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I could see why the area we were fast approaching was home to a detention centre for illegal immigrants, a former nuclear missile testing ground and hot spot for UFO sightings. There was nothing. For miles around, nothing. Just red earth, a bit of scrub, and the wind and sky. I must admit as well as watching for the clouds to clear up even more, I was constantly on the lookout for any unusual aerial phenomena as I'd thoroughly done my research and the probability for a sighting was in my estimation, high. Tears had welled up in my eyes and I just wanted to cry it was so beautiful, but I had to catch myself in front of the guys, as I didn't want to come across as a complete lunatic. I didn't even know what to think myself. I had to process this. It was happening so fast. So I composed myself and said something like, "Wow. That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." (twice in one day, shit, what was happening to me?), and I found it very hard to tear myself away from the telescope after that . Anyway now you have the latest earth-shattering facts and fantasies of my so-called life. Civil servitude continues and the days drag on. I have some feelers out for vague connections to generate art and space and support. We now have a power shower and the new cooker and washing machine and tumble dryer are paid for and awaiting delivery. We will never go short of a clean diaper when the time comes. Debts mount for same. It amazes me how childish he becomes with his hand on my breast. "Thankyou," he says. "That's nice of you," he whispers. No oneelse can hear.

We'd gone from being complete strangers to all being deeply transformed in some way by our meeting, in three and a half days. We'd trusted in our flexibility in each moment, and stretched ourselves beyond our normal comfort zones, creating or participating in large and small miracles, so it seemed, at every turn. We used our brains, which came as a great joy to me as I don't get to talk quantum physics with many of my disco friends. It's not their fault I know...but it was a nice change. I also knew that I'd helped to open up their perspective in many ways, as they did for me, in HUGE ways. My heart knew that I had been drawn to them because their soul's urge for change, and expansion, had already begun, by nudging them into unconsciously creating the conditions for me to enter their lives. I'd definitely sent out a call for them too, for the same reasons. The difference was that they had no idea I was coming along. I, on the other hand, had been certain that I would find them. The key here is matching the pressure of your hand to the pressure of your mouth, so it feels like one fluid motion." In the eyes of the Thule Gesellschaft, from which later emerged the DAP (German Workers' Party), the NSDAP (N I've a talent sir, that's all," the little man explained. "Name's Jumbo, Jumbo Carson. Now, my client, that is to say, Ms Pike- Bridget Pike, has an offer for you-" Mary said, "Sure," as they headed over and both of them refolded the blanket to a small square and laid it down. Mary sat down with her legs together and to the side a bit. So far her panties seemed to be hidden. Mark sat and they continued to talk.It's bedtime here. I have been thinking about this, I will write it tomorrow, or start, it will include this, grow out of this. This will be the immediate aspect. The rest will happen, from notes made around the time and retrieved memories. It might take the rest of the week to pull it out, but I will.

Yes, I will write it, we can also find it in our exchange, and yes, it can include fiction, of course. But then what is fiction? Perhaps it’s the story we tell ourselves convincing ourselves that it’s true, those self-justifications we invent to make moving forward possible, that greasing of those wheels. We got on the next bus, me alone behind the driver in 1A again, and them just a few seats behind. I spent a bit of time visualising a bright blue, cloudless sky for the eclipse, and reminding myself to be in the moment, trusting as much as possible that life would take me where I needed to go, as the frequencies of gratitude for all that had occurred up until then filled me and flowed outwards from me. All the seeds sown by reading the CWG series which had tied up so many loose ends for me in my esoteric studies, were beginning to sprout and I wanted to breathe as much life into them as possible. I wanted to see how they might grow, as I did. I thought about Time. Then I slept deeply. That's the day I found out, after a little search, but I will make it into a story. But no, on re-reading, I see it isn’t the day I found out, it’s 12 days later. I have no idea what happened in those intervening days. Julieta Chiaramonte, a kink instructor, writer, and sex expert, says that you should let your partner know that you’re very open to receiving guidance. "If [they’re] receiving a blowjob, remember that no one knows [their] penis the way [they] do," she says. "It’s important to give a partner direction on how [you] like to receive oral sex." Steve spotted a grassy area off to the side a bit and in the shade. He said, "How about we spread the blanket over there? It looks really nice in the shade."Like any sexual experience, oral sex is often best when you play the long game. Work your way up to engaging the most pleasurable areas of your partner's body to ensure they feel the most arousal and tension possible, Sabat suggests. In this scenario, start with the vulva and lips. I am searching in the stuff I have here from around that time. There is not a lot, I think I sort of temporarily shut down. There are some breadcrumbs scattered. The next part seems to be about results, t-cell counts and the like. I can certainly fill in the gaps somewhat. I remember distinctly telling a few people, and their inappropriate reactions, which made me angry. Some fed me some 'choices' shit, as in "you made bad choices" sort of way. I knew that I had been true. I also knew already that there was no such thing as ‘freedom of choice’, no such chimera as ‘free Will’. Those ghosts were the terrors of childhood, they were over, as dead as ‘God’. And for the next two and a half days Gerard, Alan and myself ended up staying together. I gave them several opportunities to ditch me, but we were really having a lot of fun, and they would always invite me to stay on. We were well matched intellectually, but we all had quite different worldviews, so it was nice challenge for us to be mutually respectful of each other's ideas while trying to challenge one another as coherently as possible. We spent much time on the road exchanging ideas, trying on stuff for size, or sometimes throwing them in the 'too hard" basket. If Alan slept then Gerard and I would talk about stuff and vice versa. They both worked as computer technicians, which is how they met, and pretty early on it became obvious to me that some of my ideas about reality were pretty hard for them to hear. They were always open-minded enough to let me speak though, and they'd bounce things off me. We talked sporadically about some of the ideas in the CWG books that were relevant to that moment, or about a particular insight I'd had, or how you might apply some of the ideas to your daily living, and it sparked much interest and debate. I found out about a year later that Alan and Gerard had both decided to give the books a read a few months after our trip, which was brilliant.