French Children Don't Throw Food: The hilarious NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER changing parents’ lives

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If you're willing to wade through a metric ass ton of fatphobic, sexist bullshit there's some really interesting points for raising well behaved and independent kids with a healthy mix of firm boundaries and autonomy. If you’re expecting step-by-step guidance on how to bring up your children, you’ll be disappointed, but if you’re looking for themes on how to raise your children so they act appropriately in social situations and how you won’t lose your own identity, then it does deliver. But that's the thing—this modern version of American parenting? ATTACHMENT parenting, as they call it? It's the antithesis of the way the French do it and, I believe, the way Americans USED to parent, 30 to 40 years ago. (In short, I think it's all a bit nutty).

So, let's start from the beginning: pregnancy and childbirth. There is no legitimized "special" state of gluttony, no: "The baby wants oysters (cakes, barbecue, substitute the right one)." Strict weight control throughout pregnancy. It is not considered shameful to directly tell the expectant mother that it is not worth eating so much and moving so little – it is not good for her or the child. However, this does not mean they are not under pressure. They may accept the pressures of their society, which are very different from ours, but that is not the same as not feeling them. For example, weight control is a national obsession among the French. Not having regained your figure three months after giving birth is considered shameful. Literally. French husbands, doctors, relatives, friends, all feel that a woman who has not lost her pregnancy weight by three months is failing her duty as a wife and woman and will tell her so. But if you're triggered by like, A LOT of weight loss around pregnancy talk, or women who expect zero help from their husbands as they seemingly single handedly raise children, keep House, have a job, and keep their bodies tight, just ask someone to give you the highlights. Several people mentioned that this book was helpful in seeing that French mothers don't feel guilty about numerous aspects of their parenting the way American mothers do. My spouse pointed out that it's books like these that contribute to mother guilt here in America, books that say you're doing it wrong, do it this way. I thought that was an interesting observation. Still, reading Bringing up Bebe is like passing a pleasant afternoon with a mom you've just met at the playground. She doesn't say anything too interesting or provocative, and she's a bit muddled in her thinking, but it's a fine way to pass the time if you don't take her too seriously.How do the French manage to raise well-behaved children and have a life! Who hasn’t noticed how well-behaved French children are – compared to our own? This will be one of the only - if not THE only - parenting style books I read. I'm a Francophile anyway, but I loved this American expat's take on the study of French parenting & how she tried to integrate it, as best she could, into her children's lives while living in Paris. Firm rules & boundaries, but with freedom within that. Respect for children as intelligent beings capable of learning - and NOT in need of constant hand holding to do so. Respecting the fact that parents have lives & needs - and that the world doesn't revolve around your kids. No hovering, over analyzing, emphasis on "parenting style", constant praise, paranoia like American parents today do. One of my biggest peeves is having a conversation with a friend who's attention is about 50% - because the other 50% is talking to or entertaining their kid. French children are taught that being alone & entertaining yourself (even as toddlers) is expected. Their parents respect them enough to allow them to do so, and in return, they respect their parents' needs separate from them, too. There does seem to be a cultural difference in the construction of parenting guilt. Likely fueled by a judgmental and competitive American society where moms are judged on every decision or choice: natural birth or epidural, breastfeed or bottle. The author argues that the judgement comes from having multiple different parenting philosophies and attempting to validate your choices. French parenting is made easier by one cultural approach. Americans believe faster development is a sign of better parenting, while the French all believe in exposure and joy. No rush. Again, yes, there are parents who over-schedule, over indulge, over parent, but I fail to see that as an entire American phenomenon. Dem kann ich in einigen Punkten nicht zustimmen, denn eigentlich ist das kein Erziehungsratgeber, die Autorin berichtet in einer Mischung aus persönlichen Anekdoten und wissenschaftlichen Forschungsergebnissen davon, wie unterschiedlich Kindererziehung in Frankreich und Amerika gehandhabt wird. Wer sich aber tatsächliche Erziehungstipps erwartet, wird sie in diesem Roman nicht finden, es gibt zwar schon einige Punkte, in denen recht konkret beschrieben wird, wie französische Familien mit Erziehungsfragen umgehen, der Großteil bleibt aber vage. The author writes well, but I could tell that she is a journalist (in a bad way) b/c she writes in soundbites. It's very catchy, sexy, but she makes sweeping generalizations, and her writing is anecdotal in a not-helpful way and not data-driven. For example, she makes the broad statement that French children sleep through the night at age 2-3 months whereas American children don't even at age 1. Where is the data? Is this a fact, or is based on the people she randomly talked with, which is also subject to measurement error? Perhaps she has nationally representative data later on in the book, but if she does, then her writing is not rigorous enough to credit the data results when she relies on it in the intro.

