No Matter What

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I love how positive psychology expert Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar explains his reasoning for the title of this book. He claims that there is no such thing as happily ever after, but that we can continuously learn how to become happier, no matter what. His approach involves self-reflection and experimentation to improve our wellbeing in five areas: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational, and Emotional. He refers to this approach as Climbing the SPIRE, which I think is a very helpful mnemonic. Lisa snapped out of her misery and decided to own her problems so she could do something about them. And she did. Normally, when this happens, the rest as they say becomes history and people go on to make it big in the area of motivational speaking and use their story as a reference point: throw in the sexual molestation she experienced at age five, and the picture is complete. This is the ordinary model and of course Lisa was also sexually molested when she was only five! We see now that a crocodile has taken Small's place in the bathtub. Large extends a hand, holding out Small's toothbrush and toothpaste. Armistice Day: A Collection of Remembrance - Spark Interest and Educate Children about Historical Moments I found this book almost unbearably moving and, ultimately, uniquely uplifting. I have never before read, in a single book, such a compelling portrait of the horrors of child neglect and its consequences, alongside a portrait of the historical inadequacies of adoption assessment and post adoption support. This is a staggeringly vivid account of a heroic struggle by heroic adopters to heal the deep scars of neglect and abuse. I cannot recommend it warmly enough.

No Matter What . . . We All Belong – Becky Davies – Heath Books No Matter What . . . We All Belong – Becky Davies – Heath Books

Nichols' books is divided into 9 steps, or "muscles". These are muscles that when developed can help to to navigate life's ups and downs more effectively. Having read a lot of books like this, I really like the muscle concept. When you work out your physical muscles, you don't get results right away. But through diligent work they get more developed and therefore more effective. The same can be said of the 9 muscles that Lisa Nichols outlines: Understanding, Faith-in-Myself, Take-Action, I-Know-Like-I-Know, Honesty, Say-Yes, Determination, Forgiveness, and Highest Choice. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in personal growth and experiencing more wellbeing. As I was reading, I kept thinking of people I would love to gift a copy to. Honest, refreshing, heart-breaking, thought-provoking and inspiring - this is a valuable insight into adoption and the devastating effects of trauma. Just cute little foxy touches that make the story that much better, more interesting, and more enjoyable. The little fox in this book starts out feeling grumpy when her/his parent is on the phone, ignoring her/him, and this sets the stage for the little fox to ask for reassurance and to find out that she/he will be loved, no matter what. Gliori’s (The Snow Lambs, Pure Dead Magic) rhyming text is sweet and reassuring; the parent fox always has a loving, reassuring answer to give the child. The first two examples are easy to see why a child might feel they need reassurance that they’ll still be loved–feeling awful and/or acting out when feeling grumpy or angry (grim and grumpy, and grumpy and grizzly bear). The next two examples were not as immediately clear to me, and didn’t feel as strongly written. After some thought, I realized that “squishy bug” and the child worrying if they’ll still get a hug might mean if the child was feeling unlovable–but I wish that connection were stronger. Still, a child needing reassurance that they will still be loved is a universal need.

Reviews

Everyone should read this funny and deeply moving account of modern adoption: the highs, the lows, the risks and the rewards. Sally's writing is honest, insightful and beautiful to read. With great humility Sally shares her journey of courage, hope and persistence in boldly loving her children despite the odds, no matter what...Throughout the book I laughed and cried, experiencing the highs and lows of loving children who have lived the unthinkable. For too long adopters walked this journey very much alone. We must now accompany them on this journey, in our neighbourhoods, communities and cities, and within our education, social care and health services. Together we can make a difference; each life is precious, however fragile and different. No Matter What communicates this truth, and is an important contribution at this time of policy change. One section stopped me short while reading, since it felt un-childlike, and in a different tone than the rest of the book, almost formal: “But does love wear out? Does it break or bend? Can you fix it or patch it? Does it mend?” I would have preferred the text to flow more easily. Still, all the answers are reassuring, and answer questions that many children may not even be able to express–such as knowing that the parent will still love the child, even if they are away from them. In the most modest, refreshing and unassuming way, Sally gives a voice to everyone struggling with infertility or learning to parent traumatised children. This book is a triumph in so many ways. Tl;dr - This book is very lauded. I thought it was pretty good, especially the little touches Gliori makes on the illustrations. However, for grief books I'd look elsewhere.

