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The Little Book of Toilet Jokes: The Ultimate Collection of Crap Jokes, Number One-Liners and Hilarious Cracks

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My sister had a baby and they took a while to name her and I was like, ‘Hurry up!’ because I didn’t want my niece to grow up to be one of these kids you hear about on the news where it says, ‘The 17 year old defendant, who hasn’t been named’.” Jenny Collier (2016) Do you ever get that when you’re half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, ‘I’m not as hungry as I thought I was?'” Fru T. Bunn – a "Master Baker" who makes his own sex dolls out of gingerbread and then attempts to have sex with them. Often he actually succeeds, only to be discovered in the last frame by his wife and daughter (Little Chelsea - ref to the Chelsea Bun)!! Boyz R Uz - A stereotypical boy band who are constantly being ripped off by their handler. They do not sing or dance - only mime.

A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!” After visiting Canada for a meeting of the G7, Donald Trump remarked that it was ‘a really great overseas trip’.

Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job – knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.” Adam Rowe (2018) Trump was delighted to hear on TV that Mexico were finally building a wall. Unfortunately Trump doesn’t really understand the World Cup.

Gordon Zola and Cheddar George – they get up to various pranks involving cheese, until a policeman beats them to death with a giant smoked cheese "for all the cheese-related trouble you've caused" Christ on a Bender – a strip which depicts Jesus as a family man who keeps trying to escape the house to get "crucified" with his friends but is thwarted at every turn by his wife forcing him to stay home with her and look after their children. Bob Mortified - One-off strip in which Bob Mortimer goes fishing with Paul Whitehouse. After failing to catch a single fish, Mortimer is so embarrassed he bursts into tears; while Whitehouse decides he'd rather fish with Harry Enfield instead. The Intern - A strip telling the story of Tom Golightly, who dreams of being an advertising executive and in 1981 manages to get himself a one-year unpaid internship. The internship ends up lasting decades, as Tom waits to get a paid position at his firm even as he is constantly passed over for jobs (despite making the company a fortune with successful advertising campaigns, with his bosses taking all the credit) due to nepotism. Finally in March 2020 Tom's patience pays off and he is finally given a paid job at the firm, albeit as a mere teaboy. Unfortunately on the day Tom is due to begin his actual employment with the company at which he has worked at unpaid for almost 40 years (which is also his 61st birthday) he is told he is being furloughed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, with the firm folding a couple of months later.Donald Trump wants to arm teachers, which is crazy, because if Donald Trump’s teachers had been armed, we probably wouldn’t have to hear his stupid opinions on this issue. (Photo: Getty) Boy Scouse – a gang of delinquent schoolboys from Liverpool who earn Boy Scout badges for mugging pensioners, spraying graffiti and other such antisocial activities. MP Louise Ellman complained that it set a bad example and petitioned to have it banned. [4] [5] His core demographic? Possibly men whose holiday destinations would significantly overlap with a list of missing women.

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