Prey Tell: A Brother's Best Friend Romance: 1 (Ravaged Castle)

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As the second youngest Ravage brother, I’ve spent my entire adult life rectifying our tainted family name and keeping my urges behind closed doors. Well, I think women have their place and voice, certainly, but we still know at the end of the day someone has to make the hard decisions and not everyone is going to agree.” SO MANY THOUGHTS. First, the writing is engaging and the research is strong. The content is heavy, but Bluhm navigates the subject matter in a really compelling way. Her book is a powerful and convicting read highlighting why we silence women and how to stand up in Christian faith and speak truth to power. In what is at once a gut punch to the silencing of women as well as a call to action for the church to create a more just and equitable world, Bluhm leads the way by doing with this book what we all need to do--break the silence, tell the truth, believe women, protect the survivors, and end sexualized violence against girls and women. By illuminating both how predatory behavior occurs and the systemic forces that keep it from being spoken about or believed, Prey Tell reminds us that the church is not absolved from the legacy of sexualized violence, nor is it exempt from the responsibility of repairing unjust systems. The church is precisely the community that needs to be leading the way toward a future where all women are both safe and free."

Nancy Beach, leadership coach, Slingshot Group; author of Gifted to Lead: The Art of Leading as a Woman in the Church In what is at once a gut punch to the silencing of women as well as a call to action for the church to create a more just and equitable world, Bluhm leads the way by doing with this book what we all need to do—break the silence, tell the truth, believe women, protect the survivors, and end sexualized violence against girls and women. By illuminating both how predatory behavior occurs and the systemic forces that keep it from being spoken about or believed, Prey Tell reminds us that the church is not absolved from the legacy of sexualized violence, nor is it exempt from the responsibility of repairing unjust systems. The church is precisely the community that needs to be leading the way toward a future where all women are both safe and free.”—Hillary McBride, psychologist, author, speaker, and podcaster Authors, if you are a member of the Goodreads Author Program, you can edit information about your own books. Find out how in this guide. For too long the voices of women and girls who suffer violence have been marginalized, ignored, or worse, silenced within communities of faith and beyond. The global church has all too often stood by while the stories of the suffering of women at the hands of powerful abusers went untold. Tiffany Bluhm has lived this silence and out of the ashes written a clarion call to action, challenging our culture of deafening silence with her story and wisdom. Prey Tell is an absolute must-read book for our age, breathing courage into survivor and ally alike--reminding the world that silence is not spiritual, and action is not optional." If you have experienced abuse of any kind, I caution you to read this book with care. While I believe you will feel seen, heard, and affirmed in what you experienced, it might be hard to read at times because it seems like she is telling your story. This book might also help one realize that what one is going through or went through in relationships or in the work place was not normal or healthy but abusive and toxic. Even if you have never suffered abuse, I believe men and women will find this book disturbing because of the truth that is being shared has long been hidden, denied, ignored, minimized, dismissed, excused, etc. and Bluhm breaks down all of those barriers in this brave book.During your commute: If you take public transportation or have a long commute, you may find it helpful to use that time to read. One of the most fascinating parts of the book to me was her discussion of the “Just World Theory,” which is essentially the idea that we want to believe that the world is a just, fair place, and that we choose not to believe women who have been preyed upon because we WANT to believe that they somehow deserved what was coming to them. Because if we don’t believe that, it could happen to us or to our daughters. Whoa. The last part is about what we can do to change and, frankly, it’s disheartening that Bluhm must use so many words to explain what should be self-evident. Perhaps most powerfully, she writes that the emotional/physical/sexual abuse of women is not just a woman’s problem. It is a man’s problem. It is decidedly not enough for men to not harass, assault, silence, slander, and destroy women. Male allyship for gendered equality is absolutely necessary. Men must not be neutral, but must wield their power to destroy these destructive systems. Prey Tell is a book borne out of the #MeToo and #ChurchToo movements. Tiffany Bluhm crosses the realm of secular and religious, conservative and liberal, pointing the finger at how society—US society in particular—tends to cover up sexual abuse and sexual harassment and what we must to right these devastating wrongs.