In France a child is rarely considered an equal, but a small human being ready to be formatted, partly by its parents but mostly by the state education system. It has to be encadré, kept within a clearly and often rigidly defined framework that places disciplines such as manners and mathematics above creativity and expression.Technically speaking, I read this a little late - if you actually want your newborn to sleep through the night, you're supposed to use the French mojo before three months. Regardless, what I appreciated so much about this book is that it held up an alternate paradigm to consider. And the book doesn't sell it as an all-or-nothing deal. In fact, "all" is probably an impossibility without the ensconcement of French culture and its excellent childcare benefits. Reading the book felt like intensely good reflecting material for being mindful and aware of what is good and what can be, for choosing my own parenting path. What is also surprising is that for a book whose title and cover give the appearance of being a light hearted frolic through the streets of Paris this is actually a thoroughly researched book that covers a range of parenting topics from basic nutrition to Rousseau to "poop sausage". Which, frankly, is a progression that makes perfect sense to me. There were a lot of positive points too (those that either I or the author found positive). There were all those good bits about French parenting like recognising but allowing children to make 'betises' (little naughty acts that don't warrant an over-reaction), encouraging children to develop a broad appreciation for different foods and the parents not giving up ALL of their selves/time to their children (though I do note, somewhat uneasily, that in French films where adults are the main characters, we may not realise at all that they are parents, or if we learn this, the children are rarely even SEEN, let alone have any part in the story). I found the author and I were equally surprised at some French attitudes / practices but that she has come to embrace many of them. I wonder how I will view this book, and French parenting, in a few years' time -esp as my husband is French (and thus, his family here) which could bring some expectations for ways of doing things different from what I'm used to (as a Kiwi).

Many of the French women work, as it is made much easier by state preschools and child care. The teachers are well trained and schooled, parents often resume their pre-baby lives but do so with a new member. Again, I fail to see how the author can say this doesn't affect the difference in parenting styles. Ein Kollege hat mir schon vor einiger Zeit dieses Buch wärmstens empfohlen, es sei DER Erziehungsratgeber für werdende Eltern und er schwört auf die Erziehungstipps aus Paris. BUT...I'd heard a lot of discussion about this particular book and I have to say, if it ends up being the ONLY book on parenting I read in the lead-up to my child's birth this fall, I'm better off for having made the choice. They would get upset much less often and never seem to have the great shouty crises we have. But at the table, French children are without doubt much better behaved. It's remarkable how British children just don't sit nicely and aren't taught any respect for people around them. It would be unthinkable to most French parents to inflict their children on other people."I especially disliked the section on sleeping babies. To someone who has tried "la stinkin' Pause" for many a baby, and many a night, my babies never figured it out like her precious "Bean" did in 9 minutes. how annoying.

every chapter was just generalization after generalization - All french mothers do this and it works, and all american mothers do this and look how we hover. I can’t believe this book is so popular. It leads me to believe that this woman’s publicist is a genius and that the readers who like this book are the same ones that like The Help, which includes the women who replace their entire wardrobes with Lululemon outfits as soon as they become moms. The New York Times Wins an Emmy (Its Tenth)". The New York Times Company. 6 October 2017 . Retrieved 16 August 2023. It also taps into the British self-flagellation previously aired in the 2004 dieting tome French Women Don't Get Fat.I always felt the need to defend my personal ideas on parenting, after all I'm not a mother, so what could I know? But in a twist of validation I read that my ideas aren't so far fetched, that they are common practice in France. Don't cater to your child's every whim at dinner, expect them to eat what you eat? That's not barbaric (as some online mommy forums would say), it's much more healthy than allowing children to limit their palates (this is a fear of mine as my partner has become an adult with severely limited food tolerance based on a childhood of being fed separate "kids" food). Don't rush to them immediately during the night at the slightest whimper? Why, some American parenting experts call this abandonment and negligence. Carve out a space that is just for you and your partner, such as your bed? Certain "attachment parenting" guru's call this cruel, advocating for a baby that clings to you at all times. Giving to SIPA > List of Donors". SIPA: School of International and Public Affairs at Columbia University. Archived from the original on 14 August 2009.