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The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

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Help get this into the hands of young people, and some inexpensive way for average folks to be personally guided, as books and ADHD often don't mix well. Thank you, also, for your teleseminar, Melissa. It was well done. I may retrain to assist in this field, seeing the huge need.

There is little focus on navigating the challenges. Relationships tools are briefly covered. Then it is followed by how miserable people are. Overview: A team of ADHD and ADHD relationship experts ready to help you turn your relationship around Next, ask your partner what drew them to you initially. What qualities made them fall for you? What do they cherish in you? Which of those characteristics do you feel proud of? This will help you reconnect with who you are beyond any unhelpful behavioral patterns that have developed.

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If this resonates with you, re-establishing a fulfilling relationship with your partner might seem completely unrealistic – whether or not you’re the one with ADHD. But it can be done with commitment, curiosity, and compassion.

Misconceptions abound regarding ADHD, especially ADHD in adults. For those who discredit the legitimacy of an ADHD diagnosis or deny that ADHD affects every aspect of a person's life, this book will offer both a scientific and personal perspective on what ADHD is and how it disrupts marriages -- often without detection. If you are reading my review and either one or. Out of you have adhd in your marriage. This is a really solid plan that sounds like it's going to work! ADHD creates many challenges in a relationship, particularly if the ADHD is untreated or undertreated. But it's not just ADHD symptoms - the other spouse's response to the those symptoms is equally important in how you get along. Part of the reason your relationship has gotten worse over the years is because your reactions have become faster and more emotional. I learned this the hard way and, as I was struggling to figure out what we could possibly do to make things better - just as you are struggling today - I realized that there just wasn't much information available about why my marriage was so hard.This bias aside though, I think this book is both informative and provides great tips for an ADHD-i flicted couple. One way to cultivate empathy in your relationship is through letter writing. If you have ADHD, write a letter to your partner explaining what it’s like to live with your mile-a-minute brain. Stay focused on your experiences and feelings, not your marriage or relationship. This will offer your partner a glimpse of what you deal with every day, explaining that your behaviors aren’t the result of laziness or self-interest. Use your letter as a way to start a conversation where both of you can be curious about the other’s perspective in an open, non-judgmental way.

Melissa Orlov is the author of two award-winning books on the impact of ADHD in relationships - The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010) and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD (2014, with Nancie Kohlenberger) and is considered one of the foremost authorities on the topic. A marriage consultant, Melissa helps ADHD-affected couples from around the world rebalance their relationships and learn to thrive. She also teaches mental health professionals about effective marriage therapy for couples impacted by ADHD. Orlov blogs for Psychology Today and at www.adhdmarriage.com, where she also hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in relationships. She has been interviewed by the New York Times, CNN, Today, US News and World Report, CB Melissa Orlov is the author of two award-winning books on the impact of ADHD in relationships - The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010) and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD (2014, with Nancie Kohlenberger) and is considered one of the foremost authorities on the topic. A marriage consultant, Melissa helps ADHD-affected couples from around the world rebalance their relationships and learn to thrive. She also teaches mental health professionals about effective marriage therapy for couples impacted by ADHD. Orlov blogs for Psychology Today and at www.adhdmarriage.com, where she also hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in relationships. She has been interviewed by the New York Times, CNN, Today, US News and World Report, CBS, AOL, the American Psychological Association Monitor and many others. Ms. Orlov is a cum laude graduate of Harvard College.) To demonstrate how this method works, let’s explore it through an imaginary couple – Alex and Beth. Say Beth feels upset by something Alex said to her – a common habit of people with low impulse control. Something resembling the Gottman's weekends and therapist training is needed to offer a lifeline to the many couples headed for divorce unnecessarily, if they just had help. Interactive settings are often much better in getting through to ADHD folks than books. Having a respected presenter say the same things the non-ADHD partner is trying to express should increase credibility, and open the door to understanding. Books are simply not enough. A non-profit method to provide this help to lower income folks would have a huge impact. Will help validate and clarify relationship struggles. It will help clarify that you’re not crazy as the none ADHD spouse With 16 years of this marital challenge behind us, divorce was very much on it's way, and yet with this book we both have a new ally, a resurgence of hope. I will go to the next therapist, put this in his or her hands, and say "read this, and handle us this way".Orlov's work is a beacon of light and hope, offering strategies that help couples feel happier and more satisfied." If you want a book that will help you finally understand why your spouse acts in certain ways and how you can make their lives and your own life better going forward then read it. If your spouse also reads it, great. But even if only you read it, you're enlightening yourself. When ADHD is part of a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to remember that the adult with ADHD is the only person who has the right to decide whether or not to seek treatment. Why should you read the first? Because about 90% of “The ADHD effect on marriage” actually describes abusive behavior.

Restore the love and joy in your relationship by understanding how ADHD influences behavioral patterns. Secondly, some of the advice was sound, but other suggestions were obviously not being provided by a professional. I just finished the book, so the first that comes to mind is her suggestion that people with ADHD might go to bed with their spouse for "cuddle time" and then stay in bed on their phone or laptop until they're ready for bed. Anyone with trouble sleeping knows that you should never look at a screen before bed, especially while you're IN bed. The fact that the author is not actually licensed in any way but is just "experienced" definitely comes through sometimes. I got through it fine. But I've also done a decent amount of work on myself in this area before listening to the book. Even with that, the general tone throughout the book was still very difficult at times. We work with both couples and individuals (with ADHD, or partnered with someone with ADHD), providing the consulting services appropriate to each situation. In some cases, you may choose to work with both a consulting coach and a couples’ consultant to get comprehensive support. The book has good intentions, but seems to reflect the author’s difficulties faced as the non ADHD spouse. It helped identify the ADD challenges earlier in my life. However, listening to the book has left me depressed and feeling hopeless. I got about four hours into the book before I finally had to stop. It wasn’t getting better.Consider treatments to manage ADHD characteristics. Medications, skills training, and psychotherapy can help manage different aspects of adult ADHD, such as impulsivity, disorganization, and poor motivation. Encourage your partner to consider talking to their doctor about steps they can take to manage some of these characteristics.

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