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The Little Book of Toilet Jokes: The Ultimate Collection of Crap Jokes, Number One-Liners and Hilarious Cracks

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Last Tan&Go in Powys – Bleak one-off strip about a young woman who develops an addiction to indoor tanning and subsequently dies from skin cancer after her friends make fun of her pale appearance. The title is a pun on Last Tango in Paris. Randy Old Dog - A strip about a dog called Jeremy who copulates with a human leg, but when he sees his wife (who is another human leg), he tries to explain what happened, only to copulate with a blow-up doll of a human leg.

I asked for a photo, but she said I should wait until tomorrow as she’s naked and doesn’t want to get dressed to go to the freezer in the basement this late at night.My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.” Sarah Millican (2011) Sarah Millican performed her show Throughly Modern Millican in 2011 (Photo: BBC)

Trump loves capitalism but hates free trade, which is like being a Destiny’s Child fan who hates Beyoncé. Luvvie Darling – a melodramatic and self-important thespian who is completely talentless. He presents himself as an A-list actor but is only offered very minor (and ultimately humiliating) roles. Darling is depicted as an exaggerated parody of old-school British Shakespearian stage actors: pompous, bombastic, profligate and pretentious in his use of literary quotes, and habitually referring to famous, real-life actors in familiar terms (such as "Dear old Larry" for Sir Laurence Olivier). Darling's name is a pun on the insincere and over-affectionate terms, "luvvie" and "darling" that actors and actresses are stereotyped as employing with each other. (for a good example see 'Absolutely Fabulous' starring Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders) It’s been reported that the President is looking forward to Chequers with the Prime Minister. His spokesperson said he’s pretty good at the game. (Photo: Getty)

20 Scavenger Hunt Ideas & Activities for Kids

Max Power – a breakdown mechanic who, instead of repairing cars, rebuilds them into hot-rods. His name is a parody of Max Power magazine, which is aimed at people who are into "pimping" up cars.

I went in to a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said, ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.'” Captain Unreliable – A superhero who fails to save the day because of oversleeping, his car breaking down, etc. Trump is giving inspiration to a new generation of kids. Kids would be told ‘Believe in yourself, you can be anything when you grow up, you could be President’. The kids and the parents both knew that there was no chance of it actually happening. Now, it’s a genuine possibility. So prepare your knees, because you and the crew are about to start slapping them. And, we promise, that's no joke. Bad jokes for kidsRobin Hood and his Merrie Men – Robin Hood plays overpriced, obviously rigged games at a funfair because Maid Marion insisted he win a stuffed toy Dom and Jerry – a once-only parody of Tom and Jerry where a BDSM-obsessed cat is trying to catch the mouse to perform his twisted sexual acts on it. Flash Harry – a man who is constantly trying to indecently expose himself to women but regularly fails. Doctor Poolittle – a spoof of Doctor Dolittle depicting the title character severely constipated and attempting to learn how to defecate from zoo animals. After a lion roars at him, he soils his trousers. [9]

Junior Cop - a boy who acts like a policeman, informing a mother that her son has died (annoying her as it's not true, as her son is watching TV in the other room) and battering a confession out of his own mother (with the support of his father who is actually a policeman himself). Mrs Cedd, Her Anthony's Dead – a bereaved mother who constantly grieves for her dead son Anthony. When her husband points out that she herself murdered Anthony, she kills him too and then publicly bemoans being a widow. Donald Trump has tweeted he wants to help the President of China protect Chinese jobs. Which is something he does have experience doing.

The Good and The Bad Gryffindor Traits in Harry Potter

Fixed-Odds Betty – a sombre one-off strip depicting a woman selling her possessions and emptying her bank account to buy her grandson a bike for his birthday, only to end up being waylaid by his mother and spending it all at a fixed-odds betting machine in a bookmakers while the boy waits outside in the rain. This strip guest-starred the main character from fellow Viz strip "We ..." Desperately Unfunny Dan – parody of barrel-chested Desperate Dan who tries too hard to amuse people with his superhuman feats of strength. The Intern - A strip telling the story of Tom Golightly, who dreams of being an advertising executive and in 1981 manages to get himself a one-year unpaid internship. The internship ends up lasting decades, as Tom waits to get a paid position at his firm even as he is constantly passed over for jobs (despite making the company a fortune with successful advertising campaigns, with his bosses taking all the credit) due to nepotism. Finally in March 2020 Tom's patience pays off and he is finally given a paid job at the firm, albeit as a mere teaboy. Unfortunately on the day Tom is due to begin his actual employment with the company at which he has worked at unpaid for almost 40 years (which is also his 61st birthday) he is told he is being furloughed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, with the firm folding a couple of months later.

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