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I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I’d like a bag. I said “no, I’ll just turn the lights off.”
A man approaches a gorgeous woman in a department store and says to her "I have lost my wife somewhere in here, would you be able to talk to me for a little while". Why couldn’t the husband speak to his wife for several years? Because she asked him never to interrupt her. Stress is when wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant & panic is when both are pregnantNow that you read out these inappropriate yet hilariously dirty jokes, we hope it made you laugh! Why not share these jokes at the end of the day when only the adults are left standing? Surely it will make them struggle to keep a straight face the entire time. If it was so fast that she couldn’t even blink, can you say it really happened? 6. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball!
Every one of us has probably done something nasty at some point in our lives. Why not try some short naughty jokes? For example, what becomes wetter as things get raunchy? Steamboats.I am dirty, I love being filled with wood, but someone only goes down on me once a year. What am I? An elderly couple was attending a church service. The lady turned towards her husband and said ‘‘I just let out a really long silent fart. What should I do?’’ The man smiled and said to her ‘‘honey, your hearing aid needs a battery replacement.’’ How do you make your girlfriend or wife scream when you are having intercourse? Call her and let her listen to it. A guy asked his girlfriend what he was like as a lover. “Warm,” she said. “Yes, that’s the word I’d use: ‘warm’.” He was flattered until he came home and looked up the meaning of the word “warm” in a dictionary. It said: “warm: not so hot.” Shoe Size
If they’re making cakes for divorces, why not ‘Happy Menopause!’ ‘Mmm, it’s a bit dry. Why is there no jam? Have you run out of eggs? Want to get laid? Then don’t ask God for beautiful women. Ask God for women who are both beautiful and horny. That would greatly increase your chances of getting laid. How do I know? I spoke with the universe. Sex Jokes Definitions Is there any difference between the Greyhound terminal and a lobster with b**bs? One of them is a crusty bus station and the other is a busy crustacean. Humor is great for physical intimacy. If you and your partner can laugh in bed, remember that you can get through the most challenging times together. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals.The man then asks, “Then tell me God, why on earth did you make women so dumb?” God immediately replied, “So they would love you.”
Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel. Have you ever been a victim of a silent fart? It comes out of nowhere! 5. How does a wiener go camping? In a Wiener-bago.The other day I was at a fancy dinner party… When I farted loudly. One of the guests objected indignantly, “How dare you fart in front of my wife!” I responded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that it was her turn next.” A man and a woman were having sex in the middle of the forest at night. At the end of a 10-minute romping session, the man got up and said, ‘dang, I wish I carried a flashlight.’ The woman replied, ‘Yeah, me too coz you’ve been banging grass for the past 10 minutes.’ If you are naive, you may not understand what to expect from short sexy jokes. You can get an idea from the offered one. What did the condom say to the penis? A. Protect me, I’m going in. Who wouldn’t want to enjoy some sultry banter with their partner? Flirty husband wife jokes are a great way to initiate laughter and conversations.
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