276°
Posted 20 hours ago

Strippers vs Werewolves [DVD]

£3.35£6.70Clearance
ZTS2023's avatar
Shared by
ZTS2023
Joined in 2023
82
63

About this deal

Meanwhile, the really fit one from Hollyoaks stands around cooing at a bouncer, but doesn't know that Johnny Allen from Eastenders is still mad that Martin has been killed. In summary, these werewolves are - and I say this within a fortnight of having watched Wolfpeople - strong contenders for the crappiest werewolves ever shown on screen. But I suppose that, since we only know that the women are strippers because we’re told so, it makes sense that the same should be true of the werewolves. Barron also wrote staggeringly unfunny ‘comedy sketches’ for some staggeringly unfunny BBC3 ‘comedy shows’. Pat Higgins on the other hand wrote The Devil’s Music. And KillerKiller. And one third of Bordello Death Tales. I’m not saying that a Pat Higgins script could never be improved. All scripts have potential for improvement. But the idea that Phillip Barron could improve it is not something I can get my head around. I haven’t seen Pat’s original script, but even if he was having an off-day I can’t imagine it’s worse than what got made.

I Always Wanted to Say That: One of the werewolves says this in defence of the looks he gets from the other werewolves for saying " Little pig, little pig, let me come in.". STRIPPERS VS. WEREWOLVES is truly one of the most appalling British films I've ever witnessed, a comedy/horror hybrid that makes LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS look like a masterpiece by comparison. The setting is the usual sleazy strip-club, inhabited by actresses willing to strip for the camera while at the same time displaying no acting ability whatsoever. The exception is Adele Silva, as she's a proper actress from EMMERDALE, but she's perhaps the most wooden of the plot. Fast forward to 2011 and in a nice cameo a werewolf at a pole dancing club (played by Martin Kemp, formerly of Duran Duran’s rival 1980’s new romantic band Spandau Ballet…and Eastenders) is stabbed in the eye with a silver fountain pen - her dad gave it when got GSCE exams - by exotic dancer Justice (Adele Silva).

So I’m not here to praise or bury SvW but to take a look at it, see what works, see what doesn’t. In a sense, that should be all that matters. If it ain’t on screen it ain’t in the scene and it ain’t been seen, as the saying goes. That said, I’m certainly interested - as you may also be - in why things are the way they are. Why this works and that doesn’t. What I’m not looking to do is appoint personal blame for ‘ruining’ or ‘destroying’ this film (that’s assuming it turns out to be a bit rubbish; we’ll get to that in a bit, but you may have got that impression from general internet scuttlebutt). Because even if one or more individuals are responsible, who cares? A silly little film that doesn’t matter turns out to be not as good as it could have been. And in other news, people are homeless, politicians are corrupt, the environment is going to shit and I’ve got a painful boil on my toe. Now here’s Andy with sports... Well, the title of this film might lead you to think that this is either really cool in a postmodern ironic sort of way or truly dire. It's worth watching just so you can make your mind up. To a certain extent it is a concept that has been done before – and tends to be more funnier on paper than actually on film – but while Strippers vs Werewolves struggles to find its right tone or story structure there are more than a few moments to enjoy. Often the set-ups and dialogue can be engaging, but when director Jonathan Glendening gets into the action the film tends to fall apart. Now, I’m not sure if it’s me or that simply British horror-based films sometimes seem a bit confusing. In that sense, alot of subplots are moving, never really giving much away as to why or for purposes at times. We get the gist by the 3rd act, with alot of holes in between.

Stylistically, SvW is a mess. Every so often it tries to turn into a comic-book on screen, with a handful of ‘Meanwhile...’ captions and some static images polarised to look like comic-book frames. There is a constant jumping around between scenes, sometimes cutting after every other line. For example Billy Murray’s meeting with Freddy Krueger, despite having no real narrative purpose, was at least originally an oppressively nasty meeting of two amoral monsters, playing on Englund’s talent for oozing evil. As it stands, the scene just cuts every ten seconds to a presumably simultaneous sequence in the club of Jeanette rallying her troops. This completely diffuses every iota of menace from the prison scene. The cast, aside from Bastian are dreadful, and considering that Berkoff, Ford, Compston, and even Murray are quite prolific, that's some going.In the Hood: The strippers all put on Little Red Riding Hood-style red cloaks with hoods for their final showdown with the werewolves. From the first minute you know that you can't take it seriously. Just watch the first minutes when a lap dance is going wrong. The guy enjoying it turns into a werewolf and is killed by the stripper. But look at the werewolf, it really looks ridiculous. From there on we move to the strip joint Vixen. Do I need to say more. Split screens are used and it's up to you to watch the story moving on or a girl stripping. And face it, you don't watch it for the acting of the girls. Raven (Barbara Nedeljakova of Hostel fame) just is as wooden as it is. She's a joy for the eye and I met her in the flesh when she was in Hostel but here, no can do.

