No Matter What

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This non-religious funeral reading poetically describes the scattering of someone’s ashes, and how this helps you become a part of everything around you. It’s a comforting reminder that you’re never really gone when you pass away. “Now I have lost you, I must scatter All of you on the air henceforth; Not that to me it can ever matter Buy it’s only fair to the rest of the earth. Now especially, when it is winter And the sun’s not half so bright as he was, Who wouldn’t be glad to find a splinter That once was you in the frozen grass? Snowflakes, too, will be softer feathered, Clouds, perhaps, will be whiter plumed; Rain, whose brilliance you caught and gathered, Purer silver have reassumed. Farewell, sweet dust; I never was a miser: Once, for a minute, I made you mine: Now you are gone, I am none the wiser But the leaves of the willow are as bright as wine.” Death is Nothing at All - Henry Scott-Holland This poem is a popular choice for a non-religious funeral reading for a child or young person. Rather than focussing on the finality of death, it suggests that death merely changes things. The poem can offer comfort during a difficult time and could be a good choice for a humanist funeral. Dear lovely Death Just cute little foxy touches that make the story that much better, more interesting, and more enjoyable. As the name suggests, this poem would be an ideal funeral reading for someone who had a sense of humour. The poem urges the funeral goers to dispense with traditional funeral verses and enjoy some music. Consider coupling this poem with some fitting funeral music. I’ve taken in recent years to thinking about my funeral She grew up as an only child in Glasgow, and when young began drawing and writing stories. She started writing children's books in 1976, and attended art school in Edinburgh from 1979 to 1984. She then received a travelling scholarship award to go to Milan, and worked as a freelance from 1984 onwards.

Large and Small are completely genderless. This makes the story fit with any kind of parent/child or grandparent/child or relative/child or grown-up/child pairing you might have upon reading it.The little fox in this book starts out feeling grumpy when her/his parent is on the phone, ignoring her/him, and this sets the stage for the little fox to ask for reassurance and to find out that she/he will be loved, no matter what. Gliori’s (The Snow Lambs, Pure Dead Magic) rhyming text is sweet and reassuring; the parent fox always has a loving, reassuring answer to give the child. The first two examples are easy to see why a child might feel they need reassurance that they’ll still be loved–feeling awful and/or acting out when feeling grumpy or angry (grim and grumpy, and grumpy and grizzly bear). The next two examples were not as immediately clear to me, and didn’t feel as strongly written. After some thought, I realized that “squishy bug” and the child worrying if they’ll still get a hug might mean if the child was feeling unlovable–but I wish that connection were stronger. Still, a child needing reassurance that they will still be loved is a universal need. Looking for readings for a non-religious funeral? Whether you’d like to find a reading that reflects the personality of your loved one, or a funny funeral reading that will make friends and family smile, we’ve collected some of our favourite non-religious funeral readings to help you find the right one. Modern non-religious funeral readings No Matter What – Debi Gliori Having trouble deciding on a non-religious funeral reading? Don’t forget that there are no strict rules about what you can and cannot use. You could choose a poem. Or your loved one’s favourite song lyrics. Here are a few more ideas to give you some inspiration. We hope it helps you find the right way to say goodbye. A powerful funeral poem for those dealing with grief. The poem focuses on the belief that our loved ones are all around us, with no religious messaging or undertones. Do not stand at my grave and weep One section stopped me short while reading, since it felt un-childlike, and in a different tone than the rest of the book, almost formal: “But does love wear out? Does it break or bend? Can you fix it or patch it? Does it mend?” I would have preferred the text to flow more easily. Still, all the answers are reassuring, and answer questions that many children may not even be able to express–such as knowing that the parent will still love the child, even if they are away from them.

