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The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Third Edition

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Alice Miller speaks of the vital importance for us to discover our own personal truth that puts us in touch with our true self. If the crude characterisation of Dworkin's position was that "all men are rapists", then the equivalent caricature of Miller's psychoanalytic view would be that "all children are abused by their parents". Nationalism, racism, and fascism are in fact nothing other than ideological guises of the flight from painful, unconscious memories of endured contempt. I really liked that part where she discusses children having to repress their own needs to appease their parents.

This helps to explain the cult status the original book quickly achieved - because educated middle-class readers could easily find themselves reflected in it. And the result is a meaningless life of ‘going through the motions of living’ WITHOUT ever knowing their true selves. Miller offers through her book a fascinating tale of the effects of childhood, not solely on the child as these events take place, but more so on the adult.She became a practising analyst herself, but resigned from the International Psychoanalytic Association in 1988 (signalling her "break" with mainstream Freudian analysis). Even political leaders might be able to be more accepting of minorities if they’d deal with their troubled pasts. Such parenting can interrupt the bonding process, depriving a young child of the opportunity to feel safe and loved, and ultimately of developing a healthy sense of well-being. It’s a delicate balance between wanting our children to actualize their gifts and talents to their fullest potential while attending to their unique feelings and needs.

Narcissism has rarely been written about with the clarity and quiet insights of this modest, thought-provoking work. For those who have the ability to heal from the traumas they suffered by feeling the repressed feelings from those traumas, Alice Miller's books provide enough information to provoke a long-term emotional healing process. Download PDF Lesson 1: Gifted kids expect a lot of themselves which can lead to depression later in life. It happens when the child inside gets to a point when they can’t win acceptance with accomplishments any longer.Although I'm guessing there are better and more recent books that incorporate the same line of reasoning. Maybe I'm dense, because confronting and mourning should be pretty straight forward, but I would have still appreciated some more insight in how to do it.

If we choose to content ourselves with intellectual wisdom instead of emotional understanding, we will remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception. As long as they ignore their repressed life history, a person with this unsatisfied and unconscious need will nevertheless be compelled to attempt its gratification through substitute means. The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products.It is remarkably difficult for some people to even contemplate negative thoughts towards their parents. Every child has a legitimate need to be noticed understood, taken seriously, and respected by their parents. In becoming the “perfect” child of her parents’ dreams, the gifted child loses something very precious.

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