NOW Thats What I Call Music! 4

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If your song ends up on a commercial, especially one featuring a person dancing, congrats, dude—your song is probably music. 40. Now That’s What I Call Music! 63

Now That’s What I Call Music!’ Album, Ranked Every ‘Now That’s What I Call Music!’ Album, Ranked

Chanté’s Got a Man” is a wildly rude song. The thesis of “Chanté’s Got a Man” is “Oh dang, it’s really too bad your boyfriend is cheating on you, but guess what: I’m in a very stable, rewarding relationship.” It’s just a whole bunch of boasting—all done in the third person—directed at a woman going through one of the hardest periods of her life. Chanté didn’t need to do this. 56. Now That’s What I Call Music! 66 Now 43 is an inflection point in the Now nexus, capturing most of the artists either on the downslope of their careers or headed toward their apex. On the wrong side of the peak are artists like Usher (“Scream”), Maroon 5 (“Payphone”), and Ne-Yo (“Let’s Go”). On the rise are One Direction (“One Thing”), Ellie Goulding (“Lights”), and Calvin Harris (also “Let’s Go”). Now 43 also features M83’s “Midnight City,” which is great, but random. T35. Now That’s What I Call Music! 26Once again: Music, in its most current state, is bad. Now 65, in particular, features a three-song run that paints a ghastly picture of recent popular rap, from G-Eazy’s “No Limit” to NF’s “Let You Down” to Post Malone’s “I Fall Apart.” Woof. 60. Now That’s What I Call Music! 58 Across 67 albums, only 14 songs received a perfect 10 in the Essential Score category. “Teenage Dream” is one of them, and because I don’t have much else to say about Now 36, now is a good time to do a mini ranking of all the most essential Now songs. If this was music in late 2016, then those months are truly the darkest days of American pop culture. 66. Now That’s What I Call Music! 13

NOW That’s What I Call Music! 46 [US] - Genius NOW That’s What I Call Music! 46 [US] - Genius

Turn Down for What” is Lil Jon’s revenge on the Now god after it somehow determined that both “Get Low” and “Yeah!” were not music. In response to these truly harsh, obviously misguided snubs, Lil Jon clearly sat down with the then-unknown DJ Snake to make a song that was so music it would eventually drive everyone mad. 9. Now That’s What I Call Music! 16 Here are five reasons why I think “Somebody That I Used to Know” isn’t remembered so kindly, despite it not being that bad a song: The last two Now albums, nos. 66 and 67, include songs that were released after October 1, 2017, meaning they have not yet been eligible to be nominated for, and win, Grammys. In those cases, educated guesses were employed. A really tough listen all the way through, Now 58 starts with a low-impact Kelly Clarkson song (“Piece by Piece”) and continues with a slew of artists’ lesser hits (“Roses” by the Chainsmokers, “In the Night” by the Weeknd, “Out of the Woods” by Taylor Swift, and “Middle” by DJ Snake) and also songs by G-Eazy (again!) and Bryson Tiller. No thanks! 59. Now That’s What I Call Music! 10 But Ansel shouldn’t be so hard on himself. He was in The Fault in Our Stars, which popularized “Boom Clap” by Charli XCX. Ergo, Ansolo is so close to being music. 30. Now That’s What I Call Music! 46I can’t really blame Now for this series of errors, though. The early 2000s were clearly messed up. We were a bunch of people running around barking at each other. Then when the barking stopped, we stopped listening. We as a culture need to take responsibility for our turn toward canine-related party jams, rather than hold Now accountable for its inability to predict that rather embarrassing phenomenon. 58. Now That’s What I Call Music! 15 If we ever do a ranking called “Now That’s What I Call a Reality Show!” though, Jessica’s taking home the belt. 48. Now That’s What I Call Music! 23 It was very difficult choosing the most essential song off Now 6, which tells you why it’s ranked so high. In one corner you’ve got “Love Don’t Cost a Thing” by Jennifer Lopez, which was the subject of probably my favorite episode of Making the Video. In the next corner there’s Creed’s “With Arms Wide Open,” and may I just say WELCOME TOOOO THIS PLACE, I’LL SHOW YOU EVERYYYYTHANG. Then there’s “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy, a song in which a man is caught literally having sex on the floor of a bathroom, and when that man asks Shaggy for advice, Shaggy just says, “Lie about it, bro.” Not helpful, Shaggy! She already saw me! Speaking of Karmin, remember when Karmin was on Saturday Night Live? That was, um, interesting. The performance has mostly been scrubbed from the internet (which makes sense), but you can still read this breakdown by Vulture of all the absurd gestures Karmin made during it, which is probably better than actually rewatching the thing. 54. Now That’s What I Call Music! 34

NOW That’s What I Call Music! 74 [US] - Genius NOW That’s What I Call Music! 74 [US] - Genius

It also, for some reason, has Juvenile’s “Slow Motion,” marking one of the only times Now correctly classified rap as music. More on that below … 8. Now That’s What I Call Music! 49I have complete faith in the all-knowing “I,” but sometimes I wonder … 62. Now That’s What I Call Music! 67