A Pocketful of Happiness

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I've always liked Richard E Grant, ever since my family watched his version of The Scarlet Pimpernel yearly like it was some kind of religious ritual and later, as an older teen, I found his autobiographical film Wah Wah about childhood trauma, colonialism and being the outsider quite powerful (especially since my granddad actually lived for a bit in Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe, and described similar experiences) and his exuberance on social media about everything is endlessly endearing. I felt for him when he publicly announced losing his wife on socials and his enduring love for her was palpable #couplegoals. I was therefore quite interested in reading this memoir. I entered into this book under the notion it would be solely focussed on Grant’s experience of losing his wife. Understandably so, given the memoir’s title is the parting advice upon her death, in addition to Grant’s press tours where he continually touted this as a memoir on Joan’s terminal cancer. One of the bravest, strongest, funniest memoirs I’ve ever read.” —Bonnie Garmus, New York Times bestselling author of Lessons in Chemistry I’m a retired character actor, and my real name is Peter Grant, but I had to change it in 1929, as there was an actor with that name already.”

But it’s also possible that he hopes to make the reader understand that it doesn’t matter how many glamorous friends a person has if their true love is dying. Widowed, Grant isn’t particularly articulate. It’s enough for him simply to tell us, over and over, how happy he and Washington were together, that they mated, like swans, for life. Nevertheless, those things that he is able to describe – the sight of her tapestry kit by their bed, the way he still talks to her even though she is no longer in the world – have a universality about them, an ordinariness that resonates. Darkness falls on us all eventually, even on those who know Elton John well enough to receive his condolences by phone. The details of Joan’s diagnosis with lung cancer, the various tests and treatments she undergoes, how she and her family come to terms with her terminal prognosis, and her death are all described with an honesty that I know many readers will appreciate. It is great to hear that they were so well-supported by the NHS and by their friends so that Joan could die at home. The BAFTA Film Awards will be broadcast from the Southbank Centre’s Royal Festival Hall in London on February 19. As soon as I saw any of the other actors, I always had hundreds of questions for them, I was asking, ‘What’s going on? What have you been doing?’ That was a unique experience for me, because normally you’re interacting with other people all the time. I was like somebody who had Coronavirus, I couldn’t be with other people, I just had to be with the camera on my own.”

Table of Contents

Lying shoulder to shoulder, I look across to where this “dark mass” is hiding inside her. Waiting. Just like we are, on the outside, waiting to identify what it’s doing and how far it’s spread. Academy Award–nominated actor Richard E. Grant’s memoir about finding happiness in even the darkest of days. Any chance you might consider my inserting a single capital letter in between, as I don’t have the funds to get all my printed photos redone?” Having said all that, I found his story very moving in parts. This is a man who really, really, really loved his wife and meant it and lived it every day of their relationship. As Joan drew closer to death, I think REG tapped into some universal experiences around grief in an open and honest way that really touched me. I also realised, with a terrible lump in my throat, that Joan died almost the exact same date and time one of my best friend's did, albeit a year later and for a second it didn't matter who REG was. We were both united in the universal pain of grief which does not discriminate by race or wealth or identity. It is a difficult read in moments and will certainly make you consider how you might react when a loved one passes away, as we will all experience at some point. But consider this book not a burden, but a balm. A reminder that there is life and hope and love all around us.

Attempting to be “normal” in this uniquely abnormal situation exhausts us all, and we’re in bed by 9 p.m.Walk, lurch downstairs, utterly overwhelmed and discombobulated. Tears blurring everything. Grateful to have something to do. Come on, my inner cynic said. Grant has worked with everyone: Coppola, Scorsese, Altman. Would he really self-combust over a tweet from Streisand? Also, I knew full well he’d met her before: in With Nails, he describes – in some detail – talking with her at a party while he was making The Player in the 1990s. And yet, just minutes after Grant yelled at me at the Oscars, he was then “introduced” to Streisand, and uploaded photos of him looking delirious with happiness next to her. What a phoney, I grumped at the time. Martin Amis once wrote that the very act of writing is an act of love, and that’s what I feel writing about Joan. The best responses I’ve had to the book so far are people saying they feel like they got to know who Joan is – was,” he corrects himself.