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1000 Years of Annoying the French

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This book, as its name suggests, is a take on the history between England and France for the last ten centuries or so. Stephen Clarke is the bestselling author of seven books of fiction and nonfiction that satirize the peculiarities of French culture. Beginning with William the Conqueror (not French) and ending with Nicolas Sarkozy (French), Clarke covers a fair bit of ground including food, battles, trade, battles, Canada, battles, wine, battles, Voltaire, battles, the French Revolution and battles. For example, Joan of Arc was actually sentenced to death not because she could hear the voice of God but because she wore trousers (it’s slightly more complicated than that but that’s the gist of it. However this book brought the whole story of the French and English to light in a very entertaining and readable style.

The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. Starting with William the Conqueror (who, contrary to what the French might claim, wasn't French at all, and died fighting the Paris-based King of the Franks) and going right up to the horrendous diplomatic gaffes inflicted on recent French presidents, I have sifted through our common history for tellable tales, and kept only the juiciest nuggets. Clarke covers the Battle of Hastings in 1066, The Hundred Years War, losing Canada on the Plains of Abraham (that was the French losing), Napoleon's defeat and every major event in Anglo-French relations. This is how history should be passed on - the book is full of fascinating historical facts all built round the "special" relationship we have with our neighbours across the channel.

Edith Piaf and Coco Chanel: both were pro Nazi (to add to the fun, on page 448 the Wehrmacht troops are depicted whistling “Non Rien de Rien”, a song that has only been written in 1960 by Charles Dumont. Because this book shines a big bright spotlight on all the notable mistakes the French made and even some of the successes the British achieved, but tries to be as brief as possible about everything the British did wrong. Aby nie było całkiem ponuro, Clarke meandruje nie tylko zawiłymi ścieżkami wspólnej historii Anglików i Francuzów, ale również zawzięcie trzebi, będące w powszechnym obiegu, mity i kłamstewka dotyczące francuskich dokonań na płaszczyźnie kulinarnej, muzycznej, literackiej i filmowej. Stephen Clarke zabiera czytelnika w trwającą tysiąc lat podróż, w sposób niezwykle malowniczy dowodząc, iż małostkowość, krótkowzroczność, zazdrość i zwykła złośliwość, cechująca zarówno "wybitne" jednostki, jak i całe masy ludzkie zamieszkujące tereny obu państw - tak, moim zdaniem zarówno Anglii, jak i Francji obrywa się tutaj po równo - prowadzą do opłakanych skutków, kosztujących nierzadko życia setek tysięcy ludzi. After working as a journalist for a French press group for ten years, Paris-based Clarke now has a regular spot on French cable TV, poking fun at French culture.Even the French Revolution is a bit of a myth – the Bastille contained only a handful of prisoners when it was stormed, and the 1789 uprising wasn’t an attempt to make France a republic at all – the first revolutionaries wanted a “British-style” monarchy.

But in fact, William the Conqueror was an avowed enemy of France and regularly attacked the French King. In it they will find a full supply of delightful anecdotes, giving them all the amunitions they need to silence the arrogant French.This millennial look at the history of Britain and France is told with wry, sometimes childishly irritating, and rarely laugh-inducing humour. With such an amazing portrayal of French hypocrisy and silliness I think “1,000 Years” would fit nicely on the book shelves of Francophobes. Luckily I have a French Canadian husband so he can do my speaking for me as I tend to freeze up when spoken to in French. This is a very long book, nearly 700 pages, as might be expected from a book that covers a millenium's worth of Anglo-French relations in great detail.

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