No Matter What (an extract) - whiteballoon No Matter What (an extract) - whiteballoon

In No Matter What Sally has written about her adoption journey in a way which enables us to walk in her shoes and those of her children and which is informative and humbling. Anyone associated with children in the care system in any capacity could only benefit from reading this outstanding book. If you've ever wondered what it's like to adopt, this book holds the answer: it's hard, sometimes traumatic, and far from "normal family life". It's also special, joyful, and utterly transformative - for parents as much as children. Yes our families are different; this book explains in both a moving and matter-of-fact way why we are proud to be so. Picture books that are reassuring can help soothe a child, help them know that they are loved–or should be loved. I think they can have great benefit. No Matter What by Debi Gliori is one of those books. I've watched Lisa Nichols light up rooms and inspire thousands for years. As a featured teacher in The Secret, she explained the Law of Attraction, but now, for the first time, she reveals her own secret to the Law of No Matter What . Read this book, and learn to create the things in life you believed were out of reach." -- Marci Shimoff, bestselling author of Happy for No Reason and featured teacher in The Secret

Not a big fan of self-help book myself but this one is exceptional. Found out about Lisa from her powerful speeches available online and from thereon I knew she'd be my go-to reference in the subject of "dream big". Sir Martin Narey, Government Advisor on Children's Social Care and Visiting Professor, Durham and Sheffield Hallam Universities Tal received his PhD in Organizational Behavior from Harvard University. His dissertation, completed in 2004, is titled "Restoring Self-Esteem's Self-Esteem: The Constructs of Dependent and Independent Competence and Worth." Additionally, he also holds a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) from Harvard in Philosophy and Psychology. His undergraduate thesis, completed in 1996, is titled "Honesty Pays: Bridging the Gap Between Moral Theory and Practice."

No Matter What Lyrics | Genius Lyrics Boyzone – No Matter What Lyrics | Genius Lyrics

Sally Donovan has written a warm, humorous, hard-hitting and compelling story about her own adoption journey. What she says will resonate with the majority of those who have adopted children from care. Ultimately this is an overwhelmingly positive celebration of the transformation that adoption can bring to society's most damaged and vulnerable children, but it also clearly sets out the realities of parenting children affected by early childhood abuse and neglect. Every adopter will be able to recognise some aspect of their own experiences in Sally's story and I would urge every professional working with adopted children -- including health visitors and teachers, as well as social workers - to read this so they know what understanding and support those parenting adopted children need. Every time I say that I am through with reading self-help books, then another one falls into my lap. Louise Michelle Bombèr, Adoption Support Teacher for Brighton and Hove, Attachment Support Teacher Therapist for The Yellow Kite Attachment Support Service No Matter What is by a long way the best account ever written of the experience of being an adoptive parent and carer of children traumatised by maltreatment. With heart-wrenching candour, it tells the story of a couple's journey through the pain of childlessness, the adoption process, and the lived experience of caring for Jaymey and Harlee whose early lives were 'almost unbearable to read about'. Sally Donovan evokes brilliantly the commitment, energy, therapeutic skill and humanity required to care for and heal children whose past abuse has left them distressed, feeling unworthy and acting out in often chaotic ways. This remarkable book is not only a major contribution to work on child welfare; such is the sheer power and brilliance of the writing that it triumphs as a work of literature, as art. Utterly compelling and humane, No Matter What is essential reading for all those who care for and about vulnerable children, adoption and fostering and who are open to being inspired by the healing power of love.

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I am, and will remain, totally in awe of Sally and her husband Rob. Their empathy and resilience is sure to inspire anyone who reads this book, particularly those thinking about adopting a child. A lot of authors use their own stories as a means of example and this one is no different. Ms. Nichols has gone through her share of difficulties and bad experiences on the road to becoming who she is today. What stood out for me is that she grew up in southern Los Angeles (formerly known as South Central) and her difficulties and bad experiences are similar to ones that I and people I have known have also gone through. No Matter What pulls no punches in describing Sally and Rob's moving journey of adopting two siblings and the challenges of parenting them in great detail. It is beautifully written with humour and understanding.