Funny King with Sunglasses and Kingdom Sweatshirt

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When William the Conqueror was dying of his wounds in 1087, he made the succession clear: His eldest son, Robert, was not to be king of England. Instead, he would be made duke of Normandy and the kingdom that William had built for 20 years would pass to his second surviving son. If Kenneth was the first king of a united Scotland, then his grandson Constantine was the king who shaped the country into something we’d recognize as Scotland today. Over the course of his 43-year reign, it went from being called the Kingdom of the Picts to the Kingdom of Alba, the Gaelic word for “Scotland.” The words “Scot” and “Scotland” were first used during his reign. Jokes in the times of all-powerful medieval monarchs were a risky business. Bayless recounts a story where a joke fell foul of English king Richard I. "Two men had been ridiculing the king at a drunken feast – the king was furious and summoned the men. Clearly disaster was about to befall the men, but then one of them answered: 'We might have said those things, but that was nothing to what we were going to say if the wine hadn't run out!'" At the time of Kenneth’s birth around 810, modern-day Scotland was split between the Gaelic kingdom of Dalriada and the kingdom of the Picts. Pictland had been much stronger than Dalriada, but by the time Kenneth became king of Dalriada in 839, it was in the middle of a crisis. Five different claimants fought over the kingdom over the next decade, severely weakening it. The ensuing Battle of Burnanburh was a decisive victory for Athelstan and secured his position as the most powerful man in Britain for the rest of his lifetime. He called himself the king of Britain, and the Welsh and Scottish kings were forced to attend his council, where they witnessed and accepted his laws. [3]

Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day. At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. He allied himself with the English for much of his reign, even deigning to visit the court of Athelstan and witness his laws in return for peace and cooperation. In 918, he worked with the Northumbrians. Together, the Scottish and English armies met the Vikings at the Battle of Corbridge.

John abandoned London to Louis and then the old Anglo-Saxon capital of Winchester, which Louis had also seized by June. By midsummer, over half the kingdom belonged to him. Instead, he was responsible for establishing the most efficient and advanced English state that had been seen up to that point. He made many new royal justices who roamed the countryside ensuring that courts were functioning properly and that all criminals paid their fees to the crown. Edgar the Peaceful was also instrumental in the foundation of a modern, nationalized currency for England. Before his reign, coinage was produced on a regional basis. The average silver penny varied in size, weight, and stamp across the kingdom.

He also profited from the free investiture rules (enacted by his father) by purposely leaving bishoprics empty, meaning their incomes automatically went to Rufus. However, this also deprived people of the religious leadership they wanted.Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit.”

Bayless has found that many of the oldest written jokes were scribbled in the margins of ornate early Latin Bibles. Even in a culture where only academic and religious elites could read and write, early Church scholars were busy entertaining each other with smutty comments. When Aethelred died in early 1016, Edmund made his way to London to be crowned the new king of England. Both of his brothers had died in 1014. In a final effort to halt the Danish invasion, he went to Wessex to raise an army. He fought the Danes at Penselwood and Sherston. Then he made his way to London where he successfully broke the Danish siege. Athelstan was elected king of Mercia in 924 following the death of his father, Edward. By late 925, he’d been elected king of Wessex, too, though not before he had to put down a rebellion. Some researchers suggest that because humour brings us together it might have an evolutionary purpose. Perhaps our ability to make light of bad situations helped us to overcome them – by joining together in laughter, we were able to reinforce our social bonds. Some scholars point to the existence of teasing-like behaviours in primates like chimpanzees as evidence of an early evolutionary origin of humour in humans. However, captive animals could be copying behaviours they have seen in us. In May 1216, the heir to the French throne landed unopposed on the island of Thanet with a big army in tow. From there, he marched on London. Instead of rejecting the French king, the people of London opened the city’s gates and proclaimed him king of England in Old St. Paul’s Cathedral with many of the English nobles and even the king of Scotland watching. His claim to the throne was tenuous at best. [1]

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With the might of the two greatest Anglo-Saxon kingdoms behind him, Athelstan finished what his grandfather Alfred the Great had started. In 927, Athelstan conquered the last Viking territory in England—the Kingdom of York—and became the first monarch in history to be king of all England. Did you hear about the British who is such a big fan of the Royal Family, each of his four sons is named after a king?

In early civilizations, kings and queens were typically selected through birthright or hereditary means. As time progressed, various factors including military prowess, religious power, or political acumen could contribute to a person's ascension to the throne. In modern times, royal families often exist primarily for ceremonial purposes and have little governing power. The process by which someone becomes a king or queen can vary depending on time period and location, but usually entails some combination of bloodline, election by peers, or coronation by a divine entity. A history of kings and queens The patient replies, “Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm.”Edmund Ironside was never expected to be king. During a time of peace and stability in Anglo-Saxon England, he was third in line to the throne behind his two brothers. However, that changed when the Viking King Cnut invaded in 1015. In the third year of Constantine’s reign, the Vikings returned and pillaged the kingdom. They made it as far as Dunkeld, where they looted many Scottish religious treasures. From then on, Constantine’s main focus seems to have been on defeating the Vikings. The coronation of Charles III and his wife, Camilla, as king and queen of the UK and the other Commonwealth realms is scheduled to take place in May 2023. A hundred and fifty pounds!” she’d exclaim. “No! “Five pounds!” he whispered from the corner of his mouth, simply to silence her.