Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story (Digital Desires Book 2)

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LD: Google Now doesn't really have a face or a personality, so it would be a challenge to engage in sexual relations with him or her. Challenge accepted! Phil and Christie make their way to the vessel when all of a sudden, they hear a voice asking if they need assistance. And it’s coming from a giant alien paperclip – literally, a walking, talking paperclip – named Clippy, the MMC. MH: We have a pretty extensive guide here at Men's Health called 45 Sex Positions Every Couple Should Try. Which, if any, of these positions could Clippy actually achieve? Which ones would be the most difficult for him? Which ones would he excel at?

Conquered by Clippy by Arthur Bath - SoundCloud Stream Conquered by Clippy by Arthur Bath - SoundCloud

Clippy is, of course, the helpful (and long-since retired) personal assistant for Microsoft Office users, the animated paper clip with googly eyes who popped up on our computer screens and asked unsolicited questions like “It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?” That was the internal name for Clippy as Office was in development. Sam Hobson, a young program manager, pushed forward with the project even as Bob flopped; like Karen Fries and Barry Linnett, Hobson trusted the research of Nass and Reeves on creating social interfaces. Unlike the leaders of Bob, the Office team didn’t face the unenviable task of building an alternate realm for computer novices. It's called Conquered by Clippy. Rule 34 continues to bestride the Internet like a colossus, apparently. Oh, and there's more … So... to summarize: I thought something was free and helpful. The first time I tried it, it did nothing. The second time, it didn't help me at all and asked for more money.A key reason why is because Christie and Clippy don't end up with one another at the end of the book. There's even an allusion to an orgy between Clippy and other digital assistants at the end of the book. Which breaks with a key expectation in Romance - a HEA or HFN between the main partners! I guess this is arguably a HFN since Christie and Clippy both seem happy at the end of the book, but they're not happy together. Look, I know that this is r/romancelandia, but I'm not sure if I would classify this as true Romance. Maybe something like "romance-adjacent parody" or "romantic satire" might work?

Word porn - this is not a joke - Office Watch Word porn - this is not a joke - Office Watch

Is Clippy, the actual office assistant, canonically male according to Microsoft? I tried looking this up and saw that it (he?) was often gendered as male, but as far as I can tell Clippy is genderless. Leonard Delaney: For legal reasons, yes, it is satire. Wait, I mean parody? Whichever one is legal. Christie writes a white paper about her findings while Clippy, with other digital assistants, reads on from the underground facility they were buried in. Don’t worry about him though, because he is having a great time ‘assisting’ other digital assistants with pleasure-related issues. He leaves the vessel to help the people of the world, as is his true calling. Men's Health: This is a joke, right? This feels like a joke. This is not actual erotica. It’s satire, right? Leonard Delaney’s Digital Desires Inbox contains three stories of close encounters with technology.

Microsoft gave him a private office and the freedom to draft 20 or 30 characters for Bob. Naturally, one was a rabbit. “Hopper” made the final cut as an alternative to Rover. Discover how a forbidden sexual romance between a woman and a watch is possible. Cry out in joy at guest appearances from your favourite technology personalities. Squirm at a twist ending to the first Digital Desires trilogy that will leave you uncomfortably aroused. LD: I don't want to give anything away, but I just released Invaded by the iWatch. The iWatch is a fictional device that I made up, but fans of Siri will certainly find a lot to like about this new story, available now from Forest City Pulp. LD: That’s ridiculous. As a straight male who enjoys thinking about female humans, I would never be turned on by a male paperclip. What does turn me on is a strong woman banging a paperclip. I like Clippy—maybe I even love him—as a complex character in a deep and satisfying story. But when I write the sex scenes, my mind’s eye does not focus on his glowing metal poker of a schlong. As a writer, I do have to picture it in great detail, but I take no erotic pleasure in it. Our FMC Christie is hired by Phil Gates to find an alien artifact in the Silicon Valley. Yes, Delaney calls it the Silicon Valley (emphasis mine). They fly together to an alien vessel uncovered by Gates when his company was literally mining for computer chips. Phil is interested in Christie, but Christie’s having none of it and rejects him.