Prey Tell is undeniably well-researched, but it also comes from personal experience. In the opening chapter, Bluhm recounts the terror of spotting her sexual abuser in public – the person she spent so long trying to avoid entirely – as well as the racially-charged mistreatment she experienced as an adopted child from East India. The quote above represents just one of the gut-punching passages within Prey Tell, written by Tiffany Bluhm.Bluhm writes about how this power imbalance often forces women into silence. They must keep their stories silent or face the loss of the job, finances, and reputation. She relates to readers the story of Christine Blasey Ford, whose long-kept secret of sexual assault was brought into the national limelight largely against her will and has negatively impacted her. Women often stay silent because speaking out is worse. (And if a Republican example offends you, consider the lifelong effect Bill Clinton’s adultery has had on Monica Lewinsky—and how little it has had on Clinton. Thoroughly researched and easy to read, this book provides a broad overview of where we are as a culture, why women often remain silent in the face of abuse, and what we can do to make lasting change. Bluhm vulnerably gives us snippets of her own story, which add a certain gravitas to her academic style. This book is incredibly well-researched and full of truth, going into greater detail and shedding more light on a number of prominent sexual abuse cases, and the reality of the high cost to women who bravely come forward to speak up and tell their stories to continue to make society safer for all of us. This book is a must-read in contributing to women being free to offer all that we have to give in society to truly flourish and thrive as God created us to. I hope and pray many women will find their voice and courage in reading this book, to be validated in their experiences, and emboldened to speak out and take action against injustice, whether at home, school, church, the workplace, or in any institution or scenario where women are oppressed. As a survivor of abuse and exploitation, I have discovered the undeniable power of breaking the silence. Vocalizing our experiences and pain is a necessary step toward healing and freedom. In Prey Tell, Tiffany provides readers with two invaluable gifts: brilliantly excavated insight into the systems and practices that silence women, and a roadmap to finding our voices and helping others to find theirs. This timely and important work is sure to open eyes, shatter barriers, and unleash justice."

Before bedtime: Many people find that reading before bedtime helps them unwind and relax, which can promote better sleep. I’m writing this review the day after RZIM released an initial report from their investigation that the sexual abuse allegations against the late Ravi Zacharias are truthful. I’m heartbroken. For the victims and their trauma. For Ravi’s family in dealing with this side of his life. For the evangelical community and the damage this has done to our witness. And, selfishly, for myself, because Ravi’s ministry was instrumental in starting my own. It looks like I am in the minority so far, but this was shallow and bland. Spoilers ahoy as I break down the issues.Prey Tell is a devastating look at how culture, theology, and economics combine to uphold abusers and to silence those who try to speak the truth in our day and age. Tiffany Bluhm lays out all the ways it costs women to speak up, inviting us into the terror of this situation while also asking us to grapple with our own role in enabling this cycle to continue. A must-read--a truly difficult read--for anyone who longs to see justice upheld in our world."

I read this excellent book with a mixture of gratitude and sadness: gratitude for the wisdom offered for leaders in the church and beyond who are charged with handling reports of sexual harassment and abuse, and sadness that I did not have this tool sooner. Tiffany Bluhm weaves her own experiences with carefully researched information that sheds light where we most need to see and face the truth. I encourage you to read with an open mind and heart, ready and willing to play your part as an advocate for justice and healing. We can and must do better."D.L. Mayfield, author of The Myth of the American Dream: Reflections on Affluence, Autonomy, Safety, and Power This is a contemporary billionaire, brothers bestfriends romance and when I say I ate it up, I ate it up. Tiffany Bluhm's Prey Tell asks readers to dive into why it's so easy to not believe women when they come forward with stories of sexual harassment or assault. She did great research for this book and pulls from many examples from society from the past thirty or so years, but more importantly she focuses on how the church fails in this area. The church has failed many victims and protected men because they are powerful and charismatic. Bluhm not only calls out these instances, but also writes how we can and should do better. I read this excellent book with a mixture of gratitude and sadness: gratitude for the wisdom offered for leaders in the church and beyond who are charged with handling reports of sexual harassment and abuse, and sadness that I did not have this tool sooner. Tiffany Bluhm weaves her own experiences with carefully researched information that sheds light where we most need to see and face the truth. I encourage you to read with an open mind and heart, ready and willing to play your part as an advocate for justice and healing. We can and must do better.”—Nancy Beach, leadership coach, Slingshot Group; author of Gifted to Lead: The Art of Leading as a Woman in the Church