This poem could be chosen for a spouse or a partner, or even a close friend that you’ve lost. It’s a helpful way of looking at loss. Henry Scott-Holland reminds us with the poem that death is a part of life. “Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away to the next room. I am I and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, That, we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.” Read the poem in full here. Remember Me - Margaret Mead This funeral poem focuses on scattering a loved one's ashes, making it ideal for use at a cremation, when scattering the ashes or at another non-religious ceremony. Now I have lost you, I must scatter Even though Debi Gliori’s picture book was made to comfort children with its message, it certainly extends to anyone who’s experienced loss. It’s a reminder that even when you’ve lost a loved one, you’re still surrounded by their love. Small said, “But what about when we are dead and gone, will you love me then, does love go on?”…Large (replied) “Look at the stars, how they shine and glow, some of the stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies, for you see…love like starlight never dies…” Bilbo’s Last Song (At the Grey Havens) - JRR Tolkien Picture books that are reassuring can help soothe a child, help them know that they are loved–or should be loved. I think they can have great benefit. No Matter What by Debi Gliori is one of those books.I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong The stars are not wanted now: put out every one; Often considered an ideal non-religious funeral poem for mum, this reading focuses on a sense of gratitude for all that your loved one has left behind. Can be edited to read “He is gone” to create a funeral poem for Dad or a male loved-one. You can shed tears that she is gone Despite being written fourteen years before his death, this poem is inscribed on the author’s gravestone. Robert Louis Stevenson was a famous atheist, making the poem a popular choice of non-religious funeral reading. Under the wide and starry sky, No Matter What is a children’s story book which teaches children about love and loss. It would make a lovely reading for the funeral of a mum or dad who has left young children behind. Small said: “But what about when you’re dead and gone? Would you love me then? Does love go on?”

Tl;dr - This book is very lauded. I thought it was pretty good, especially the little touches Gliori makes on the illustrations. However, for grief books I'd look elsewhere. This funeral poem sets out to remind mourners that death does not have to be the end. What though the radiance which was once so bright~ This is an ideal non-religious funeral reading that brings hope in times of grief. Mead’s poem reminds us that you’ll always have memories of the times you shared together, good and bad. “Remember me in your heart, your thoughts, your memories of the times we loved, the times we cried, the times we fought, the times we laughed. For if you always think of me, I will never be gone.” You can read the entire poem here. Non-religious funny funeral readings Play Jolly Music At My Funeral – Richard Greene Originally written by Marks when he learned of the death of his girlfriend, this poem is a heartfelt choice which speaks of eternal love, making it a popular funeral reading for the loss of a loved one. The life that I haveLarge held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright. Finding the words to say goodbye to a loved one when they pass away can be difficult. With non-religious and Humanist funerals becoming more and more popular, many people turn to the internet and books to find the perfect non-religious reading.

We see now that a crocodile has taken Small's place in the bathtub. Large extends a hand, holding out Small's toothbrush and toothpaste. Sigh. I didn't see this as a grief/death thing at all, instead I interpreted it as a "someone's moved away" scenario. I guess you could be very liberal with your interpretation and see this as dealing with grief/death, but it's not explicit enough for me and this does NOT count as a "help your child cope with grief" book for me at all. This poem is an excellent choice for the funeral of someone with a sense of humour. It’s the narrator’s light-hearted request for their choice of funeral music because they’d “be happier to see those present have some relief.”“I’ve taken in recent years to thinking about my funeral and have decided to make one paramount request: play jolly music at that ritual. What good does it do to heap on dirges or other mournful melodies? I won’t be there to be gratified by the grieving and if I could tune in I’d be happier to see those present have some relief.” Read the entire poem here. Eulogy from a Physicist - Aaron FreemanThis poem was read out at Princess Diana’s funeral and it’s not hard to see why. The narrator tells its listeners not to mourn for too long. It’s better to continue the good work that the person started in life as a source of comfort instead. “If I should die and leave you here a while, be not like others sore undone, who keep long vigils by the silent dust, and weep. For my sake – turn again to life and smile, nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do something to comfort other hearts than thine. Complete those dear unfinished tasks of mine and I, perchance may therein comfort you.” Farewell, Sweet Dust - Elinor Wylie