The final battle is just awful. Utterly devoid of tension or excitement, more of the third act is taken up with people standing around talking than with actual fighting. There are four strippers at the start, two get killed and there seem to still be four at the end. The final twist makes no sense whatsoever, apparently setting the story up for a sequel from which we will be, I have no doubt, mercifully spared. (A poster for Strippers vs Vampires 'from the makers of SvW' can be found by judicious googling but it got no further than that.) Brown Bag Mask: At one point, Barker is seen wearing one, which one of the other werewolves draws a smile on. I Need a Freaking Drink: Franklyn drinks a can of (presumably) beer after wailing on the werewolf's dead body to render it unidentifiable. Billy Murray starred in a sci-fi short called Drifter. Barbara Scrabbleboard had a bit part as a ‘Scream Queen’ in Anglo-American comedy-horror LA Slasher. Adele Silva chose Roald Dahl as her specialist subject on Celebrity Mastermind. Steven Berkoff was in The Borgias and a particularly poor episode of Doctor Who. Robert Englund appeared in Zombie Mutation, yet another Lake Placid sequel and a bunch of other stuff. Simon Phillips starred in and produced three White Collar Hooligan films and directed a sci-fi feature, The Last Scout. And I’m on the lookout for a proper transformer...

Actors

The plot actually makes sense, if you can follow it. A stripper manages to kill a werewolf with a silver fountain pen. His mates want revenge. Her colleagues put up a fight. Obviously there's a bit more to it than that. The cast actually did good enough jobs with their given roles. However, I wonder how they managed to get Lysette Anthony (despite her being in a small cameo role) and Robert Englund to appear in this movie. Guess money does make the world go round. Eye Scream: Justice kills a werewolf at the start of the movie by stabbing him in the eye with a silver pen. Time Skip: The movie starts in 1984, showing a place called "Silvadollas" blowing up. Then it jumps ahead to 2011, when the movie takes place. Then it jumps ahead to 2012 when the surviving girls are helping Sinclair hunt monsters. Martin Kemp gets killed by the ugly one from Emmerdale who's always in lads mags, so Alan Ford 'sorts it out'.

Actually the title here, "Strippers vs Werewolves", says it all. Do not venture here and watch this movie unless you got nothing else better to do. This movie was right up the alley along side similar movie titled "Zombie Strippers". Starting to think that anything with the word 'stripper' in it is not really all that great and worth sitting down to watch. There's a bit of funny situations going on, like for example the dead body in the trunk and the strippers thinking they are seeing a woody, or when one of the guys is peeping tom and jerking off when one of the girls do go full frontal. And here you have it, the story isn't what it's all about. You just watch it for the scantily clad girls. The other complaint might be how cheap the werewolf effects look. They are only seldom shown and look like the respective actors have had clunky rubber appliances and pieces of carpet that resemble mutton chop whiskers attached to their faces. One of the film’s biggest problems is the absolutely awful werewolf design. The big challenge with werewolves as a monster, as I have observed elsewhere, is the complexity of the make-up. Couple of pointy teeth - that’s a vampire. Pale complexion and blood-spattered clothes - you’ve got yourself a zombie. Double exposure - hey presto, one ghost. Chainsaw - maniac, sorted. But a werewolf? That takes time and effort. Now imagine that you have to do make-up for half a dozen werewolves, who are in about half of the movie’s running time, and your entire budget is not quite enough to buy a decent Chinese meal for two. What are you gonna do?To be blunt STRIPPERS VS WEREWOLVES is trash comedy horror but didn't we know that from the title ? In its defence it does contain a lot of well known faces from British soap operas and it does have a mentalist plot featuring a gang of werewolves on a revenge mission against a group of strippers who killed one of their number in a club . This is the type of movie that will win Movie Of The Month in FHM A caveat should be made here. The following is to some extent conjecture based on the available evidence. None of the principal interested parties is prepared to discuss the creation of this film in any detail, at least not on the record. And once you’ve seen it you’ll understand why.) One of the things that makes good comedy is getting the timing right, one of the things about great comedy is getting the timing perfect, this film managed to deliver its gags (if you can call such ridiculous schoolboy humour gags) without any timing at all and the gags were too childish to be funny to adults and too filled with sexual meaning for kids to get them so I wonder who the target audience was supposed to be? Its a wonderful title, and fans of soaps will recognise lots of the cast, something your mum and dad would watch because of who is in it, but alas,mother film is one big mess.

Asda Great Deal

Free UK shipping. 15 day free returns.
Community Updates
*So you can easily identify outgoing links on our site, we've marked them with an "*" symbol. Links on our site are monetised, but this never affects which deals get posted. Find more info in our FAQs and About Us page.
New Comment