On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy

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The best vantage point for understanding behavior is from the internal frame of reference of the individual. And, according to the fathers of psychology, there’s something disturbing deep within each and every one of us; and it is a psychotherapist’s job to help an individual either to do away with these dark impulses (Freud) or to embrace them and incorporate them in a healthier way in his being (Jung).

Two primary sources that influence our self-concept are childhood experiences and evaluation by others. According to Rogers, congruence between self-image and the ideal self signifies psychological health. Rogers describes an individual who is actualizing as a fully functioning person. TheThe idea behind it is deeply rooted within the philosophy of existentialism (Kierkegaard, Buber, Sartre): namely, that we are free to choose to become whoever we want to, but are frustrated because we are trapped in an existence which doesn’t express us. These conditions of worth can create a discrepancy between a person’s real self and ideal self, possibly leading to incongruence and psychological distress. For example Even if you are a psychotherapist. The Good Life Is About Becoming, and Becoming Is About Fulfilling Your Potential

In the development of the self-concept, he saw conditional and unconditional positive regard as key. Those raised in an environment of unconditional positive regard have the opportunity to fully actualize themselves. Those raised in an environment of conditional positive regard feel worthy only if they match conditions (what Rogers describes as conditions of worth) that others have laid down for them. However, unlike a flower, the potential of the individual human is unique, and we are meant to develop in different ways according to our personality. Rogers believed that people are inherently good and creative. Increasing organismic trust: they trust their own judgment and ability to choose behavior appropriate for each moment. They do not rely on existing codes and social norms but trust that as they are open to experiences they will be able to trust their own sense of right and wrong. Rogers, Carl. (1970). On Encounter Groups. New York: Harrow Books, Harper and Row, ISBN 0-06-087045-1 This process of the good life is not, I am convinced, a life for the faint-hearted. It involves the stretching and growing of becoming more and more of one's potentialities. It involves the courage to be. It means launching oneself fully into the stream of life. (Rogers 1961) [26]

As a result of interaction with the environment, and particularly as a result of evaluative interaction with others, the structure of the self is formed—an organized, fluid but consistent conceptual pattern of perceptions of characteristics and relationships of the "I" or the "me", together with values attached to these concepts. When it comes to relationships, the well-formed person lets go of any prejudice and preconception about others, and is fully congruent (i.e. experiencing the relationship being exactly what he/she is). The Person is truly interested in listening, rather than assume defensive positions. Becoming a person corresponds to letting go of inner resistance and masks, digging deeper into your true nature.

In other words, the therapist reveals little or nothing of their own personality in therapy. They adopt a veil of expertise and act as the expert. Rogers believed that by using the core conditions of empathy, congruence and unconditional positive regard, the client would feel safe enough to access their own potential. According to Rogers (1959), we want to feel, experience, and behave in ways consistent with our self-image and which reflect what we would like to be like, our ideal self. The closer our self-image and ideal self are to each other, the more consistent or congruent we are and the higher our sense of self-worth. As is the case with all ideas, it’s not like Rogers’ fell from Mars; on the contrary: they are deeply rooted within the philosophy of existentialism which emerged from the ashes of the two great wars; especially the second one.In other words, if you can be whatever you want to be, what you are at the moment is exactly what you are not (statistically, let’s say that’s only about 1% of your potential realized and you still have 99% to go). A helping relationship might be defined as one in which one of the participants intends that there should come about, in one or both parties, more appreciation of, more expression of, more functional use of the latent inner resources of the individual.” Rogers, Carl R, Lyon, Harold C., Tausch, Reinhard: (2013) On Becoming an Effective Teacher—Person-centered Teaching, Psychology, Philosophy, and Dialogues with Carl R. Rogers and Harold Lyon. London: Routledge