Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free

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Note: This is just tutorial showing how to use boundary boss or base tool, not showing any product drawing or designing in it. If you are advanced SolidWorks user please avoid it. This Solidworks tutorial is for beginners, students or people likes to learn about SolidWorks. Terri Cole: I don’t think it is. And, and what’s wrong with having a friggin preference? Knowing your preferences, your desires, and your deal-breakers, literally, that is what makes you uniquely you. So where did we get it in our minds that if we are to share our preferences that we’re burdening another person or that there’s something wrong with us? So, compatibility, is actually getting along, talking about real things, compromising, meeting in the middle, having respect for each other, having effective communication, all of those things? That’s real compatibility. Terri Cole: If we want to be honest in our lives, you have to learn to say no when you want to say no. And you’ve got to also be able to accept someone else’s no.

Terri Cole: There’s, there’s two things I want to say. I love that. So, with the social media stuff, there’s this thing as a meme going around. And I’m not sure who said it, I didn’t. But it was like, you know, you don’t have to, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to, right? Literally, you could be like you could RSVP, “No thanks.” Right? I’m not doing that. And, and really not allowing people who you certainly don’t know to hook you into these low vibration experiences. You will most likely not change that person. So I’m not talking about in your real life having real conversations, that is important. And she said, “You’ve worked really hard to create internal peace and a peaceful harmonious life. And your sister’s life kind of be in a dumpster fire is really messing with that peace that you have fought so hard for. So what you really want is you want her to get it together so that your pain can end.” Wow, I was like, “That’s a different frame, okay.”

Show Notes:

And one of the things that has really been so freeing for me, you might know this, Terri, because we’re friends, but for those listening who may not, you know, actually most of them should know this. I’m not that real big on social media in terms of like, I don’t spend much time there generally speaking. It’s like very not a big part of my life and I love it. Because I think that’s probably one of the places where people have the shittiest boundaries. And I can witness things. But in what you remember and the emotional impression and the neural pathways, when your attention is somewhere else, you will not remember that experience in the same way. So why are we distracting ourselves from our one and only life this time around? For what? To see what Reese Witherspoon, who I love, is talking about like, I don’t know. I feel like it can wait. Marie: Hi, Marie. I’m Marie from France. And I’ve been having trouble finding the right balance between being generous and flexible, and being more poised and respectful of my boundaries. So when I’m generous, I tend to give a lot of my time and energy but I feel like I’m a pushover. And on the other hand, when I have more solid boundaries, I feel like I may be too strict and the other person may take offense. So my question is, how do I know when I’m being too generous or too rigid with the other person? Thank you so much. If we look at the below image, we have generated 2 separate sketch lines that have been selected as curves in ‘Direction 2’, and are influencing the transition between the profiles that have been defined in ‘Direction 1’. Marie Forleo: Oh, my gosh, I love you so much. Yes. And I want to highlight, I want to underscore something that actually builds off this quite nicely. You wrote it on 64. “Your healing comes from having the courage to ask for what you authentically want regardless of what the other person does.” And I think that there’s so much in that especially for, for those of us who might be feeling just like we’re out in space in terms of boundaries like, “Whoa, how do I even get a grip on this?”

I’ve read several books about boundaries and I thought that the information conveyed was given in a simplistic and easy to understand manner. Some reviewers were put off by the use of endearments such as “babe” but I wasn’t. The casual tone was more encouraging for me and more like I was getting advice from a friend. There's a process that I walk the reader through where we are going into the basement of your mind, which is your unconscious mind. You’re opening up some boxes and going through the material in there because so much of what happens in our lives–especially the dysfunctional parts–is driven by unconscious material. The author has personal experience of boundary issues, as well as being a psychotherapist and realising that most of her clients have boundary issues.There are also various options on how your guide curves influence your loft. When creating a loft, a point on one profile is connected to the corresponding point on the next profile using connectors which can be seen in the image below: Marie Forleo: Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and welcome to another episode of MarieTV and The Marie Forleo Podcast. If you’re someone who struggles with setting good boundaries, you’re going to love today’s episode. Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert. For over two decades, Terri has been working with clients and her special gift is taking complex psychological concepts and making them actionable and accessible. She inspires over a quarter million people each week through her courses, blog, and podcast, The Terri Cole Show. Her book, Boundary Boss, is available now. Terri Cole: She is telling the truth. But this is what, when we over give, when we over function for others, this is what I call high functioning codependency, right? Because we can kind of do it all but not forever.

Terri Cole: To become a boundary boss, as in to be healthy with your boundaries, you need to know what your preferences, your desires, your limits, and your deal breakers are. You have to be able to clearly and concisely communicate those boundaries if you so choose. In this example, I going to show you how to apply boundary boss or base feature tool to two sketch profile. Here, I am going to create one closed profile (e.g: circle, Rectangle or polygon) and one open sketch (curve) profile. Then, I will show you how to apply this feature tool to these sketch profiles. Meditation has the power to create space in between your thoughts. This gives you more control over what happens in your mind. As women, we want to be “good girls.” We want to be nice, generous, and kind. But what we also want is the dumpster fire of that other person's life to stop ruining our peace. We think if we could just fix their problems, then maybe we can rest. Terri Cole: But when we really unravel this, there is something else driving a lot of times that over-giving, and not just the obvious “I want to be liked,” or “I want to be the hero.” You know, I was the hero child in my family of origin. So, being helpful to others and, and being the one who knew what people should do was incredibly ingrained in my life.In Boundary Boss , psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Terri Cole: Yeah, that’s, that’s so mind-blowing when I got that in my life that a lot of my clients would be like, “But, I don’t know, I kind of feel empty, I’m not sure. But, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I mean, my relationship is perfect. We never fight. Like it’s just perfect.” I was like, “Well, I don’t know, you might feel empty for lots of reasons but just because you don’t fight actually doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re being seen or heard or known, that you are deeply connected to this person. So you’ve mastered the art of avoiding conflict, and that’s one thing. But is that, does that really, is that the marker of an excellent relationship? It’s not.” Cole: Clean agreements are expressed agreements. We make no assumptions about what's happening and we are managing expectations for all involved. The same as when you start a new job, you have a clear agreement of terms. You might compromise on one part of that agreement, but you do not start that job without a clear promise of terms. Clean and clear agreements involve anticipating everything that could go wrong and putting a proactive boundary in place. Terri Cole: We, we definitely do not need the machete, but what is interesting is that in all the scripts, because I gave every scenario you could find yourself in, from in-laws, to neighbors, to narcissists, to everybody, you can make them your own. So you will find a way. And we also have sentence starters where, listen, if it’s someone who I love, then I, then I want to start with something positive. And say, “You know, Betty, I love that you always think of me and I always think to ask me these things, like it makes, it really makes me so happy that you do and yet I can’t go on Sunday to whatever, but thank you.”