What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing

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This book was recommended to me by a fellow mother at a baby group when I mentioned my fear I wasn't doing my best as a mother and felt overwhelmed. It took me a couple years to finally get around to getting and reading this book and my only regret is that I didn't do so earlier!

What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing by What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing by

A woman who becomes a mother protects her little ones and learns to defend them from everything and everyone. If by tidying up the house you think you’ve put things in their place, wait for a mother to come by and display her judgment. You’ll observe that she achieves a balance and proportion in the arrangement of things that only a mathematical equation can unravel. Good mothers show up. Good mothers sometimes can’t show up. Good mothers try to make up for not showing up. Fathers are a vital part of family life. I haven’t written much about their perspective because surely fathers should speak for themselves. Also, I see a mother’s role as unique, not interchangeable with a father’s, and one that needs to be better understood. The much-used word ‘parenting’ often blankets over the crucial contribution of mothers. We need more words to validate what mothers are doing, especially as they start to relate to their babies, and then as they continue relating totheir growing children, for the rest of their lives. Another thing every mom does for her kids is love them unconditionally. Mothers know about feelings. They know what unconditional love is, love at first sight, the ideal partner. They’re specialized in attachment, affection, devotion…

Good mothers never neglect their tooth fairy duties. Good mothers write creative apology letters from the tooth fairy after forgetting for the second (or seventh) time. Good mothers don’t do the tooth fairy at all. Because every family situation is unique, there cannot be one single blueprint for being a good mother. Mothers struggle with all kinds of practical difficulties to establish and maintain warm relationships with their children. I liked this a lot. There is the "mothering is the most important work" platitude, and then there is the "you should really be using your degree/you are just a SAHM/you must not be a feminist" that you get from people. And sometimes you get them from the same person. It could give one whiplash. This book is a great way to center yourself and realize what you are doing, that it is transient and necessary, and that it has value beyond the platitudes.

What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen | Waterstones What Mothers Do by Naomi Stadlen | Waterstones

Fascinating to see my thoughts that's so difficult to put into words being outlined in here. Also some that I thought would make me be categorized as weird... turns out to be pretty normal. Not all applicable or happening to me, but these non-applicable things are still good to know. This is the perfect book for mothers of young babies. Reading it is like having someone give you a hug and reassure you that what you do all day is valid and important. The study also found that mums take their role very seriously – a third of those polled described themselves as overprotective of their children.

Marrone, M., Diamond, N., Juri, L., & Bleichmar, H. (2001). La teoría del apego: un enfoque actual. Madrid: Psimática.