Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

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I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard people tell me they came to my comedy shows by themselves and met really cool people they became friends with. And if the idea of this terrifies you, it’s so helpful to see this less as, “Oh no, I’m gonna look like a loser who is alone” and more like, “What if I meet another cool person who is also there alone and we bond, and because I went alone, I created space for that to happen?” If you can figure out what you like doing and what you don’t like doing, it can give you a better idea of your strengths and weaknesses. Some advice, like the tips on reaching out to others and creating invitations / frequenting inviting places to foster community are helpful. Perhaps you feel a little lost because you have yet to identify something that really fills you with joy and passion.

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Take up space with the people you think might be “your” people. Practice being open, saying what you feel, and being present with them. See how they react. The ones who stay with you in those moments of vulnerability, not judging you or criticizing you, are truly your people. The New York Times bestselling author of Get Out of Your Head offers practical solutions for creating true community, the kind that's crucial to our mental and spiritual health. In Pastor Fred’s culture, it’s normal for elders to coparent people’s children. Rwandans hold each other to Jesus’s standard and let each other know when they aren’t living up to it. Whether they’re blood-related or not, everyone holds each other accountable.I think fans of Jennie and other Christian Living books will love this one. It's needed, easy to read, and practically helpful. I even think those who don't typically like this kinds of books, like me, will find it worthwhile. This is one that I will end up purchasing for our church and rereading. Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find your true identity. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. What Does It Feel Like To Be Lost? If it’s a group that meets in real life, volunteer your home for a meeting or offer to help out at an event; if it’s one person, invite him or her out to partake in the interest you share. You may feel awkward, but that’s okay. Awkward just means you’re stretching yourself. 5. Be honest and present.

Find Your People by Jennie Allen: 9780593193402

You’ve already taken the first step just by searching for and reading this article. The worst thing you can do right now is nothing. The best thing is to speak to a therapist. The next best thing is to implement everything you’ve learned in this article by yourself. The choice is yours. And whilst some steps are arguably more important than others, they all deserve at least some time and attention. 1. Identify Your Personality Type They may be able to identify aspects of your personality that have eluded you and they may know the types of things that make you happy or stressed. For every situation you face, try to identify any feelings you might have and ask what the root causes are of those feelings. I kept looking, following my heart into another group within the same larger community. This time, they seemed to genuinely accept me, to like me, to respond to me, to open up to me, and to both value me and appreciate that I valued them. And I did value them—I do. They’re a bunch of amazing creative, smart, motivated, fun, and genuine people. And it was like night and day.

Think about how you typically spend your evenings and weekends. Most of the time, you probably sit at home, either alone or with a small number of roommates or family members. You make dinner for just you. You buy everything you could possibly need, making sure to never bother your neighbors for anything. And you spend hours staring into a screen –⁠ comfortable, safe, and entertained. But also sad. I love the idea of having a small group of friends that you get together with and be really involved with. I love the idea of weekly get togethers. I loved the biblical preaching of man is not made to be alone and how it goes into details about that. I love the sense of community. I love sharing the really ugly and the good and getting real about life. So yes, there is a lot of good to this book.