276°
Posted 20 hours ago

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

£9.9£99Clearance
ZTS2023's avatar
Shared by
ZTS2023
Joined in 2023
82
63

About this deal

This book can help preserve the greatest gift you will ever give your baby: a loving relationship between the baby's parents. I am embarrassed to say that my main motivation to patch up my disintegrating marriage came from my child; I saw with dismay that our fighting was beginning to change her personality. Dunn does a fantastic job outlining the benefits that more evenly distributing household labor can have on children, particularly girls.

D., professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University told me, your physical connection with your partner strengthens your emotional connection.If your husband has a better relationship with his phone than he does with his baby, you need to hit him with this book--and then ask him to read it. Not staying on your own side means stewing in silent fury as you do the dishes, bathe the kids, pack lunches and fold laundry—while your spouse reads a magazine in bed. I couldn’t tell my mother or sisters—they have long memories—and because I didn’t hear anything from my friends about fighting with their partners, I assumed I was the only one thinking "I hate my husband" when he'd leave an unwashed bottle in the sink or forget to take out the trash. I know what it’s like to experience challenging, high-risk pregnancies, difficult labours, and postpartum struggles.

Conflict is natural—but as several therapists bluntly informed us, now that we were the grown-ups in the family, it was time to hash it out like adults. In addition to working together to help clients cope with the challenges that motherhood brings, I provide mothers with the much needed support, compassion, and empathy they deserve. For me, it was more about what felt equitable: Tom started cooking dinner once or twice a week, which wasn’t an even split but made me feel satisfied. Although I was a trained mental health professional, I felt shocked at how hard things felt, and how little support there was out there for new moms. Despite that discouraging statistic, Dunn doesn't fall into a mode of "I told you so," but rather takes the high road, illustrating how male and female brains file neatly into evolutionary patterns.Tom grew up in a household where money was tight (or nonexistent), which suddenly explained why he always misplaced or forgot to pay bills, an ongoing issue with us: During his childhood, bills were a source of fear. She also emphasizes the importance of letting go of perfectionism and accepting that things won’t always be perfect, but that it’s important to stay on top of the most important tasks. Nobody likes being told what to do: She explains that when wives try to tell their husbands what to do, it can lead to resentment and defensiveness, which can harm the relationship.

We could have saved a lot of bickering with a formula we hit upon years later: One of us sleeps in Saturday, the other Sunday. While I can confidently say that I have never hated my husband, my baby is only 18 months– there is still plenty of time for resentment to fester. Taking experiences from her own evolving marriage and combining it with the wisdom of professionals - neuroscientists, psychologists, parenting experts, and more - she has penned this book to help women navigate everything from household chores, budgets, and weekends with family to both fighting and having sex with your spouse. I’m just, so, tired,” I said to my husband, staggering toward the kitchen table and tenderly sitting down.As a work-from-home mom with part-time childcare, this idea that gender roles sneak into our relationships after kids really resonated with me. Due to societal pressures, mothering and keeping house are, like it or not, still more central to women’s identities overall than men’s. When I was fuming at my husband, I would get tunnel vision and only see the annoying things he did, which led to what is known in cognitive science as confirmation bias — the tendency to only pay attention to things that confirm your existing beliefs. As I stated in my post about emotional labor, invisible work only stays invisible if we don’t shed light on it. I could have avoided a lot of bruised feelings by simply telling him that sex was off the table for the first six weeks (If I got my mojo back during that time — bonus!

Don't forget to subscribe to our weekly newsletter, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok and Telegram for fun moments! These admissions are usually told to me in a whisper, because women inevitably feel self-conscious and ashamed. One of these friends, a great friend of mine from high school and new mom of a perfect baby boy, sent me a recommendation to check out a book she was reading: Jancee Dunn’s How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids. Equal parts romp and eye-opener, as [Dunn] tackles relationship self-help from every angle and through many experts and therapists.I have a glimpse at how difficult those days, months or years can be with intrusive thoughts and feelings of being generally “unwell”.

Asda Great Deal

Free UK shipping. 15 day free returns.
Community Updates
*So you can easily identify outgoing links on our site, we've marked them with an "*" symbol. Links on our site are monetised, but this never affects which deals get posted. Find more info in our FAQs and About Us page.
New Comment