tension between positive and negative concepts; In Cold Falls, N.Y., smalltown rules are changing as Ford's seven gay protagonists make lives for themselves far from big-city gay havens. This entertaining if overstuffed sophomore effort Continue reading »You never can tell, though, with suicide notes, can you? In the planetary aggregate of all life, there are many more suicide notes than there are suicides. They're like poems in that respect, suicide notes: nearly everyone tries their hand at them some time, with or without the talent. We all write them in our heads. Usually the note is the thing. You complete it, and then resume your time travel. It is the note and not the life that is cancelled out. Or the other way round. Or death. You never can tell, though, can you, with suicide notes.” This cache represented the notes collected by the coroners between 1944 and 1953, but this meant that only about 15% of recognized suicidal decedents had left them. The Discomfort Relief Quotient (DRQ) To study the emotional balance structure of mental states in suicide notes we start by building a signed network from the CO network (see “ Materials and methods” section); then we evaluate its triad frequency and degree of balance—i.e., fraction of balanced triads; finally we present their statistical significance by comparing observed data against two different null models, as well as against the FA network, proceeding similarly as with the CO network. Let us underline that the comparison between the CO network, coming from suicide notes, and the FA network, coming from mind-wandering in the absence of suicide ideation, aims to identify potential patterns of psychological distress expressed in the language of suicide notes and potentially missing from the mental states of healthy controls during free mind-wandering. Emotional balance and triad significance in suicide notes We explore how triad frequency and degree of balance (DoB) in both the CO and FA networks differ from random expectation when sequential structure or affective structure is disrupted, respectively. The first comparison is obtained by configuration models randomising network structure but keeping fixed the degree of individual words. The second comparison is obtained by label-shuffling, which altered the location and local degree of words of different valence while keeping the empirical structure fixed. In Fig. 2b we present a toy example of the null models.

Suicide Notes | Psychology Today Suicide Notes | Psychology Today

Impartially, shrewdly, I considered suicide, though not in my worst moments. The bottle of pills. The note: 'No hard feelings, everyone, but I've thought about it and it's just not on, is it? It's nearly on, but not quite. No? Anyway, all the best, C.” bridges the gap between gay romance and mainstream fiction in his latest. Ben Ransome, a Continue reading »After creating the above modified versions of the networks, we build the associated signed networks and calculate the corresponding degree of balance and triad frequency values for both the null models. We present the mean and standard deviations for each count and for the degree of balance based on a sample of 1000 random realizations. This handsomely illustrated and informative gay man's guide to sex offers the perfect marriage... er, civil union... between reassuring, good-humored and consistently engaging text with more Continue reading » The formal study of suicide notes started with a collection of 721 discovered at a coroner's office, written by people ranging from age 13-96. Network science provides tools for quantifying and reconstructing both semantic frames 18, 19, 20 and emotional associations 12, serving as a framework for the quantitative identification of ways in which people perceive events and happenings 12, 14, 19, 21, 22. In comparison to more opaque machine learning techniques, networks have the advantage of transparently representing a proxy for the associative structure of language in the human mind, within the cognitive system apt at acquiring, storing and producing language, i.e. the mental lexicon 21, 23. Supported by psycholinguistic inquiries into the mental lexicon 14, 23, 24, 25, complex networks built from texts can open a window into people’s mindsets 12. Focus here is given to reconstructing the collective mindset as expressed in the last written words left by people who committed suicide. To this aim, we adopt a corpus of genuine suicide notes gathered in a previous study 9 and including 139 letters from people who committed suicide. The letters come from a collection of suicide notes from sources like newspapers, books and diaries collected by clinical psychologists mostly in the US and in Europe. The notes were written and collected over a time window spanning over 60 years and have been used also for recent machine learning approaches to automatic detection of suicide ideation 9. On average, a letter included 120 ± 12 words and a total of over 2000 different concepts were stated in the whole corpus. Cognitive network approach to suicidal ideation analysis Cranky, bemused and extremely funny, Ford (Alec Baldwin Doesn't Love Me) is brilliant even on potentially mundane topics like high school reunions (""Michael Thomas Ford is very proud to announce Continue reading »

Suicide Notes by Michael Thomas Ford | Waterstones

Researchers have found that quite a few suicide notes are emotionally neutral, giving lists, admonishments, or instructions. Love, success, and friendship are not always enough to counter the pain and destructiveness of severe mental illness. American artist Ralph Barton tried to explain this in his suicide note: Everyone who has known me and who hears of this will have a different hypothesis to offer to explain why I did it. Practically all of these hypotheses will be dramatic—and completely wrong. Any sane doctor knows that the reasons for suicide are invariably psychopathological. Difficulties in life merely precipitate the event—and the true suicide type manufactures his own difficulties.” Given this setting, in Fig. 2a we show how we obtain emotionally balanced and unbalanced triads based on the valence of the words. We consider a triad emotionally balanced if there are a majority of positive words or if there is no predominant valance.I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better friend.” Following this definition, a triad with a negative word will become balanced if the other two end nodes are positive. An all-positive triad emerges from all positive words or from two positive words with a neutral word. Neutral triads, since they do not contribute to a positive/negative predominance of affect, are not considered (see Fig. 2a). This emotional construction aligns with the definition of balanced ( \(\{+, +, +\}\) and \(\{+, -, -\}\)) and unbalanced ( \(\{-, -, -\}\)) triads in structural balance 42, with the exception that in our application the formation of the unbalanced triad \(\{+, +, -\}\) is not possible. to my dearest friends and family. i know you’ll miss me, but don’t. i am the lowest being that there’ll ever be; you should live your life without me. i promise you’ll be able to move on. i’ll be in your heart always. no matter what. to my love; my one and only; thank you. we’ve been through hard times and i don’t want you to hate me for what has already been done. you are my sunshine the love to my heart, and air in my lungs, and the one person who ever listened. don’t cry at my funeral; laugh instead. i’ll remember you no matter where i go after death. love AS” But I didn't love you like you loved me. I don't hate you for that. It just makes me sorry, that there isn't someone else who could love you better.