The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

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Plan B takes too long: Unsolved problems take more time than solved problems. The amount of time will decrease as the skills are developed When a school continues to apply interventions that don’t help a child to behave adaptively, it gives the message that people are not sure how to help the child. As hopeful as I was that we were making some progress, I'm sorry to report that this method was completely unsustainable. It is a possible that a better parent would have hung in there longer. You might be that parent. Don't take my word for the approach. Your mileage may vary.

An explosive outburst occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person, outstrip that person’s capacity to respond adaptivelyHe just needs to step up to the plate — this is not possible because the child does not have the skills to do this. Create a community of learners by using Plan B with all students — that is a social curriculum which accentuates differences . Explosive children do not choose to be explosive in the same way that children who have reading and mathematical difficulties do not choose to do so. Challenging behavior occurs when the demands being placed upon a child outstrip the skills he has to respond adaptively to those demands.” Reflect on the Likely Outcomes of Solutions and the Degree to Which They are Feasible and Mutually Satisfactory

This is the premise of the approach that Dr. Greene explains in this book. In a nutshell, he wants to suggest a focus on exploring specific problems and solutions collaboratively (with the child, siblings, parents, and teachers) to enable children to develop the coping skills to handle life. If issues are spelled out ahead of time and the solutions are discussed then there are clear expectations of how many interactions should happen and the child goes along with the program because he/she is 'heard' and part of the solution. The process works through fundamental communication issues and allows for predetermined expectations so the behaviorally challenged child isn't so frustrated as to act out in inappropriate ways. The book explains why kids explode. For instance, not being able to transition from one taks to another (e.g., from watching tv to have dinner). And that part is good even if vague. But what I want to know is this: He won’t cooperate — if you’re talking about the true meaning of the word cooperate — “to collaborate, to come together’ — then it may be that the child has not been given a chance to do this.

In Raising Human Beings, Dr. Greene helps parents maintain the balance between helping kids figure out who they are – their skills, preferences, beliefs, values, personality, goals and direction – and ensuring that kids benefit from parents’ experience, wisdom, and values. His collaborative, non-punitive, non-adversarial approach helps parents reduce conflict, enhance parent-child communication, and forge a partnership with their kids, and also helps foster skills on the more positive side of human nature: empathy, appreciating how one’s behavior is affecting others, resolving disagreements in ways that do not involve conflict, taking another’s perspective, and honesty. This much-anticipated book was released in August, 2016. p. 77 lists 1–6 of what are viewed as ‘good parenting skills’. These approaches may help but may not. An insightful, sensitive portrayal of children who need help—and how to help them.” — Myrna B. Shure This is the central premise behind a proactive, positive parenting model called collaborative and proactive solutions (CPS), which is an empirically-supported, evidence-based treatment approach that really works to solve tough behavior challenges. Identifying Lagging Skills Typically, the child understands that the poor first reaction they may have when responding to a situation isn’t the best one, but typically, the child only reacts that way under one condition: when he’s frustrated. If he thought that the reaction was okay, he’d do it at other times — if not all the time, as well. But even if the child does think the reaction is okay, you’re going to be giving the child a plethora of other words and phrases to use if you abide by the above terms.

Get good at Plan B. This is a new skill for both of you. As you start to develop muscle memory for solving problems collaboratively, your communication and relationship with your child will improve. When you parent collaboratively and proactively, you are simultaneously improving behavior and teaching kids the skills they need next time a challenge rises up. When children help to devise them, the solutions are more effective and more durable. At first blush, this collaborative approach can look a bit like “giving in” to bad behaviour or relinquishing parental authority, but Dr. Greene argues that it isn’t really about that. It’s about proactively dealing with problems which just aren’t getting resolved through more traditional avenues. This problem focused approach is grounded in years of research with behaviourally challenging children. It takes practice but it’s worth the work!It’s often useful to implement a 0–5 ranking system, in which 0 denotes “not frustrated at all” and 5 denotes “really, really frustrated”. The same can be done with colors (Green — Red) for younger children. I ended up really enjoying this book. It was a big eye opener for me on how to deal with my child that is stubborn, smart, perfectionist, always needing to be right, and throws temper tantrums and has a really short fuse. It was interesting idea on that your child just is missing some ways on how to process certain things that happen to them, which end up really frustrate them. How giving them a punishment while they are frustrated is ineffective, and so are many other parenting practices for your child. It made me much more sympathetic towards my child, and want to help him out. He talks about catching your child before they have a meltdown and talking them down and out of frustrations. Modeling a thinking processes, and talking them through what a lot of other kids already do in their heads. Drop the expectation for now to avoid an explosion. This doesn’t mean you ‘give in’. It would be giving in if you started with Plan A and then went to Plan C. The idea of using Plan C is to be proactive and to prevent an explosion. If you predict that a particular trigger will lead to an explosion, you are being realistic and can focus on the bigger stuff. Dr. Ross Greene is a clinical psychologist and author of several books describing the use of his model, Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), in different settings. He is also the founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance, which supports the dissemination of the CPS model. General description