How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

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Why are so many cats posting pictures of themselves on the Internet? Should I be worried about my cat doing this? Some have said that our cats might have greater loyalty to other cats than to their country, but this is patently untrue. Just like how it’s written out, American cats are Americans first and cats second. I have no doubt that when there is some sort of incursion by the European Union or the United Nations to impose their sovereignty upon America, despite the presence of cats on both sides of the conflict, American cats will stand with us. Our cats were born here and they have tasted the sweet fruits of our democracy. It is prepawsterous to think that their blood would run any less red than that of a human American patriot. the last two chapters, on post-apocalyptic survival and satanism, are pure crazytown and feel discordant from the previous topics. guns are not balls of yarn. They shouldn’t be batted around or handled lightly. Always keep a secure grip on your gun. Humorous Yet Thought-Provoking Topics: The book covers a range of absurd scenarios, including gun safety, that are presented with a comedic twist. It humorously highlights the importance of responsible behavior and prompts readers to think critically about various everyday situations. It cleverly uses these scenarios as a platform to discuss broader issues surrounding safety and responsibility.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: and Abstinence How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: and Abstinence

Teaching my cat these skills seems like a waste of time. Are we really in danger of witnessing the collapse of civilization? How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety' by Zachary Auburn is a parody title. It skewers certain right wing ways of thinking about a variety of subjects. Related NLP Terms: pet owner, educate, feline companion, firearms, accidental shootings, gun safety So if you don’t want your cat to turn into some kind of pinko liberal, you need to read this book, and GO TALK TO YOUR CAT!

This is pretty much a one-joke book, the joke being that we can make minor changes to extreme conservative values and apply them to something completely silly like talking to your cat about the dangers of catnip. It’s a fun joke gift (which is how I got it) that you can use either to amuse your liberal friends or piss of your conservative friends. The choice is yours! HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CAT ABOUT GUN SAFETY manages to channel the survivalist, gun-hoarding, Alex Jones-watching mentality of people who would actually probably try to train their pets to shoot weapons. I didn't even think people like this existed outside of the internet until I was out running errands in the central valley and I saw a man wearing an oregone pyramid on top of a MAGA hat, with an Info Wars shirt, and what appeared to be a necrotic left toe. And then I was like holy shit. He was even holding his phone in one of those EMF protection bags. I guess in case the CNN satellites that are definitely targeting him decide to count the number of hate crimes in his web history, idk.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety - National Library How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety - National Library

while posing a potentially serious threat to your cat’s safety, should not be met with lethal force. In many cases it will suffice merely to maim the intruder. Just because your cat is the cutest little cutie-pie in the world does not mean they possess the higher brain functions and powers of reasoning necessary to decide the fate of every criminal who crosses your threshold. Also, if you are religious at all, you'll probably find yourself bristling at some point in every topic.A friend of mine got me this book for Christmas. I love cats and satire. It was the perfect gift. This short novel is filled with eight essential topics to speak with your cat about ranging from puberty to satanism. oh, and that's another thing - there will be puns. so many italicized puns. "now" becomes " meow," "paws" becomes " pawse," "moment" becomes " meowment," there's " pawsitively," " catastrophe," " purrfect," "pro catstinate," "pre pawsterous" (or, alternately, " purrposterous)," " furget," " mewlitias," " purrtriot," "a mewsing," " furocious," " purroblem," " purrpared," "mis purrception," " purrtect," " purrecipice, " furment," " furget," " purrvent," " mewraculous," " purrspective," " furminist," etc etc etc etc Your cat, whom you have already talked to about how a firearm is a tool and not a toy, and who has received extensive training on the proper handling of the weapon, discovers your firearm and accords it the respect it is due? By publishing your document, the content will be optimally indexed by Google via AI and sorted into the right category for over 500 million ePaper readers on YUMPU. propaganda and scare tactics of the liberal, Jew-run media that Americans second-guess the wisdom of having guns in their households—scare tactics that undoubtedly serve their greater agenda to overthrow the rightful leadership of the United States, and the subsequent imposition of a European-based one-world government.