What a Shame: 'Intelligent, moving and darkly comic' The Sunday Times

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if mathilda were to have a song, it’ll undoubtedly be harry styles’ famous “matilda”. that’s it. that’s the verdict. beep.

Schibalski JV, Müller, M, Ajdacic-Gross V, et al. Stigma-related stress, shame and avoidant coping reactions among members of the general population with elevated symptom levels. Comprehen Psychiatry. 2017;74:224-230. doi:10.1016.j.comppsych.2017.02.001 I'm not rating this book on its literary merits but on the very important real life story presented by this inspirational author and founder of a charity who has helped women and girls when they had NO ONE else to turn to, including their own families. Jasvinder tells the inspiring, heart-breaking and cruel details of her life and the lives of a plethora of other Asian women living in Britain who have suffered from honour violence and forced marriage. By showing readers the realities faced by some female members of the human race it evokes deep thought provoking feelings and opens ones eyes making it an important book of our time reminding us that cultural acceptance does not mean accepting things which are utterly unacceptable.Tender, unflinching and blisteringly funny, What a Shame glitters with rage and heartbreak, perfect for fans of Emma Jane Unsworth, Dolly Alderton and Holly Bourne. Concerned that she isn't moving on, Mathilda's friends push her towards a series of increasingly unorthodox remedies.

Jasvinder grew up in Derby in a traditional Sikh family with several of her siblings. But it was her brother who always scored special treatment from her parents. Living in a guarded community, Jas wasn't even allowed to cut her hair or put on makeup for it was considered too frivolous. Girls were liabilities, someone who were arranged to be married off at just 15. After witnessing abusive marriages around her including that of her sisters', Jas decides to run away when she's presented with a man much older than her who was to be her husband. Her parents'expected rejection of her Punjabi boyfriend because he belonged to a lower status was the final push that freed Jas. The two struggle to survive outside the community and for many years, she is cut off from the family. I loved it. Jasvinder's story is so unbelievable to me, that I couldn't stop reading it. Even though I know this is happening right under my nose, I still find it so unbelievable. How can people treat their own family this way?! Growing up in the Midwest, I never experienced such drastic family cultures. I was raised to think that everyone is the same, and never to judge skin color or to see someone based on their status. It's so crazy to me that this culture is so racist, sexist, and biased. How can we live in this day and age and not be more socially accepting? These poor women need help, and I wish I was able to help them. Don’t forget to let yourself be sad. You are allowed. Grief is a good thing. It means that you loved someone. It means that they mattered.” LeBlanc VR. The relationship between emotions and learning in simulation-based education. Simulation in Healthcare. 2019;14(3):137-139. doi:10.1097/SIH.0000000000000379 What a Shame’ is a perfect balance of genuine heart and awkward humour. If you enjoyed ‘Fleabag’ and writers like Caitlin Moran and Dawn O’ Porter I think you’ll love this debut.

Abigail Bergstrom's new novel What a Shame is a warm, frank and introspective look at the aftermath of heartbreaking events

Jas tries to rekindle her relationship with her family after her daughter's birth but things were never the same again. Her failed relationships, marriages and bad decisions were what made her the strong woman that she is now. When her sister Robina commits suicide, she promises to help women who are pushed in to forced marriages. Her organization Karma Nirvana has been assisting thousands of women ever since. Jas's story is not one of victimization but is of survival. I could never understand her mother's cold behaviour, about the fact that parents can be so ruthless in the name of religion and honour.

Concerned that she isn’t moving on, Mathilda’s friends push her towards a series of increasingly unorthodox remedies. She’s still reeling from the blow of a gut-punch break up and grieving the death of a loved one. But that’s not it.I always love a book that focuses on the importance of female friendships, because aren’t they just the best? There really is something so beautiful about the sisterhood us women feel. Would 100% recommend this book (to the right person, maybe not your aunt), can’t wait to read Abigail’s next masterpiece! May cause you to inflate your ego to hide the belief that you don’t have value ( narcissistic personality) Cibich M, Woodyatt L, Wenzel M. Moving beyond "shame is bad": How a functional emotion can become problematic. Soc Personal Psychol Compass. 2016;10(9):471-483. doi:10.1111/spc3.12263 i have nothing much to say of this book apart from it was just okay. i believe this is bergstrom’s debut so it is completely understandable. it’s a normal reaction to me almost. Emotionally intelligent, life-affirming and darkly comic, Abigail Bergstrom’s debut novel What A Shamehad us at hello!

to love oneself is to seek out the worst and most terrible parts. a curse, lifted. my shame no longer sits cloyingly around me. it no longer leaks inside, seeping into my view of the world.” She’s cried all her tears, mastered her crow pose and thrown out every last reminder of him. But that’s not helping. Dazzling . . . one of those novels where you think you're exploring someone else's pain, only to realise you're exploring your own' The idea of a curse was divisive, but the assertion that I had, for some time now, been ‘laden with something dark’ was disconcertingly unanimous.I absolutely adored this book! The pain and sorrow, but joy and love that comes from being a human. How grief and heartbreak can lay so heavy on a person, this book was raw and emotional, even awkward at times, but I truly loved it. I have gained so much from reading this book. I see myself more determined that I can achieve anything I put my mind to (by The Grace of God).