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Things We Do Not Tell the People We Love

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Whether it be the tension between mother-daughter relationships, the secrets kept hidden between partners, the betrayals and misunderstandings between friends, and even the conflicts one faces within oneself on a day-to-day basis— this book so accurately, and painfully, portrays it all. Set across the blossoming English countryside, the stifling Mediterranean, and the bustling cities of London and Lahore, Things We Do Not Tell The People We Love illuminates the parts of ourselves we rarely reveal. One of the strongest stories – and surely the most heartbreaking – takes the perspective of one of Qureshi’s forceful mothers, Shaheen, who remains oblivious to how she smothers her daughter. The author renders her incomprehension painfully acute, while allowing the reader to see the big picture Shaheen misses. This really spoke to me. Mothers obsessed with covering up flesh! Talking to boys, even ones you’ve known all your life - controversial. Feeling weird around your white boyfriend’s family even when they’re nice. People still getting married after a few months of knowing each other. It’s all real! And the writer really captures the immensity of these experiences. The more magical stories refuse to bend to expectations, a quality I really liked. The terrain can get repetitive; this dilemma is usually felt by women who’ve left behind immigrant communities for a white, middle-class London milieu; there are many writers and journalists. Pressure points recur, too: in several stressful holidays, tolerable relationships become intolerable. And occasionally, the responses to monstrous mothers tip into melodrama; although it won the Harper’s Bazaar 2020 short story prize, I didn’t quite buy the murderous intent in The Jam Maker. Premonition beautifully recalls the intensity of a first crush, before a bewildering first kiss leads to disaster

To expand, I’m thinking about this more…It’s v hard as an Asian woman to not want stories by an Asian woman writer to do all the work of representation. Even as a woman reading cis women of any colour, I struggle against that need. It’s desperately unfair and not a responsibility of the writer to write about anything other than what interests them, in a way that interests them. My struggle: I think I found the middle-classness of this quite grating - Tuscany! Writers! Mildred’s in Soho! - although I was propelled by her voice in all the stories, especially the first. What can I say? I’m bored of *some* forms of recognition. Sometimes the tone of grievance could be samey, especially given the bougie lives of the characters. Underneath it all is alienation, playing out subtly like it does in real life. I think she comes up against a voice limitation when narrating from a hapless boyfriend’s POV, but in another story she perfectly captures an unwittingly oppressive mother’s tone. Well told stories with well realised characters . . . Qureshi, like [Jhumpa] Lahiri, is a companionable and considered writer, and this is a collection you can read enjoyably, rain or shine. - Guardian Huma Qureshi writes like a psychotherapist, considering, analysing, explaining, seeking outconflicts, evasions, and discomforts . . . The form suits her: she succeeds in a short space in describing her settings and defining her characters . . . there are notes of optimism that sound from true love; and, as always, amor vincit omnia. -- Brian Martin * Spectator *

Still, these are well told stories with well realised characters. Qureshi’s plots unfurl purposefully, sometimes to reveal a sting in the tale. Her concerns are domestic – first love, friendship, estranged mothers, discontented wives, families that fall apart, marriages that limp on – with the understanding that these are the things that matter most of all. She knows, too, that behind every relationship is some hidden wound, and she compels her characters to confront theirs. The writing is easy to get into, almost lyrical, and I enjoy that. I also appreciate how each story examines the different ways love can turn sour in our relationships— be it platonic, romantic, friendship, etc. Even how grief, loss, and resentment can taint love is also well explored. Huma Qureshi writes like a psychotherapist, considering, analysing, explaining, seeking outconflicts, evasions, and discomforts . . . The form suits her: she succeeds in a short space in describing her settings and defining her characters . . . there are notes of optimism that sound from true love; and, as always, amor vincit omnia. - Spectator While this voice gives the collection its throughline, it also means that the stories blend together. No one story particularly stands out – although The Jam Maker, which won Harper’s Bazaar’s Short Story Prize in 2020, is undoubtedly the book’s strongest – but, rather, the collection works as one voice exploring the similar themes through different angles.

A daughter asks her mother to shut up, only to shut her up for good; an exhausted wife walks away from the husband who doesn’t understand her; on holiday, lovers no longer understand each other away from home. Huma Qureshi is a writer I know I’ll be reading for years and years and years’ Natasha Lunn, author of Conversations on Love A series of beautifully written short stories examining the pent-up frustrations and the everyday betrayals that even our closest relationships can cause. -- Stylist Qureshi writes with courage and in these extraordinary stories capture the shame and loneliness of non-belonging and the challenge of self-acceptance.

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thoughts on “Things We Do Not Tell the People We Love by Huma Qureshi: A quietly accomplished collection” A unique tale that interweaves crime fiction with intimate tales of morality and search for individual freedom. Well told stories with well realised characters . . . Qureshi, like [Jhumpa] Lahiri, is a companionable and considered writer, and this is a collection you can read enjoyably, rain or shine. -- Shahidha Bari * Guardian *

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