The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them

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Putting xx at the end of a clearly unhappy or berating text is the very definition of passive aggressive. Boundaries have been this buzz-word that I’ve used in my new years resolutions but I wasn’t exactly sure what that looked like until this book.

The first time you do, it’s awkward and weird, but that’s usually how it goes when you set your first boundary.

This does include me to an extent, and honestly as this was gifted by a friend I got a lot more out of this than I thought I might. I’m usually sceptical of self help books, but I love Michelle’s Instagram account and I was intrigued by the concept of boundaries, so I decided to give this a try. Michelle Elman is a five-board accredited life coach, host of the podcast “In All Honesty,” and author of the book Am I Ugly?

If you answer true to such things as, “I find it hard to voice my opinions when I disagree with someone,” this book is definitely for you. Such an important book for all of us figuring out how we best take care of ourselves in the modern/busy world, and what it looks like to have healthy boundaries with friends and family. After the stresses of the pandemic, many people crave self-care, but are still reluctant to prioritize their own needs, said Michelle Elman, author of the new book, “ The Joy of Being Selfish: Why you need boundaries and how to set them. Michelle Elman is a leading part of the body positivity movement that has been gathering momentum to liberate people from these unrealistic standards, recognise that all bodies are equally valuable and broaden the billboard definitions of beauty. really enjoyed this book and applied what I learned and unlearned irl:) michelle is a wonderful example of the strong person I want to be and her book is amazing for setting boundaries with friends, family, your partner, and understanding that healthy communication is one of the most important skills in life!Of course it should not matter if people like you or not, and being liked should not be a motivation for your behaviour -- but when your friends start to turn away from you, then you may need to question why that is. As for being disliked, “there are 8 billion people in the world and there's no way that everyone can like you,” she said. My own life experience (I'm twice her age) has shown me how people with too many boundaries eventually come crashing off their self-appointed pedestals with a bump, and end up needing to do even more healing as a result. Think of it as vocalizing what you want, asking for what you need and being very clear and honest about your boundaries.