Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And other rituals to fix your life, from someone who's been there

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Brutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a young vice president at Comedy Central who was called “ahead of her time” by Jordan Peele A lot of the book comes off a bit elitist, to be honest. When someone says they went to a really nice private school, followed by Brown University, and then flippantly states how "poor" they were, it irks me to no end. There are moments when the author realizes her privilege, but most of the time, I think the things she has to say come off as incredibly tone deaf. And not to be callous, but if you've experienced this much trauma and also worked for a comedy network for a decade plus, shouldn't you be, I don't know, funny? Passably funny? Clever? I don't know how you could live for a year in a house with gynecological equipment rotting in your front yard and not turn that into a hilarious anecdote?

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I also really liked the "I'm in this with you" tone to the book. Part of it could be defined as a memoir as she takes you through some of her own experiences and, most importantly, what she learned from them. There's a definite "things don't have to be as hard for you as they were for me" kind of sentiment to the book that makes it incredibly relatable and approachable. She also makes self care seem a bit too simple. "I'm sad so I called a friend who lives in Tokyo who told me to come visit her and so I did and wow seeing the world really changed my life and I think you should do the same" or "One day I felt bad about myself and then the next day I bought an unlimited pass to a meditation studio and now my life is changed" (I'm definitely paraphrasing here). A bracingly honest, funny read...like Wild meets You Are a Badass." (Adam Grant, number one New York Times best-selling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option B)This is a regurgitation of the most overworked lessons from late 80s Oprah from the whiniest, least circumspect voice one could possibly imagine. “Write thank you notes! Keep a gratitude journal! Ever heard of exercise? Turns out it’s great! For some people this might be a good book but I didn't really like it. It's a self-help book, with memoir elements, and if that's your jam you'll probably like this. Personally, she lost me when she started talking about how much she loved journaling and the merits of positive psychology. I have a very toxic relationship with journaling and no longer do that, and I don't really like positive psychology because I feel like it's been co-opted in the social media sphere by people who practice toxic positivity. I did not know much about Tara Schuster as a TV Executive but certainly know her work very well being involved in The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Key & Peele. Her work with those shows helped their rise to popularity and its success. I loved to read about the personal life of very successful people and how they learned to manage the balance of their personal and professional life. The book was a great read and learned a lot from it and was able to take the advice to apply to my own personal life. I believe that other readers would be able to do the same as well. I found the read to be thoroughly thought provoking and admire the self-reflection as part of the book. I felt that the book was written with her heart on her sleeves and must be difficult to write these personal struggles for a very successful professional in the industry. I enjoy the honesty and that the book covered a wholistic approach to the mind, body and relationships, which are the most important to develop a healthy and happy life.

Tara Schuster

I identified with a lot of what Tara had to say. The tumultuous childhood she had was nuts. The most nutty thing were the unimaginably cruel voice mails her estranged mother would leave her after her parents separated and the mother took the younger sister, leaving Tara with her dad. So, even though I’ve had ups and downs with my own mom, it made me appreciate that we do have a good, if not always easy, relationship.Keep a budget, but get regular pedicures for self care - if you don’t, it’s definitely because you have a poor relationship with your monstrous mother.” Taking care of yourself through eating well, not muting our lives with drugs including alcohol, getting enough sleep, and nurturing relationships, makes for a much happier life. I got an advance copy from NetGalley, so the first couple times I ran across the lowercase “rn,” I thought it was some kind of typo, which happens a lot in advanced reader copies. The third time, from the context, I realized she was trying to say “right now,” and apparently didn’t have the time or space to be clear about this. I’m on social media so I know many shorthand terms, but sometimes, just bothering to write things out makes for actual clear writing, which is a super handy thing when it comes to communicating in written form. I began to realize that I did indeed have a lot to be grateful for. That didn't mean I didn't also have trauma in my life. It certainly didn't mean that I had worked out all of my issues from childhood and now everything was “perf, thanks, byeee .” The trauma and the gratitude were able to live in the same space, together. Little by little, I pulled the golden thread of gratitude out from the blanket of pain I usually wrapped myself in.