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Sex For Dummies (For Dummies: Psychology & Self Help)

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Use barrier methods the correct way every time you have sex. Barrier methods should be used on body parts and toys for any vaginal, anal, or oral sex.

Deciding which contraceptive to use takes some thinking. And these days, because of sexually transmitted diseases, you may choose to use more than one, because not every birth control method protects against STDs. If you have no desire to cause a pregnancy, please read Chapter 5 carefully so that you’ll be prepared when the time comes to have sex. (And if you’re worried about STDs, please read Chapter 19 as well.) Adjusting Over Time No two people are the same when it comes to sexual pleasure, and you have all sorts of ways of getting to the main goal of having sex: the pleasure of an orgasm. Some people prefer to have sex alone, others like oral sex, while others like to engage in intercourse with a partner of the same sex. All of those topics are covered here. Consent means making sure everyone wants to participate, feels safe, and is enjoying the activity the whole timeFertilization occurs when the chromosomes and genes from both the sperm and the egg combine to form one single cell, called a zygote. As a result, instead of an identical copy of one of the parents (a clone), fertilization creates a unique individual that shares features of both parents. So now you know the reason you have your father’s nose and your mother’s feet: At least once in their lives, your parents mingled their genetic material.

S-e-x isn’t a bad three-letter word—but many of us are afraid to talk about it. In this new edition of the fun and comprehensive guide to sex, you’ll find out how to approach intimacy in a new way to get the most pleasure from a physical relationship. Written by the world’s favorite expert on the topic, Dr. Ruth helps you explore the ins and outs of dating and commitment, talk about sex with partners, and consider any health and social issues you may encounter along the way.

If you’re not sure where you want to go, you may want to start with Part I. It gives you all the basic info you need to understand sex and points to places where you can find more detailed information. Is sex just the way we differentiate ourselves, male and female? Or is it the means by which we reproduce? Is it a yearning that makes us go a bit crazy until we can satisfy those urges? Or could it be the key to exchanging extreme pleasure? Maybe it’s a way of cementing a relationship. What makes sex so amazing is that it’s all of those, and more. Having unprotected anal sex, penis-in-vagina sex, and even oral sex (though rarely) can transmit HIV

Just because a woman is fertile only a few days a month, don’t assume that those are the only days that unprotected sexual intercourse can make her pregnant. A woman’s reproductive organs are much more complicated than that, as I explain in Chapter 3. Of course, your sex life can receive a negative impact in ways other than the normal aging process. The longer we live, the greater the odds that fate will throw us a curve or two. The onset of one disease or another can change the way you have sex. But again, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your sex life is over, only that some adjustments will be needed. Want to know what those adjustments are? Turn to Chapter 18. bullet If something goes wrong and neither one of us has an orgasm, will I ever want to see this person again? Rowley J, Vander Hoorn S, Korenromp E, Low N, Unemo M, Abu-Raddad LJ, et al. Global and regional estimates of the prevalence and incidence of four curable sexually transmitted infections in 2016. WHO Bulletin. 2019 Jun. Available from: https://www.who.int/bulletin/online_first/BLT.18.228486.pdf bullet Sexual Desire Phase: The Sexual Desire Phase, sometimes called the libido, precedes actual physical or psychological stimulation. This part of the model is Dr. Kaplan’s alone. Dr. Kaplan observed that certain chemicals in the body (primarily testosterone — the male sex hormone, which is also present in females) trigger these inner sexual feelings. Sexual excitement builds upon these feelings.This phase is usually generated by one or a combination of several physical, visual, or psychological stimuli, which can be caused either by oneself or a partner. Foreplay (which I cover in Chapter 7) usually gets these responses started. Workowski KA, Bolan GA; Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Sexually transmitted diseases treatment guidelines, 2015. MMWR Recomm Rep. 2015 Jun 5;64(RR-03):1-137. Available from: https://www.cdc.gov/std/tg2015/tg-2015-print.pdf This Catch-22 makes having good sex difficult — you get the information before you need it, and you forget what you learned by the time you do need it. Or you get the facts so confused that they’re not helpful to you.

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