Babysitting The Baumgartners

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Henry and Janie, you need to go in the house!” Mrs. Baumgartner called, stretching out on her stomach on the blanket. Brandt takes a pornographer's perspective to the material that is unfortunate. There are plenty of opportunities for conflict or confrontation, but if one starts, as porno people are wont to do, from a "sex is everything" and "repression of impulses is bad" point-of-view, then every chance encounter turns to full-blown passionate sex. Sara is seduced by the beautiful couple, but early on I was wary of their motives and expected something to happen. Other than a momentary sort of twist at the very end, not part of the film proper, nothing comes of their bringing Sara into their bed, other than a lot of sexual activity for us to watch. This has in itself been a staple of romance fiction, as Leslie Rabine points out in her much-lauded 1985 article "Romance in the Age of Electronics: Harlequin Enterprises." Moreover, Rabine argues, the conflation of work and romance is deliberately utopian:

I knew I was staring, but I couldn’t help it. Her skin was smooth and tawny-even there. Her nipples were brown, vastly different from my light pink ones. Your top.” She massaged oil into her thighs and calves. “You can take it off-so you won’t have any tan lines.” I wish I still had the body of a nineteen-year-old.” She gave a sad little laugh. “So firm and tight. There’s not a crease or a wrinkle on you, is there?” When Mrs. Baumgartner—who insists on calling her Veronica—invites Ronnie along on their yearly vacation, the nanny jumps at the chance.

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Her books EcoErotica (2009), The Real Mother Goose (2010) and Heidi and the Kaiser (2011) were all Epic Award Finalists. Her only gay male romance, Second Chance, won the Epic Award in Erotica in 2011. Her story, Connections, was one of the runners-up for the 2006 Rauxa Prize, given annually to an erotic short story of “exceptional literary quality.”

Her writing embodies everything from the spicy to the scandalous, but watch out-this kitty also has sharp claws and her stories often include intriguing edges and twists that take readers to new, thought-provoking depths.I used to have my little sister, Amy, go babysit whenever I had a conflict. That usually meant I had a date-and the Baumgartners hated it when I started dating. Really, it was a hardship for me, too. Tough call-a date with Toby Lumetto, or babysitting the Baumgartners? Amy complained the kids never behaved for her, but they always did for me. They were great kids. Mrs. B hummed something to herself, but I didn’t know the tune. The rhythmic sound of the waves against the shore had me drifting in and out. Far away, I heard a dog bark. She turned her face to mine, smiling at me. “Well, thank you for the compliment.” I saw her eyes move down over my breasts, and I was aware of how hard my nipples were.

I was fifteen when I started babysitting for the Baumgartners. They had two kids. Henry and Janie were four and five the first time I sat in their living room eating pizza and watching “Lilo and Stitch” with them. I still remember them that way, both conked out on the floor, their greasy faces smearing their mom’s white carpet. The kids stopped at their mother’s warning and treaded through the sand toward us. They really were great kids. I wished sometimes my sisters and I got along as well as they did. Mr. B’s hand was warm against my side, just resting there. It made my breasts tingle, and I flushed when I realized I wanted her to touch them-to touch me. I wanted to close my eyes and my mind against the thought, but the blur of motion above drew my attention again. I knew I shouldn’t be watching, but I couldn’t help it. If I can get a tan, that will be reward enough.” I grabbed the oil next to my towel and poured some into my hands. I worked more of it into my thighs and over my smooth, flat belly. I noticed her watching me. “Do you want some?” The morning after we arrived, Mrs. Baumgartner came out and joined me on the beach. I was supervising the kids, who were busy making some sort of sand castle-really, it was more of a sand village, as it already spanned half the beach! What I was really doing was trying to read a Nora Roberts novel while simultaneously working on my nonexistent tan, but I was bored.

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You have lovely breasts,” she murmured, and I felt her shoulder pressing against mine where it hadn’t been a moment ago. Do you shave?” she repeated, opening one eye to look at me. “I wax, myself. It’s much easier and takes care of things for a lot longer down there, if you know what I mean.” Also, the need to broaden the action beyond just 3 people (and avoid a relentlessness like Oshima's claustrophobic "In the Realm of the Senses" and its nuclear couple) injects AJ Applegate as another au pair, suitable for humping. Brandt very awkwardly adds her to the story, at first in a teaser scene in which Kay herself appears, looking quite glamorous for a mere cameo, bringing AJ over to visit the beach house. Who Kay's character is and what her relationship is to AJ is not revealed, at best I gathered she is an old pal of Carrie's. After this intro, AJ does not reappear until hours later on Disk 2 of the DVD set, available for romantic action as Sara rather sarcastically shows her how to take care of the little kid. Following porn tradition (see especially PT's "The Masseuse" as a famous case in the Clint Eastwood "American Sniper" vein) the child is never shown. When she’s not pawing away at her keyboard, Selena runs an innovative publishing company ( excessica.com) and bookstore ( excitica.com), as well as two erotica and erotic romance promotion companies ( excitesteam.com and excitespi ce.com) and she now runs the Erotica Readers and Writers Association. Do you have a micro-bikini?” Mrs. B’s eyes were closed again. I stared at her body, the generous swell of her copper-colored flesh, her big, dark nipples. Hers were hard, too.