Patricia Wants to Cuddle

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The premise of [Allen’s] fiction debut novel sounds impeccable. It’s the best of romantic reality TV competition shows, the Pacific Northwest, and chosen family, mixed in with a queer Sasquatch.” - Meredith Carey, Condé Nast Traveler The writing was so good, and the characters were SO interesting and well-developed. Renee's character in particular was so fascinating to me, specifically in the way that she grapples with her sexuality throughout the book. She simultaneously feels "not queer enough" yet also "not straight enough" to feel like she's "allowed" to categorize herself into either group, which is a perspective I found so relatable and refreshing because it's unlike anything I've read before in queer literature. We need more queer stories in all forms, but I've never felt so seen and represented like that through a character before, so that was really special for me to experience.

At first, Amanda registers it as a dog or a bear, but it looks almost human, its contours twisting into an expression that is equal parts hunger and despair - a deep, almost prehistoric longing. Some kind of monkey? On Otters Island? Amanda yells at the animal. The contestants of a reality television dating show compete for love— and their lives— in this pulse-pounding and viciously funny fiction debut from the GLAAD Award-winning author of Real Queer America. This is a bland book, I truly don't know why I bothered with it until the end. The only thing it had going for it was the suspense of the story, I wanted to find out what happened in the end. When the contestants go to a remote island to go glamping, one night all hell brakes loose. One of the ladies goes missing, then there is a loud metallic bang heard that can be heard across the whole island, which could possibly be a car accident. More people start to go missing, and the island is not as it seems.

Picture a miniature version me spending recess scribbling stories and poems into a spiral notebook as I sat on some unbearably hot Southern California asphalt, and Patricia is basically the grown-up version of that childhood authorial fantasy. (Not to date myself, but it took well over three decades to make it a reality!) were some of the characters queer? yeah. but it's never expanded. like, one of the characters has a crush on another, and it seems like it's building to something but it just... never does? i love books that don't center a character's entire identity around their queerness, but, in this case, it wasn't done well. The stars are shining over them by the thousands, an otherworldly reminder of the television viewers that all of this was ostensibly for, except unlike Nielsen sets, the lights in the sky are silent and permanent, completely unmoved by the proceedings below. Real Queer America might be the best travel book of the year...a must-read for all Americans."―Refinery29

Each point of view is told in such a close third-person that you really get into the heads of each character. If there’s one who leaves a little left to be desired, it’s Vanessa (whose full name, by the way, is Vanessa Voorhees, which I absolutely read as a Jason reference, especially since Part Three of the novel really does have a Friday The 13th vibe). But overall, the character development in Patricia Wants To Cuddle works to suture real stakes to the thriller twists and cultural commentary on media consumption, social media fame, and flattening one’s life into a reality television arc. The story is something like the TV series "The Bachelor". In this case the contestants are on a reality TV Show called "The Catch" where single women, go on dates with one man and at the end of the show he chooses one of these women to be his "wife". PATRICIA WANTS TO CUDDLE is a fantastic, wild ride that was just pure fun. The plot is a bit bonkers, the twists and turns are unexpected and hilarious, and Samantha Allen just cemented herself as an auto-buy author for me! I enjoyed this book so much and only wish it was longer so that I could have lived in this world for a little more. It is a queer, in all senses of the world, romp that takes the idea of elimination with the confines of a reality show to a whole new level.

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The man with frosted tips twenty years past their expiration date says it like a question, but as he draws nearer to the Catch girls, Renee hears his tone become a touch more declarative. Another, Renee, finds herself questioning not only her motivations for coming on the show, but also her sexuality, as she finds herself drawn to a fellow contestant. As the “smart one”, Renee is the audience stand-in, horrified by the other women’s scheming, the manipulation by the producers, and the ugly truth behind the fantasy of the “reality show”. She’s disgusted by what she sees, but somehow incapable of turning away. It’s those same 22-year-olds who made me realize Patricia Wants to Cuddle would have a home in 2022. The kids have grown up and they want weird queer shit. In one short decade, we’ve gone from studios assuming that only men would be interested in a film like Jennifer’s Body to Showtime actively courting a female audience for a cannibalism drama that was executive produced by none other than Karyn Kusama. All of the character interactions and drama and connections felt completely pointless. At some points it felt like there was going to be some sort of development or greater understanding, but it just got thrown into the chaotic dumpster fire that made up the many half baked elements of this story. And I get that the male suitor is supposed to be a prop and is manufactured chauvinistic garbage, but once again ANY character development would be helpful. He was so flat and unoriginal. Holy SHIT this book took me for a ride in the best way. So much fun. It's the perfect blend of camp-y horror and reality TV show satire with a little splash of queerness (lesbian cults anyone??) that I absolutely loved.

Real Queer America ends on a note of hope, predicting that its portrait of queer lives will eventually become antiquated as America grows more and more inclusive of all genders and sexualities. But this will only happen if people of all kinds choose to create communities where we can thrive together. In giving us humanizing portraits of places that many queer people fear and will not visit, Allen has done much to close this divide, and now we, her readers, must take up this message and manifest it in our own lives."―LitHub Real Queer America is a delight to read...an engrossing journey full of humor, vulnerability, insight, and joy. What results is a beautiful tapestry of, well, the real queer America... Real Queer America is well-written and well-researched, and it's a blast to read, but perhaps its most essential question is that of how complicit 'blue state' LGBTQ people are in dismissing red states as scary places for queers. The whole world is scary, for queers and for everyone. Perhaps Real Queer America will inspire the reader to be more involved in fighting discrimination everywhere."―Rewire Moderators here. Let’s all be mindful of the forum rules about discussing contestants’ religions. T-Rex dropped spoilers in here 10 minutes ago and we’re already having to delete some comments. The gruesome prologue hints at what’s to come in this tale: ripped limbs, bodies bludgeoned, jaws blown off, heads ceremoniously removed. Otters Island, the fictional Pacific Northwest island where the novel is set, is a place of horrors — horrors that begin as a whisper, steadily crescendoing into a scream. Set in a Bachelor-style reality show where 4 women are competing for the interest of a mediocre man, there are lots of behind the scenes UnREAL-style vibes. It's biting and funny and also somehow sympathetic towards everyone. When filming takes the final contestants to a small island past its prime where women have previously gone missing, things take a turn.But anyway: While nothing overtly horrific happens in the first half of the novel (other than the prologue, where a dead animal is discovered by an Otters Island resident), things start to take a turn for the terrifying at around 50% of the way in during the show’s glamping excursion at the top of a mountain. Amanda, the ditzy fashion blogger and frontrunner of this season of ‘The Catch’, is violently dragged out of her luxury yurt by a female Sasquatch and not long afterwards, everyone is thrown into a panic when they realize she’s missing. T-Rex! I knew you would never abandon us. Some people were starting to think you had gone extinct (pun intended) but no way were you going to leave us in the dark when they’re about to wrap filming. Thank you for these spoilers, but also I’m #TeamAmanda so I kind of don’t want to believe you about Vanessa being the top choice. Genuinely funny, surprising, and even—at times—heartwarming. Recommended for fans of Grady Hendrix or Jessica Knoll.” - Diana Platt, Booklist Renee should be thrilled to have been chosen as one of the final four contestants in The Catch, the world’s biggest reality show. But now she, the other contestants, and Jeremy ‘the Catch’ have arrived on the remote, wooded island for the final show, Renee begins to wonder if there’s something wrong. Is she taking a bigger risk than she realised?